Advice on relocating and changing daughter's school

[hippotigamus]

I was wondering whether anyone has any experiences they would mind sharing regarding changing their child’s school? My daughter is just about to go into year two – she loves her school to bits (as do we) and has made some really strong friendships.

After a lot of debating and budgeting, we decided to send her to a private school which we locked into just before the pandemic began. We are not particularly well off, but have always been comfortable and felt like with some tight budgeting it was something we could make work. Roll on three years, we lost all of our savings during the pandemic and had to survive on furlough pay for months.

Along with the increasing living expenses, the school fees are now crippling us. I’ve returned early from maternity leave, to a job I can’t stand, that has me working until late each night and most weekends. I’d love to do less hours but we need to earn as much money as possible to be able to make ends meet (I work on an hourly rate). My daughter resents me working so much (on top of caring for the new baby) and misses the mum she used to have an abundance of time to play with each day.

Between myself and my husband, we have hardly any downtime each day and are constantly sleep deprived and juggling kids/work/housework. We are seriously considering jacking it all in and uprooting to a different part of the country, where we could finally afford a house instead of a flat, and we would have less stresses.

Has anyone else done this before? Any advice, and how did your child take it? Did it all work out ok in the end? She's a very sensitive little soul and I know she would be devastated but I'm not sure how much longer we can carry on footing the bill for the school, and a relocation seems like it could be the best way of fixing multiple problems.

Thanks for reading this far!

I wouldn't worry too much about the school change. We relocated (for different reasons) and our youngest went into a new school in Year 1 and has now changed again (Infant/Junior system) for Year 3. It was wobbly for a bit but what is interesting is how resilient she is now and how good she is at making friends.

Your situation is clearly unsustainable and I think the earlier you pull her out the better. The biggest question is how will you work if you relocate? Will you or your DH have to commute? I think you need to think very carefully about where you would go and why as if you just leap you may find yourself with another set of problems.

Can you just move her to a local primary for Sept. take the pressure off, take a breath and then take some time, possibly up until the end of primary before you relocate so she is going into a new school at secondary and is new like everyone else?

Especially now you have 2 kids, I think you need to move her sooner rather than later. Whilst she will understandably be upset, you can try to frame it positively and get her excited. As she is younger, hopefully she will make new friends quite quickly. In some areas you have junior schools from year 3, so that would be a natural new start anyway.

Just don't forget to check the terms of your notice period for the school.

We relocated last year - DD was year one. She was nervous about moving schools but it was the uncertainty she didn't like. As soon as we knew which school and could take her to see it she was fine. She was nervous before starting but settled within days and soon made friends. It's a good age to move them when they still change best friends daily(!).

Could you not just move her to a local primary? We've found relocation was really expensive. It's worth it in the long run for us as my job is better and living is cheaper in new location but there have been points when it's felt like we're haemorrhaging money.

You definitely need to get out of private education. I can see the temptation to make it just one move so you don't have her move school twice if you relocate later. The only thing I'd say is that from friends experience, the younger the better for this type of move.

I think she’s young enough that you could make this work now. But the longer she stays at her school, the harder it will be.

How quickly can you make a move like that happen?

Are you in London, by any chance? Schools (state) are excellent there if you didn’t want to move house and school. But if you were going to do the location move in the future, probably better to do both at once now.

Give your terms notice and go state asap.