Promoting kindness in PTA / Friends of X School

[Senderandme]

Hi all. I’ve recently joined a new school and their PTA / Friends of X School. I’ve noticed that some parents (mothers mainly) are not very kind to each other. All of these people are volunteering their time for a good cause, but pettiness keeps creeping in. Has anyone been successful in setting positive ground rules in a PTA so everyone feels valued and supported?

Pettiness over what? Competitiveness?

Good luck with that!

If you are new my only suggestion would be to go in and help and don't get involved with arguments until you really understand the dynamics.

In my experience it can be really hard interesting steering a group of volunteers who have totally different backgrounds in committee work, different outlooks and different understanding of trying to make a profit. Some people sound very helpful until you realise they are pushing things for others to do...

If you’re a new member I’d say it isn’t your place to police it. All you can do is model good behaviour yourself and don’t get drawn into anything that is petty. Groups of volunteers are difficult, they are giving up their time and helping out but if anyone is displaying inappropriate behaviour the Chair should call them out on it.

I think one thing that helps is being really clear about what the PTA is for and what it isn't for. It's a school PTA, it isn't the UN.

If people are falling out badly over cake sales (if that is the sort of thing your PTA does) then this is probably symptomatic of the atmosphere within the school. The Chair should sort this out. Failing that, the Head (although I expect that the Head hates a bickering PTA).

If the falling out is getting you down, could you have a call with the Chair? You want to be kind and helpful but you can't carry on if everyone keeps bitching about each other?

I’m not sure that is the Chair’s role though, is it? Maybe I should just put up with it. I don’t know why everyone can’t be a bit nicer to each other!

It is definitely the Chair’s role (albeit one of the more difficult ones). I am Chair and I would see this as my problem.

It's that kind of pettiness which made me step away from the PTA at our school 7 years ago. I've been asked several times, by several different chairs, since to rejoin... not a chance!
(I'm now a governor at the secondary - I'm not going to saybtuats easier but...)

Who is actually being petty? The people on the PTA itself?