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Original poster

Book bags - honest answers only please

100 replies

joggingalong · 16/01/2008 16:04

Hi,

My ds is in reception. He has gone to a friend's house for tea for the first time today. He was picked up from school.

What I would like to know is, what are the chances that his friend's Mum will look in his bookbag, to see what reading book he is on?

Does anyone know of a mother doing this, or have you taken a sneaky peak yourself?

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indignatio · 16/01/2008 16:06

70% IMHO

Iota · 16/01/2008 16:06

I would say pretty high - Reception mums tend to stress over whether their child is doing OK

TigerFeet · 16/01/2008 16:07

dd is preschool but I would

although I wouldn't really compare - reception is far too young to make judgements on reading skills.

But I am incurably nosey

Why do you ask?

pageturner · 16/01/2008 16:08

Agree about 70%. Have looked a couple of times out of pure nosiness, but haven't bothered for a long time.

paperchain · 16/01/2008 16:09

Oh I look this thread ! My DS1 is now in Y1. I wondered the same thing when he first went back to play with someone. But when I returned the playdate I was tempted, but didnt look.

Now we all know each other a bit better, we make jokes about seeing what book/spelling list/homework sheet the DC are on!

wheresthehamster · 16/01/2008 16:09

Yes if he's her the eldest child, possibly if he's the second child and completely won't be bothered if third or more

LadyMuck · 16/01/2008 16:09

If we want to know what reading book a child is on it is fairly easy to work it out in the mornings to be honest! Though I think that this is a first child thing myself.

I usually quiz them on any school details that my dc is silent upon, though now that I have two at the same school I seem to know everything.

Original poster
joggingalong · 16/01/2008 16:18

Thanks for your answers, I guess that's what I would expect. I suppose I was wandering whether I would be tempted in the reverse situation and feeling a bit ashamed of the thought

OP posts:
Blu · 16/01/2008 16:18

I haven't, but haven't really felt any compulsion to, and know, roughly, which of Ds's friends are ahead and which not, from general chat. But only over the big milestones - who is on chapter books, who is on the new phonic books for the still-getting-there ones. Not which book in which level of ORT. And it doesn't make any difference to how they are as friends, or my concerns / confidence about DS.

But I bet lots of people do look - if they have time in the scury of getting in, offering drinks etc!

xtc · 16/01/2008 16:23

Would they really look? Don't they have anything else to worry about?

So please I'm not a competitive mum.

nametaken · 16/01/2008 17:07

It's disgusting behaviour in my opinion.

My neighbour and I were chatting (we live next door to each other) one day and my daughter was standing there with her book in her hand and my neighbour snatched it off her and said, "oh XXXX, what stage are you on then"

Stop worrying all the time about what everyone else has got, can do, etc etc, or you'll never be happy.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 16/01/2008 17:09

My DD went home with a fried amd it didn't even cross my mind that she would. Of course she wouldn't and neither would I. It's like looking in someone's handbag. Nothing to do with the other parent.

lulumama · 16/01/2008 17:09

you are joking?????? i would not, have not and never would look at anyone else's DCs book bag contents. would be if someone saw what stage Ds was on and judged him for not being as clever/ bright/ gifted.....he is dyslexic, you see..

it would never have occured to me that anyone would do this... until i read this!

KrippledKerryMum · 16/01/2008 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu · 16/01/2008 17:43

I would be very uncomfortable about invading a child's privacy too.

xtc · 16/01/2008 17:44

I hope the child catches one of you that looks and tell's their parents.

CountessDracula · 16/01/2008 17:45

DD often has friends back and I have never looked

I woulnd't have a clue which child was on which level!

Porpoise · 16/01/2008 17:47

God, I think EVERYONE does it in Reception at least once.

Some feel guilty and silly and never do it again; others carry on doing it for years.

FlllightAttendant · 16/01/2008 17:47

What??

I have no idea what 'level' my own child is on, let alone anyone else's!

All I see is 'boring book' or 'book with no words this week then' or 'Ooh we had this one when I was his age'.

CountessDracula · 16/01/2008 17:47

I bet I will now

CarGirl · 16/01/2008 17:47

dd2 is not a natural academic so I assume all/most of her friends are on higher level than her but tbh I don't really care as long as she positive friendships with reasonably well behaved children I don't care! Can't remember being bothered about that with dd1.........she was probably one of the top in the class.

CountessDracula · 16/01/2008 17:47

you get books with no words?
How does that work then?

andiemustlosehalfastonemore · 16/01/2008 17:48

I agree with lulu on this I didn't know the tables were graded until the last day of reception that was an eye opener some mums knew the individual movements of all children from table to table
I just laughed they thought I was the odd one

Chopster · 16/01/2008 17:52

I don;t even get the chance!

I find it really strange, I don't really care whether a mum looks at dd's or not, nor would it interest me to look in others. DD does struggle with literacy and I know her friends are all higher than her - I don't need to look.

But, one of her friends, who comes on regular playdates to ours has her mother come to purposely collect her book bag and take it home when she comes to ours for tea! Surely there are more important things to worry about.

Porpoise · 16/01/2008 18:01

I don't think they ALL do it to feel smug about their LO's reading level.

I think some mums find it difficult to deal with the way you're no longer told how your child's doing in relation to the rest of the class. (I think it's a good thing this has stopped, BTW)

They're looking to check their own LO isn't falling behind.