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If your child is going on a residential school trip, please, please be honest with the teachers.

43 replies

BlueBloodedBlue · 12/06/2022 15:51

Please tell them ALL the relevant information- we need to know if your child sleepwalks or has night terrors, isn't dry at night, is terrified of cats and dogs, only eats one particular type of cereal (and will hyperventilate if given another) and many other examples.

Please don't be embarrassed (we have heard it all and more before) and it is so much easier to deal with and less distressing for the child, if we know beforehand.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BangingOn · 12/06/2022 16:13

I’m really worried about DS going on a residential next year when he’s in year 4. He’s had a lot of sleep issues following cancer treatment and whilst he now sleeps through he struggles to fall asleep without someone with him and is usually wide awake by 5am. It doesn’t seem fair to ask the teachers to manage that but DS would be the only one not going.

BadgerFace · 12/06/2022 16:24

My friend went and stayed near the group residential with her DS who is autistic and didn’t want to stay onsite. She dropped him off every morning so her DS participated in all the activities and picked him up at bedtime. Would that be an option for you and your DS @BangingOn?

My daughter has her residential this week and has been so anxious the last few weeks. It’s been really tough.

BlueBloodedBlue · 12/06/2022 16:26

Please talk to the teachers, I read a particular bedtime story to a child (and the others in their room) every night - although apparently I didn't do the voices properly 😂
We had a number of early risers and they knew they had to read quietly - tbh they are keeo busy duringthe dsy that most slepp later than they do at home.

OP posts:
BangingOn · 12/06/2022 16:28

@BadgerFace I hope your DD has a lovely time. Staying nearby could be an option actually.

@BlueBloodedBlue I will have a chat with the teachers in September and see what they say, thank you.

LongLive89 · 12/06/2022 16:31

As a teacher, I second the OP.

I teach older kids (11-18) and honestly, I’ve seen it all. It’s our job to prepare for everything so anything you tell us, really does help.

I had a student with crohn’s one year for example whose mum emailed me directly (she was too embarrassed to speak to me directly) and we sorted a single room for her with a private bathroom so she was comfortable.

Randommother · 12/06/2022 16:31

I remember trying to give info about my son to his teacher for his first residential, and honestly she couldn’t have been less interested!

GazeboLantern · 12/06/2022 16:33

As a parent of children who were all very late at being dry at night (one well into secondary) can I just say that the teachers who take children on residentials are AMAZING.

Definitely talk openly to the teachers about the challenges your child faces, and they will work out a plan of action with you.

(And, yes, I personally have thanked the teachers individually.)

motogirl · 12/06/2022 16:35

My dd is autistic so I was so worried the first time she stayed away (choir tour) but it was so good in the end. Because it was a mixed age group, some of the older ones helped out with the younger ones including cuddles at bed time, dd was just 9. A few weeks later she got the opportunity to go on tour with a children's orchestra when they had last minute drop outs and she went like a shot, no extra help needed that time.

BlueBloodedBlue · 12/06/2022 16:43

I'm sorry to hear that @Randommother but in my experience in schools, they would be the exception rather than the normal.

As staff, school trips are exhausting but it is so lovely to see the kids blossom outside school and get to know them better.

In our school all staff that go are volunteers (and we don't get paid any extra!) so we all want to be there to give the kids the best experience we can.

OP posts:
Solosunrise · 12/06/2022 16:47

Randommother · 12/06/2022 16:31

I remember trying to give info about my son to his teacher for his first residential, and honestly she couldn’t have been less interested!

Sadly, this was true for us as well 😔

LondonWolf · 12/06/2022 16:48

Randommother · 12/06/2022 16:31

I remember trying to give info about my son to his teacher for his first residential, and honestly she couldn’t have been less interested!

Same. Dd didn't go in the end.

Solosunrise · 12/06/2022 16:50

BlueBloodedBlue · 12/06/2022 16:43

I'm sorry to hear that @Randommother but in my experience in schools, they would be the exception rather than the normal.

As staff, school trips are exhausting but it is so lovely to see the kids blossom outside school and get to know them better.

In our school all staff that go are volunteers (and we don't get paid any extra!) so we all want to be there to give the kids the best experience we can.

I'm hoping our experience was not normal and also because it was 20 years ago.
We know several young teachers and like you, they work so hard to give the children a great experience!
Thank you for all you do Flowers

OwlNoisesInHerFace · 12/06/2022 17:00

My daughter will be Yr 6 in September and they go on residential in October. At the minute she can't even handle a one night sleepover at a friend's house as she gets homesick and cries to come home. So I'm not really sure how she's going to manage four nights on residential!

HeatherThick · 12/06/2022 17:03

Randommother · 12/06/2022 16:31

I remember trying to give info about my son to his teacher for his first residential, and honestly she couldn’t have been less interested!

Same for us, so sadly my son probably won't be going on his this year.
I've asked to make sure he is in the same room as one particular friend, and close to a toilet. I've been told that they can't make allowances for anyone as it's not fair on everyone else!

FredGarland · 12/06/2022 17:05

Yes, please do tell the teachers - I'm sad for those who tried and were rebuffed but I honestly do think those teachers were exceptions (thankfully).

