Leavers assembly - no school prizes

[mids2019]

My daughter has just left primary school and the head decided to give every child a prize instead of traditional prizes for various assignments given by benefactors.

The head explained that every child was special in a unique way and therefore should be equally awarded. The leavers assembly then continued with the head giving a brief statement on the qualities of each child.

Do you think the original awards should be reinstated. Granted not every child wins a prize but do year 6 children ultimately have to accept that not everyone wins in a competitive environment? Should children applaud those that do win and consider how they would go forward to gain comparable awards in future and additional develop resilience when not winning? Is the 'everyone's a winner atrocities ' ultimately helpful or unhelpful.

@TeenDivided

Good point well made. I think that there have been some powerful arguments that primary school especially a leavers' assembly is not a place for prize giving.

However does someone winning a prize necessarily mean that others have to be disappointed or to feel uappreciated? At some.point (maybe not primary school) is there a place to.celebrate other's success?

@MrsTerryPratchett

thank you for your last post and there were plenty of well made points that I definitely found worth considering.

I like the point about success having natural consequences and it is somehow an integral part of our make up to recognise this therefore there is no need for external affirmation.

My old school many moons ago did have a prize giving ceremony but maybe attitudes are changing?

Noodle - so even if they work hard they might not get to be part of the special third. Every year over half the year fear they haven't worked hard enough. I don't really like that either.

I love your post @MrsTerryPratchett . So true.

At some.point (maybe not primary school) is there a place to.celebrate other's success?

Kids do that all the time. They go to concerts, football matches, they celebrate their friends' achievements. But why should they be expected to celebrate the success of random other people whose successes they don't care about? It's a really odd concept.

Adults hate it too BTW. People hate work events where people drone on about how well Kevin in IT did with the Project for Managing Change last year.

Why do the other children need to celebrate that X is good at maths at the end of the year? (And how on earth are you measuring academic success anyway - there's so many ways to be clever?) I love the schools that are genuinely celebrating each individual .

My primary didn't do a "prizegiving" so its not really a concept I was bought up with. I dont think it is great for anyone really. The other 89 or the 1 who starts to work for extrinsic rewards/ starts to fear not being top.

Exactly Mrs TP. Once you're removed from it it seems a super strange concept.

I’m a teacher and I agree with the people who said that it sounds lovely. An end of year assembly is not the place to be teaching children a ‘lesson’ on the value of losing. They would have had this during their school year/sports days/competitions etc. Also, it’s part of your role as a parent to teach your child these things.
Schools can’t keep everyone happy, and this is an example of why - there’s always someone to take issue with the most random things. You can’t win. The fact that you’re spending so much time and energy into posting about this and replying to everyone says it all I think. Holidays are here, go enjoy them with your kids and stop looking for problems where there are none.

Thanks @BugsInTheBed

I think I'm slightly obsessed because I've worked a lot with care leavers and even some gang-involved young people. And they are exactly the ones that need someone to say, "you're so interesting/funny/sparky/helpful/friendly" but never get it. The things they are good at never get seen.

And they remember. If you really see the qualities they care about in themselves, they act on it every time.

You took the words right out of my mouth @MrsTerryPratchett 😴💤

@MrsTerryPratchett

I hadn't really thought about praising success really needing to be someone's choice. The idea of prize giving at school maybe falls down because it is an enforced celebration and young people are essentially forced to praise others when in their hearts they do not really feel they should.

Do you find though in contrast to sporting success children can celebrate each other's academic success?.I am sure in some circles this may happen but in all?

Do you find though in contrast to sporting success children can celebrate each other's academic success?

Life rewards this. Quite substantially and repeatedly. Why would they need their peers to applaud them for it?

@SWTutor

As a teacher what do you tell your students when they have achieved something academically? Is it a quick word.of.praise in a relatively private setting?

I can see the point about the difficulty bookkeeping everyone happy!

Exactly. The academic children who work hard get rewarded by good GCSE & A level results. By being able to go to university and get a good job with career progression.

The hard working but less academic children are often overlooked.

Actually people often seem to prefer to have a 'bright but lazy' child and sometimes on MN almost seem to view the less bright but hard working child as sneakily cheating if they get better results than the bright but lazy.

My DD with various SEN issues thrives on frequent small specific praise. But so often at school because she was quiet and no trouble was overlooked.

Because the "life rewards" are many years into the future.

@MrsTerryPratchett

I guess sporting success of at an elite level can be pretty rewarding in life terms.

I kind of see the point that academic ability needn't necessarily be praised because it will bring its own rewards. Why heap adulation on the straight A student when in all probability they may have a well remunerated and enjoyable career when others may not.

Is there not a case for at least a teacher to acknowledge the success in a personal setting?

My DD with various SEN issues thrives on frequent small specific praise.

Mine too. She'd hate a prize-giving. But when her teacher was looking for someone to show a new girl around, the sneaky and clever teacher said loudly, "I need someone kind to show Clara around. [pause] DD, you and your friend group would be lovely". DD was so proud of herself! And the new girl made friends.

DD struggled a lot and this was really important to her.

Because the "life rewards" are many years into the future.

Of course they're not. Every child in the class knows whose handwriting is best, who can read really well, who is good at maths. And they get praise from their parents. And teachers.

Pretending children don't know they are good at things without prizes is baffling to me. Of course they do.

Is there not a case for at least a teacher to acknowledge the success in a personal setting?

Absolutely. But this should be the case for all children on a regular basis, not just the top ones.

• Oh well done in your test Alex your accuracy was great


• Super work Tim, your use of interesting vocabulary was stupendous


• Lovely story Sam, your spelling is getting so much better


• Well done in your tables test Nadiya, your score was 6 higher than last week

It depends on the circumstances! There is no one-fits-all scenario. But I think what the headteacher did was lovely, and appropriate for the circumstances. Rewards and sanctions are a bigger conversation, and one which you can guarantee that most schools have discussed.

No, give the kids you are extraordinary something for that. Celebrate, shout it out and then give everyone prizes for stuff they are good at too. Don't be ashamed of academic/sporting/artistic brilliance. Lots of other stuff too but don't make it the same thing.

A leavers assembly is a place to acknowledge all kids. They have been part of that community for 7 years and I think the Head's gesture was lovely and very appropriate.

I was an academic student, I’d have loved the occasional private ‘well done’ or ‘great work’, rather than the ignoring I got because my high scores were seen as expected for me. I did win a couple of prizes but hated being centre of attention so a prize-giving ceremony was an ordeal to be endured - what I enjoyed more were the enrichment days, where for example a small group of students deemed to be excelling at French would be taken out of lessons and go and spend a day learning Spanish in a relaxed environment at our language teacher’s house.
different things work for different people, it’s great if schools can take a variety of approaches so every child gets to feel seen and valued in a way that suits them at least sometimes.

There’s middle ground between not acknowledging success and public prize giving though. My son knows he’s good at maths because he sit on the top table and gets given extension work. He knows who struggles and gets extra help from the teachers. He knows he’s crap at spelling because the class do a weekly spelling test which they hand over to their seat mate to mark. He can also tell me who always gets top marks.

By 11, children know that academic success is a good thing, and will likely lead to greater opportunities later in life. DS knows that his natural ability in maths will probably be beneficial; he doesn’t need to be handed a trophy or certificate in front of everyone at his leavers assembly while the other kids who not so gifted have their positive attributes ignored.

What the head did was wonderful and made it special for each and every child. I wish all schools did this. He left a lasting impression on the kids and made them feel good. Truly lovely!

@TeenDivided

Good points