Reception teacher never has anything positive to say

[Whatwouldyoudo41]

My son is 6, he has all sorts of special needs and has stayed in reception for another year to allow him to catch up. He’s had some pretty intensive help from speech and language and SEND specialist teachers over the past year and I’ve seen such a massive change in him. He’s gone from not knowing a single letter sound in September to writing and reading (basic) sentences, which is huge progress for him.
I'm just feeling really sad for him as the teacher only ever makes negative comments, both in his reading record and in person. She’s never once acknowledged the progress he has made and it’s really starting to upset me. I know that DS, like most children, thrives on praise but I’m not sure she ever gives it, I’ve certainly not heard her, it’s always “he struggles with this” and “needs to try harder” etc.
DH reckons she is just focusing on next steps all the time and what he should be working toward to catch up with his peers, but I think my son is starting to get a bit demoralised too as he’s going from enthusiasm to disinterest as he is feeling like he’s always failing (Although we give him loads of praise at home). Should I speak to her about this or is it normal for teachers not to lavish praise?!

I'm a teacher and had similar with my child's teacher in nursery (he was awaiting a diagnosis of asd). I brought it up in a meeting with the head that I had never had anything positive about my 3 year old child said to me at pick up.

She was mortified and apologised and was much better from then on!

Please advocate for your little boy!

Thanks @Mammyloveswine , that’s good to know from a teachers point of view. I will definitely say something. She probably doesn’t even realise she’s doing it.

Advocate - not good enough. My lovely DS, now 11, had his self esteem properly wrecked by a teacher like this when he was only 3. He went from a happy, enthusiastic little boy to thinking he was crap at everything. It's taken years to build up his confidence again.

Definitely bring this up. Children like you DS deserve praise even more than your average child, but spme teachers get bogged down in the issues rather than the progress. As a teacher in a specialist school, I often had new parents need quite overwhelmed when I greeted them at the end of every day with positive comments. So many of them had been greeted every day at mainstream school with what their child had failed at/had done wrong.

I am a reception teacher and honestly I always find something positive to say, I do fall in love with all of my pupils a bit mind! I am genuinely so proud of the progress they make and celebrate all of their achievements!

My sons current teacher is fantastic-she honestly loves the bones of him and it is clear that she "gets" him! I'm sorry your child is not having the praise he do deserves!

As a former EYFS teacher I reckon she's in the wrong job. It's all about positivity and seeing each child's individual strengths and achievements and making each child feel like a little superstar. Nobody should be letting a 6 year old feel like a failure, whatever their academic strengths or educational needs are.

She may be praising him in school. I think sometimes teachers don't realise that actually the parents need to hear that praise and encouragement too. The bit that seems most important to communicate to parents might be the thing that needs working on, and they don't realise that that means you're only getting the negatives. And of course, if you're not hearing the positives, you don't have the chance to re-iterate those at home: "Miss S was really pleased with your writing today". She might have said it at school, but it carries more weight when they hear it again at home.

I remember a friend being on cloud nine after parents' evening, because "the teacher actually likes my son!" She had so often heard the negatives when she picked him up from school that she assumed he could do no right, and it was only at parents' evening that she got the more balanced picture.