How important is it for a 4 year old to be able to write well?

[FuriousGeorge]

DD1 was 4 on 29th August,so only just got into school by the skin of her teeth.However,she loves it,can read already & has no problems with the behaviour/social side of things.

Her teacher asked me if I can pop in after school & see her on Friday,re DD1's writing.She says it is nothing to worry about,but she wants to see what we can both do to help her.She is a great teacher but only qualified recently,she is being assessed by County Hall because she is new & wants to see me after she has seen the County Hall woman,so she can discuss it with her first.

I'm happy to do all I can to help DD1,but a bit of me feels that 4 is a bit young to be worrying about writing ability.She does have an 8 digit name & can write it so you can understand what is written,but it isn't as good as the other children's writing {some of whom are nearly a year older than her].On a good note,her teacher says she is blown away by DD1's reading ability

My mum feels that perhaps the teacher is bringing it up more because she is new to the job & is worried that there might be consequences,than because it is a real issue.DD1 is very bright & grown up for her age,& sometimes I have to remind myself that she is only 4 & not older.Perhaps the school do the same thing?

Any thoughts?
Thankyou

A four year old?

14yo = important to be able to write well.

4yo = important to play well with lego, climb things, run around, look at books and enjoy drawing and craft activities.

Really don't panic. Writing even with a very advanced reader in Reception is a complete drag, as they just struggle to integrate all the skills involved. Lags a long, long way behind reading ime. By end Y1/beginning Y2, it will all have clicked. If they can't write comprehensible sentences reasonably easily by start of Y2, it's time to take action.

Blimey. Ds1 is going to be five in May, and cannot write at all - a backwards and very sloooow 'P' sometimes, when he can be bothered (first letter of his name) and can do X's on a card but he just isn't interested. We were given a handwriting book to practise in but he didn't want to do it.

I am impressed that your daughter can read already and also write her name

I'm sorry not to be more use on the advice front though.

Btw my youngest dd was 4 just before Christmas and cannot write at all. Not a bit. I am not bothered. I'd rather they spent time at school/nursery doing lovely creative activities than filling in ruddy phonics worksheets. Grrr.

DS1(4) is bright as a button but can't write a single letter yet. School still getting them to roughly colour in the phonic sound letters.

Not that important. I hope. Because my 4 yr old is only just grasping the basics of phonics, let alone writing the damned graphemes!

I think that the NQT is quite justifiable keen to make an impression but has an unrealistic set of expectations.

I think your Mum is spot on in her assessment of the situation.

It's such a shame when tiny children are pushed too hard, too soon, academically.

And can be detrimental to their enthusiasm and self esteem.

Stand your ground.

Perhaps it is the balance of reading and writing that is the issue though? Not being able to write at barely 4 perfectly normal but having a reading age of say 7 and not being able to write might suggest a problem of say co-ordination or something.

Not necessarily -- dd1 was reading Mr Majeika etc by the time she turned 5 (didn't start freakishly early, she just learnt fast) and was still struggling to write.

I think it's the integration of the abstract decoding with the motor skills needed for writing that causes the problem. I just left it alone, and a year later all was fine.

I honestly wouldn't worry, your dd sounds like she is doing well. My dd is 4 and in reception, and is struggling with writing too. Her reading isn't great either but she is interested and starting to learn. Got to go and see the teacher myself later though, I think it's bound to be about dd's behaviour in class. She could have done with starting school later I think (also summer born but not mature for age either).

My DS was 4 in September, I am told he is very bright but can't even be convinced to pick up a pencil most of the time, let alone learn to write. Thankfully he hasn't started school yet but I wouldn't worry about a 4 yo who can't write.

DS1 can't write very well but is an excellent reader and has been getting help with handwriting since half way through year 1. I would say it is too soon to be really worried but it is good that the teacher is noting it now.

There are other ways of improving handwriting other than putting pen to paper, by encouraging fine motor skills in other ways. One example given to us was putting pegs on a piece of cloth, doing Lego, doing puzzles and playing sorting games with small pieces or using those Hama beads to make pictures.

I really wouldn't worry or push at all. Ds has just started reception - late summer birthday - and there is a HUGE range of abilities amongst his year group. Some can write really well (one of his friends wrote all her own Christmas cards to the other nursery kids) and some struggle to write their own names. Ds is somewhere in the middle.

