6 year old separation anxiety

[melodypondisasuperhero]

Hi everyone

DS6 has some issues with separation anxiety. He goes to breakfast club (unfortunately due to work we can’t change this) and up until now DH has taken him to breakfast club, settled him in for a few minutes and left. This has been mostly OK, with some days being more difficult than others.

Last week, the headteacher told DH now that DS is a bit older and has settled in to school (he started this school in October) DH is no longer to take him into school but drop him in reception. Doesn’t seem too unreasonable but DS is really struggling with this! He’s expressed that he’s very sad and can’t understand why DH can’t go in with him anymore. This morning it took ten minutes of three staff members prying him off DH in reception.

He’s really happy in school apart from this, he’s got lots of friends, speaks very positively about his teachers and about his day, we’ve had loads of positive feedback about how well he’s settled in, so it’s really just this initial separation that’s become a huge problem. I think DH coming in with him was a bit of a security blanket and now he’s feeling like it’s been ripped from under him.

Has anyone else had similar and what did you do about it?

Perhaps ask the school if they run the ELSA programme which is for supporting children with various emotional and anxiety issues. My DS has been doing it for a few months for anxiety and disengagement with learning as the result of the lockdowns and it has helped enormously.

If they don’t then the Senco may be able to advise on how to deal with his anxiety at school drop-off.

Yes we have and it had awful consequences to their mental health and education for many years. Now co-director of Define Fine CIC. Please don’t allow staff to prise your child away from you, he obviously doesn’t feel safe and happy to stay or he wouldn’t be showing this behaviour. Feel free to join our group for support around this issue and to use our free guide www.facebook.com/groups/773420163493553/

I’m having similar issues with my DS6 - he gets really upset going in to school and when I leave the house. He did tell me that I’m his “safeness” the other day and he’s developed a fear of the dark so doesn’t want me to leave him at bedtime. He was so bad today that he sobbed and tried to barricade the door to stop me going to the gym. Apparently he’s ok once I’m gone (both DH and his teacher have said that) but I think it’s anxiety. I’m going to ask school for some help - I’ll look into the ELSA programme, thanks for the tip.

DC1 went through a separation anxiety phase in Y4, pre-covid. We found Helen Kennerley's book "Overcoming Anxiety" helpful.

Thanks everyone! DS ended up solving it himself, he thought making the drop off shorter (ie dad not hanging around so much) would make it easier and it really did, he goes in happier than anything now! I think it probably was just adjusting to the new routine.

Great news - well done your DS.