4 and not into holding pencil

[maryanne22]

As the title says. He's 4 and off to school in September and isn't really interested in holding a pencil etc. he does do it if u sit with him but then scarpers after 5 mins lol. He much prefers being outside.

I have tried the other stuff such as putting beads on a string etc as suggested online but again no joy

Should I worry or will reception have seen this before? He CAN hold a pencil and make marks just doesn't want to

Don't worry. Reception is still part of EYFS and they ease them in to writing gradually. I'd say 5 minutes of an activity he doesn't like us reasonable too. Ideally I would practise him writing his name, as it is helpful to name his pictures, but not essential before starting.

Our school gave advice like hanging from monkey bars to build strength, which he might enjoy more! Maybe try mark making with a stick in sand or soil too! Or painting water on the patio.

My 4 year old daughter is very much like this and a few of her friends (while others are writing away!) so I am hoping it is not going to be a problem too! She will do colouring with pencils if its a tv character she likes, there’s free colouring online for moat characters. She will use bath crayons, and I got some laminated sheets of letters/ shapes etc from Etsy that she will sometimes trace as she likes the whiteboard pens. If he likes being outside could you make letters with pebbles/ leaves etc, do chalks or “water painting” on the fence, Etc? I also try to point out writing and read what it says, let her see me writing lists etc to try to get her interest. But I think trying to force her to practice this summer is more likely to backfire really if she decides she hates it!

My son was the same just before starting reception and had been at the school nursery for a year.

At the end of reception he’s decided he loves drawing and his handwriting is still pretty poor but not terrible.

He’s thriving with maths/reading so not an indication that school will be a problem generally at all.

Good luck for September!

helliontoys.co.uk/blogs/news/where-is-the-pen-nurturing-handwriting-through-play

scroll down until you see the hand x Ray! You’ll then understand why it’s difficult for some little ones to hold a pencil

That’s a 7 year olds hand vs an EYFS child’s hand.

the difference is remarkable. It sometimes hurts the children to do fine motor skills and this could be why they’re reluctant. (You wouldn’t hold a pen if your thumbs ached!)

Do exercises that strengthen hand muscles and Lego helps a lot too x

Don’t worry about it at all, my DS was the same but has made steady progress. Playdoh is fab for building up the strength in their hands.

Ds was like that. The only "pencil" he'd hold was the stylus for his DSi.

He still hates writing, but is allowed to use a computer for school and exams. However he did fairly quickly move to using a pencil once he was at school.

Don't worry, that's what reception if for, to get them ready for school. Agree with PP, if you're worried just so lots of playdoh and activities like that at home to improve strength.

If he likes being outside, can you give him some chunky chalk to draw with in the garden - maybe get him to draw roads or train tracks for his cars. Or, give him a clean, big paintbrush and a bucket of water and get him to paint a wall or fence (kids really seem to love this one), spray bottles are great for building up hand muscles, he could water the plants or clean the windows.
There is a great book called "squiggle, fiddle, splat" by Martin Williams that has some great ideas for fine motor skills development and encouraging reluctant writers.

I’d offer him other ways to do mark making such as finger painting, drawing in sand, rice, shaving foam, making shapes out of straws, rolling out play doh and using a pencil to mark drawings and patterns in it etc. I wouldn’t worry too much about the lack of interest in holding a pencil at this point just look for ways to make mark making fun.

One of my children started holding his pencil for the first time aged almost 6yo. Don't worry. They just follow others in their class and it clicks.

Up until almost 6yo he just wanted to be outdoors playing.

Thanks for all the replies I'm a lot more reassured now

@DreamingofItaly2023 so I took ur advice and got a pot of play doh and he's been squeezing it and pulling hits off. Not making stuff just literally playing with it and pulling at it. Is that what u mean?

Bits not hits

Hi @maryanne22 my DS4 is the same due to start reception in September his school nursery report has said he needs to practice writing letters and numbers over the break. We have had a little chat about it as he like yours just wants to be out and playing and we have agreed a 5 minute handwriting practice everyday during holidays. I use a little sand timer set for 5 minutes which DS loves and do different writing activities - his favourite so far has been a tray with flour on it and I put some letters on the table and he copies them in the flour. If you are on Instagram there are some great EYFS teachers on there with tips.

Many schools do something called "dough disco" in nursery and one of the activities is pinching and picking at playdough. TBH pincer grip is just as important so don't feel that what he's doing isn't beneficial.

Some of the things I do to entice reluctant writers in reception are:

• taping paper to the underside of a table so children lay under and write (great for strengthening wrists)


• writing on different surfaces (whiteboard pens on mirrors or tables, chalkboards, magnetic pens)


• mark making in a sand tray


• fill a plastic zip bag with paint and stick it to the table and either use fingers or the end of the paintbrush to make marks


• colouring in favourite characters


• playing with rubber bands (putting them onto things, filling and emptying a bottle


• there's so much you can do with tweezers - transferring pompoms, picking up objects etc. A class favourite is taping a spider web onto the top of a tough tray and filling it with toy minibeasts and have children pick them out

I would also look into "funky fingers" on Pinterest. You will find loads of ideas that you could tailor to meet your son's interests.

Also, it's VERY common for children to refuse to hold a pencil. Some children aren't ready for it (as the xrays someone else posted show) and others don't see the value in it yet. We spend a lot of time writing and mark making in school so you will see a change once your son starts school. Some of my most hesitant writers have become absolute masters of writing.

Soooo. I'm having better luck with felt pens Altho he still only wants to do 5 mins here and there

I introduced stickers but he didn't seem to understand or wasn't interested

Should I worry?

Reception teacher here and nothing to worry about at all! 5 mins is a great starting point. I would reiterate what others have already said - painting the ground or a fence with water, chunky chalks are great, sand play, using playdough, a shallow tray with sand/flour/glitter to write in. Maybe get him to do a few mins here and there but don’t push him. Little and often is best. He’ll be fine, don’t worry. There’ll be lots in Reception at the same stage.