The centres are usually very helpful - they too have seen it all - and provide extras where they can. One year they gave us an extra bedroom in case our child with autism needed a time out space.

pattish · 12/06/2022 17:11

Randommother · 12/06/2022 16:31

I remember trying to give info about my son to his teacher for his first residential, and honestly she couldn’t have been less interested!

This is my experience too.

lanthanum · 12/06/2022 17:29

Our primary had an excellent "stepping stone" to the residential - an overnight camp on the school field. Those who weren't sure they could manage could give it a go, because if they weren't coping it would be an easy matter to give parents a call, and those who couldn't manage it could be there in time for breakfast in the morning so they were part of the rest. If they woke in the night, the toilets were somewhere they knew well - I'm sure that familiarity helped too. A company came with tents which the kids put up themselves, and ran other outdoor activities, and the PTCA organised a BBQ and breakfast.

HoobleDooble · 12/06/2022 17:35

My son ended up sleeping in the same bed as his friend on their residential as neither of them could get to sleep on their own. My friend has a sin with autism and she had to make round trips every day to sneak in and smuggle food to the teachers without him seeing her as there's only currently 6 foods he'll eat (a MASSIVE improvement on the 2 items a year ago though). It was a huge achievement for him to decide he wanted to go and she didn't want to risk rocking the boat if he saw her x

SpaceJamtart · 12/06/2022 17:35

There was always stuff on residentials that I wish one of the parents would have mentioned, asked, or even just noted on the form

Child who came with 10+ daily medications in their wash bag that we did not know about until the third night when they couldnt find a toothbrush so we went looking

Child who did not know how to dress or undress themselves. (Not an issue, we would have helped, but a heads up would have been good, before child got trapped in a jumper and had a panic attack)

Child who had never slept with the main bedroom lights turned off, was not willing to compromise with nightlights or leaving to door open to a lit hallway

Child who slept on a floorbed at home because they rolled around at night, so multiple times a night fell out of bed, and cried in suprise and woke up the whole dorm

Child (aged 10 ish) who had never had a shower without help and did not know how to wash their hair or what any of the stuff in their washbag was for as it had been bought specially for the trip and they were not familiar with the bottles

Quite small Child who liked to sleep inside of their duvet cover with it buttoned up (thought child had run away or somehow got lost)

child whose family did not wear pyjamas at home, so did not send any with their child for the trip. Very confident child was sent with friends to get into pyjamas and come back out to watch the film and returned naked to watch Nanny Mc Phee. Child did not understand why they could not just sit in the hall naked.

All would have been fine if we had been told in advance or had it been put on the form, children under 13 do not remember to tell us any of this stuff. When we rang home to ask parents all seemed suprised that we did not know their child did that, or that it was not common behaviour we should have been expecting

Workyticket · 12/06/2022 17:37

One of our teachers learnt how to massage/slap (sorry, I don't know the terminology) the lungs of a child who had cystic fibrosis in our year. The boys dad came to school every lunch time for weeks to teach him.

This was back in the 80s so no trained TA or medical 1:1

I had no idea back then the difference it would have made to that child to be able to come.

I was lucky enough to train under that teacher as he was my mentor years later when I did my teacher training and I remember chatting with him about it.

PlantSpider · 12/06/2022 17:41

Randommother · 12/06/2022 16:31

I remember trying to give info about my son to his teacher for his first residential, and honestly she couldn’t have been less interested!

Ha, yes, this. The vibe is normally ‘well you might think those things are an issue as a precious parent, but we know better’

serenghetti2011 · 12/06/2022 17:44

My kids teachers weee amazing for their residential 2. Eldest loved it 3rd son wasn’t happy or keen (excited to go) but got a bit homesick so I felt bad. They cared for him well but I still feel guilty my child didn’t enjoy it.

greenacrylicpaint · 12/06/2022 17:48

tbh it's difficult for teachers to strike a balance between overthinking parents giving too much information and those parents who need to convey life saving or otherwise critical information.

tbh most children thrive on residentials, even those (especially those?) where the parents are anxious about them going.

ipswichwitch · 12/06/2022 17:48

While I wholeheartedly agree with you OP, I have to say that while trying to prepare my autistic 8yo for his first residential, I’d appreciate it if the organising staff didn’t keep telling me he’ll be fine and not to worry. I’m trying to prepare them for what may happen when he “isn’t fine” and toolkits for how to deal with that. He masks at school to a degree, and the wheels come off once he’s home. He is a poor sleeper - there is no “tiring him out”, his sleep remains just as poor.

we’re doing our own trip to the place, and doing some of the activities with him before he goes with school to prepare him for what may come. If it goes badly we may have to pull him from the trip, or bring him home on the evenings. At least we’ll have an idea how he’ll manage

ChateauMargaux · 12/06/2022 18:29

I have three children with food allergies and intolerences...

'Yes Mrs Margaux, we understand your child's needs, we have communicated with the hosting venue, it is all under control.' When I was eventually allowed to speak to them, they had not understood and the only available option for breakfast for my 6 year old was black coffee. This happened again and again... in different forms. My kids came back hungry having not been able to fill up on bread and feeling exposed when their meals are either late or early. All of these things can be fixed with dialogue and in some cases were.. but in many cases the conversation was not allowed to happen.. in one case I was told, if my son's needs were so complex, it was better he didn't come... it was a bullying tactic to get me to back off and let my son sink or swim. The teacher didn't believe his needs.