Only thing that would concern me is if your dd gets frustrated by the gap between reading and writing - if it bothers her that her understanding is so far ahead of her physical ability to write?

I agree with Humphreycushion and think your Mum has been very astute.

I agree with humphreycushion too. Go with your gut instinct and let the teacher know you are not worried and don't feel any need to push DD to write.

4 yr olds don't need to write do they?

DS2 is also a late August birthday and was reading very well in Reception. His writing was also comparatively very poor and really still is (Y2 now - and I mean poor in terms of neatness, not accuracy). His teacher gave him some spelling words to make into sentences at home 'if he wanted to', both to stretch him and to give him writing practice. Perhaps that's the sort of thing your DD's teacher is thinking of.

DD was 4 mid September - so she is just in Nursery - she can read her name and simple words like DAD, she tries to write her name and can do half the letters but nothing else - so there is only roughly 2 weeks between my DD and OP's DD and I think that the level they are at is just right for their age - so I wouldn't worry.

NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL!!!!!!

Sorry for shouting, but I feel very strongly about this. Tell the teacher that you dd will learn to write in her own good time, and you are not prepared to do anything at all to push her. Very few children can read or write at all at this age. She should be playing,playing,playing........there are years ahead of her for writing.

I agree with pp that your mother sounds spot on in her assessment. Your DD is 4 years 4 months -- I don't see that her writing can be a problem at that age, really.

it's completely and utterly unimportant - if you and the teacher try to 'help' ie push her into doing it earlier than she wants to you'll put her off for years

she sounds fantastically advanced as it is and sorry but the teacher sounds a bit clueless and as if she has completely unrealistic expectations

Hooray! Thankyou all for your help.I think that at 4 years old,she should be running around pretending to be a magic princesswhen she gets home,like she was today,not practising writing.

I spoke to a couple of other mums at pick up time they thought it was a bit of an over reaction on the teachers part too.DH agreed & said to stand my ground on Friday & remind them how very young she is.

After dinner we sat at the table doing some colouring in & I asked if she could write 'poo',her favourite word at the moment.She did it as I sounded it out.We then did 'trump' & 'wee'.She thought it was hilarious & I am very tempted to take her efforts in on Friday & wave them under the teachers nose.Perhaps they are going about it in the wrong way-most 4 year olds,if they had to write,would probably rather write something rude than something like 'cat'.

I shall let you know what gets said on Friday.

Well,I saw the teacher as arranged,but she had forgotten to ask the County Hall lady for advice.She apologised & we had a quick chat about the handwriting question.She said that she may be expecting too much of DD1,as she is very,very bright.Her only concern was that DD1 might get frustrated at not being able to write down the things that she wanted to express.

I pointed out that one of the reasons she struggled to write her name might be that the pre school the whole class attended were very hot on them beig able to write their names before starting reception.I disagreed with this policy & therefore never pushed DD1,whilst all the other mums did.One told me she spent the entire summer holiday making her dd practice her name & regretted it now.

DD1's teacher was horrified & said there was no point in getting them to write if they can't understand what they are writing.We agreed to do a bit of practise at home,simple things like joining the dots to help with dexterity,but not to push it.At 4 she should be playing,not doing homework,which her teacher agreed with.

Otherwise,she was very pleased with DD1,she said that,despite being the youngest, in everything but writing,she is way ahead of the rest of the class & has a phenomenal memory for information.

So thanks everyone who posted,for backing me up.It gave me the confidence to deal with it properly instead of getting myself in a muddle like I usually do.

I think a lot depends on the circumstances of your child. Not being able to write is not a problem at four, but are there other fine motor skill difficulties? For example can she manage to pick up objects using a pincer grip.

At that age my son had absolutely no pencil control whatsoever. Yet our community paediatrian was no way worried.

My son has a huge gap between his writing ablity and other ablities. It causes huge frustration and in year 1. We have had a lot of sucess with Write from the start. See thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2407/377065

If the situation has not improved then prehaps its something to consider for the summer holidays. Personally I think your daughter needs time rather than additional help at the moment. She has two terms left in reception, its not as if she is in year 1.