Flexi schooling, what days to do? Or help with HE, maybe...

[FlllightAttendant]

Ds1 started school in September, no major problems but after half term he went full days and it was too much for him.

I went back to half days and he seemed better with it. Decided to try full days again this term, but again he is exhausted and has ended up having thurs and Fri off this week as it is just too much for him. (Ie. cross and tired and teary and a bit like a zombie - and I don't think, neither does his teacher, that there's any point him being there when he is like that!)

I am stumped as I don't know whether to revert to half days or just do say 3 full days a week, or which days if we do that, or whether to just give up till he's a bit older?

I'm antisocial and get cross with him if he's at home with me all day every day. I would love to educate him myself but I think he likes the other kids at school, and I am not good at providing that for him.

We enjoy learning stuff together though. I am wondering if it will get easier to have him home all day when he is a bit bigger, or if I should just admit defeat as it were and keep on with the school thing.

Any thoughts appreciated

You could flexi-school for three days, and maybe find a HE group near to where you live.

That way you could see which lifestyle suited you all best before making a decision re full time school or full time HE.

...Oh and I didn't like getting him at lunchtime as it meant wandering through school to the playground, finding him among all the other kids, then having to somehow get Ds1 to his classroom without hordes of shrieking children joining us, while carrying Ds2, and often interrupting a teachers meeting or similar...it was all very awkward and I think the teacher found it tricky as well.

Thanks HC - which days do you think would be best? I thought Monday, Weds and Friday...

Would have a good look at the school timetable, and make sure he gets to do his favourite things eg: art or PE or whatever.

Do they do most formal work in the mornings? Is the need to concentrate so hard part of what is tiring him out do you think?

I'm not sure tbh. We don't get to look at timetables and such...it is a very busy school and they just don't offer to show you things like that. There's barely time to speak to the teacher in the morning. So I have no idea what they do all day. (reception)

I guess it's worth asking. Anytime I say, 'Oh I think we might try full days' or something, or 'I will be picking him up at lunch today' she just says vaguely 'Ok' and we don't discuss it.

I know he likes mucking about with the others and would miss them...very outgoing, not like me...but the work doesn't interest him much. Not into writing/reading at all. Power rangers, yes

He would rather be doing his 'inventions' he says. But they do music/dance which he does mention, seems to like but I think it's afternoons.

I think I might do 3 days and see how it goes.

Good luck.

DS2 did reduced hours in YR.
It was all formalised though, with input from the Headteacher and the LEA.

Is the teacher definitely marking your DS as absent when you take him home?

Just thinking that he may be entitled to some extra support - maybe at school, or some children get some home tuition.

Or is he still 4 - in which case there isn't a legal necessity for the full-time education at all?

I don't know HC...he's still four though so maybe they just don't care?

Seems so little. High expectations as well...mind you I have those at home as well!

Ah well, as long as he's happy, that's the main thing.

Just don't want to think you're being diddled out of any extra support if you think it would help him.

They are so little to be doing full days aren't they?

My aunty has taught 4 and 5 year olds for over 30 years, and says she thinks of the new intake as 48 month old babies.

Puts it into perspective really.

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I like that HC They are little more than puppies...

Cod, we do nothing after school - I sit at home all day with Ds2, mainly on Mumsnet, and then we go to get Ds1 at 3.30, he comes out, sits in the car, eats the cake I have got him to 'perk him up' ha ha and falls asleep as soon as he reaches the sofa.

Hmm.

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I think he eats, he has a sticker on some days saying he cleared his plate...gawd knows the other days. Fussy eater or forgets to eat at home!
(too busy inventing)

We all go to bed around 8/8.30 in the holidays, or when he was on half days.

Now he sleeps from 4 till about 8 and then wakes up briefly, gets upset because it's too late to do much inventing, and crashes out again once we are upstairs.

I feel as though I never see him!

what's he eating for breakfast? That might affect how he is later on in the day (naturally as a MNetter you don't have sugary cereals in the house - ShrinkingViolet ignores the box of Cocopops on her breakfast table...). Something oat-ey or protein-ey might give some more "oomph"?
If you did half-days, how about collecting after lunchtime play, where there woudl be less disruption? TBH it sounds like you need to make a formal appointment with his teacher for after school, and sort somethgin out between you (and make sure it's official, as once he's 5 it will need to be).

It doesn't sound normal to sleep from 4-8 for a 4 year old boy.
Have you taken him to the GP? perhaps he is anameic?

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Thanks...when I can get him to eat breakfast it is usually either porridge (made on stove) or puffed wheat type stuff, (yes with honey) or toast with PB. He also has a drink of warm milk.

Maybe he is going to be late - it's crept earlier on and off since school began, as he stopped having the afternoon sleep and thus was much tireder in the evening.

I wonder if he could be anaemic but actually I think he s probably just the same as most other receptioners - all the mums I know have said 'so and so is soooo tired' but a lot of them work and aren;t bothered about their little ones being at school as they assume it just has to be that way and is for the best - in some ways it is a good thing, Ds enjoys most of it. But I do think they are all very tired.

I might try the 7pm suggestion and see how it goes.

SV, thanks, I was picking him up after lunchtime play, or towards the end of it - it was quite difficult!

I'm going to ask the teacher tomorrow what she reckons to the 3 day plan, and give that a try. That way he has a day between to recover and hopefully will be more ready to go back the day after.

I'll let you know how it goes!

sorry going to bed late, not 'be'!

8-8:30 sounds late for a reception child, though presumably if he is sleeping a lot during the day he isn't that tired. Mine have to be awake for 7am so they're usually in bed by 7/7:30. In terms of an after-school snack - I would go for something with some carb and protein - say a ham sandwich. He may be getting a sugar blast and feeling sleepy as a result of that (though obviously not all cake is that sugary but it might still be worth a try!).

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Sympathies. Dd1 only started this week but is totally shattered. She has been in bed at 6.30 this week and will be in bed at 6 tonight as she is so grumpy today and the idea of a full school week this week starting off with her so tired will finish us off I think. Me as well as her. They are so small to be coping with this I think. Good idea on the snack thing though. Dd1 was awful when I collected her on Fri but perked up as soon as she had a drink and a snack when she got home. I am going to take a banana in now to hand to her at the door !

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