Best way to deal with competitive mums?

[mamatothreebunnies]

Hope this isn’t the wrong place for the thread. Just need advice on how to deal with mums who have to constantly compare what their child is doing compared to yours, how many languages they can speak compared to yours, how strong they are and how good they are at sport. It sounds made up but this one particular mum is nothing like I’ve ever seen before and I’m struggling to just continue smiling and saying “oh that’s great”. Our kids are very good friends (7year olds) so it’s not possible to not interact with her etc. why do mums do this?

When mine were small aged 6ish and 8ish I had a friend (thinking back she wasn't a friend at all) who boasted how intelligent and studious her child was and I never responded with claims that mine were brilliant at this or that even though my youngest was a fluent reader very early. Maybe she knew anyway because she looked after mine once as a big favour when I needed an emergency dental visit and was stuck for help. When I collected mine later from her house there were children's books on the table.

I believed then as I still do now that she had tested my child's reading (her and my youngest were in the same class) and didn't like what she found. I later asked my youngest what they played while I was out and they said "reading the storybooks"

Ridiculous situation but some folk are like that and feel the need to brag.

Is the friend a full time mother?

Generalising here but perhaps it's because her children are her life. She doesn't have a job to talk about. Or any hobbies. Her life revolves around the child so it's all she has to talk about.

It sounds very frustrating but I suspect there's a deeper issue. Maybe subtly ask what she does for fun, what are her hobbies etc. see if she gets the hint?

Honestly, i'd just ignore and won't make any comments, just nod and change the subject where possible. i have noticed some mums just use this line of conversation to find out what other children do/which clubs attend etc. they'd think if they mention what their kids do other parents may volunteer some information too.

Anecdotally I found sahms were more chilled if you are prepared to step back from your career you are less likely to be this competent personality type…

Competitive not competent

I've met a few who treat it as a job with KPIs, to 'justify' leaving a paid role for it.

Most of the boasty ones I've met have the intelligence/social awareness to boast a bit subtly though

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