Feel upset after talking to headteacher about my DS's new move

[Dancingsquid]

Hi! This is my first post as I just join the forum.
My DS settled at his current school about six months since we moved to the UK, he is academically okay but he can't find any good friends there as many of them have already build their own friendships, especially the boys, since my son is not very interested in football and he is a quiet person, the boys are not very welcoming him and sometimes rejected to play with him even he asked to join. Some girls are quite rude to him, one girl pushed him without any reason and two girls threw him stones. I am so sad hearing him complaining about this, so I have been thinking to move him to another school.
This decision is confirmed after we moved to another area within the same catchment. We used to walk to the school but now we have to spend about 25 minutes to go to the school by bus. I find it quite stressful as I have to prepare his lunch every morning and we have to catch the exact bus at a specific time in order to get to school on time, otherwise we will be a bit late for schools and it was quite crowded in the morning, it is always a bit hard to find a pleasant place to stand.

I know it might be my problem not thinking it twice before decided to move, but I feel DS a bit frustrated to the new routine to school.

We notice that there is a nearby school close to us which only take less than 8 minutes by walk, the school is much bigger and have many facilities like a bigger playground, science room, kitchen for kids...etc... the current one is a small scale school which the playground is a bit not big enough. I did not consider this at first, while giving DS friendship problems at school and the travelling time, I started to think about a move.

We tried to call the school if there is any available place, after few days, they replied we can start to study there in the coming September (my DS is in Y2 now). We take the offer and inform our current headteacher about move, headteacher is a bit not very happy about our move and said the travelling time is not the right reason to change school as there are few families living in our area or even far, they never raise any concerns about this.

I feel a bit sad reading the message. I understand other parents might be okay with taking bus to school, but to me, it is quite an issue. Besides, after considering his situation in current school, I am not quite confident that my son can break into their circle as they have significantly shown their feelings towards my son.

I am in a mixed mood now and starting to question myself whether it is a right decision to change the school for him?

Can anyone give me your feeling about this?

Thanks for reading and sorry for writing such a long thread!

Thanks for understanding me. Yes am a bit hesitate to point out the social problem as they keep saying he is socially settled but this is really not the case. We just settled here for 1 year and don't know much about the culture yet, just don't want my DS to have any bad impact by pointing out the school problem. I should be more brave to point this out to avoid the same situations happen to other kids too.

OP the appropriate response from a HT when told by a parent that they have accepted a place at a different school closer to their home is ‘thank you for telling us, we have very much enjoyed teaching little X, and wish him well in his new school’.

the fact the HT came back to you with a criticism of you is enough to tell me this isn’t the right school for your DC! Never mind the unhappiness etc…. Which is also enough.

I can see no reason in your post NOT to change his school.
Its great that here is a space for him at the new school

Yes I am feeling the same. I thought the headteacher will say something nice and not criticising me. If she thought it might not be good to start a new school, she can just say so and not criticising my decision by using other parent's cases. We have different situations and feelings, it is really not appropriate to compare.
Thanks a lot for supporting me!

Yes! thanks so much for supporting!

Absolutely move him.

He has 4 years left of primary and it seems like he is not integrated in his current school.

The new school is closer (and absolutely fair reason to move him on its own) and moving gives him an opportunity to make new friends. The children in his current class sound awful.

Thanks for supporting!
I did raise out the "bullying" issues to them before, but they were not willing to define it as bullying. They think the kids knew nothing and maybe they just did it for fun. The truth is most of the boys in his class are not very friendly to him, they ruined his Lego when he is building it, punched his back when he is crossing by. I am feeling so heartbroken when knowing this.

I moved my son after less than a year at his school, the kids were awful to him.

He's having a much better time at his new school (moved him years ago now) fully integrated, socially and emotionally and much much happier.

Oh no....It must be a mismatch for him at his previous school! Happy to know he is having a good time at the current school!
Sometimes I think he just needs time to get along well with others, but it is significantly not true. They are just too awful to him.
We both made the right decision!

@Dancingsquid

It was awful, he had additional needs so didn't really understand but he would sit alone at playtime waiting to be asked to join in because when he asked they said no.

It broke my heart for him. They would say terrible things to him too.

Best thing we did was move him. He's got a large friendship group now and he's always doing something after school or at the weekend.

The local scout group has been amazing for him too, lots of kids at his school go and he goes to camp with them.

What a wise decision to move him.
He got a group of news friend, it means he is really a great boy, well deserved to be welcomed!

We have moved our child twice, no regrets at all. The second school we had the same experience, class dynamics weren't working for our son .

He is extremely happy and is actually upset they are finishing for Summer now.
Stay strong and do what you think is right for your child.

The school loses money when pupils leave. Ignore the head and move him.

Glad to know you son is happy with the new school now! Yes if the kids are happy at school, no parents will think of moving them to a better one.
I hope mine will have a happier life too!!
Thanks for sharing your story! ^^

Oh I don't know this!
I thought the head will be happy to see their pupil moving to a nearby school, but I don't know why she has this reaction. My DS's current is not a bad one and I think they don't have any problems finding another child to replace him.
Her reaction is really upsetting me.