Poor attendance letter

[Inkdrinker]

Hey,

Today my eldest who is 10 came home with a poor attendance letter. Admitting, the kids have had a lot of time off school. We've all had covid, multiple sickness bugs and she was struggling severely with anxiety over school which I did give her a day off for.

I was shocked to see that her attendance was 79% but she was off school for a week with covid. The letter states the educational welfare officer will be keeping an eye on the attendance.

Obviously, I understand how important attendance is for a child's learning but I don't feel comfortable sending her into school if she is quite clearly unwell. Do I need to be concerned about this letter? I'm now worrying about social services and all sorts 😐

[cansu]

Yes you need to send your child to school. You shouldn't be giving her days off for anxiety.

[FlappyCats]

Don't worry, it's a standard auto-generated letter. My DS used to have lots of time off because I refused to send him in when he was ill. I got those letters a few times and I was a parent Governor. 😅

[WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe]

Attendance is important of course but your her parent and if she needs time off she needs time off (yes even on occasion for anxiety) I keep my son off when he is overwhelmed and struggling and I was an attendance officer in a very past life!

[WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe]

**you’re

[Inkdrinker]

@cansu

Yes you need to send your child to school. You shouldn't be giving her days off for anxiety.

She had one day off for anxiety.
Mental health is just as important as physical health.

[kitcat15]

79% is very low🙄

[FlappyCats]

I've been a teacher for 30-something years and think this "send them in at any cost" nonsense is damaging. You know your child. You know whether the absence is genuine or not.

[Inkdrinker]

@FlappyCats

Don't worry, it's a standard auto-generated letter. My DS used to have lots of time off because I refused to send him in when he was ill. I got those letters a few times and I was a parent Governor. 😅

Thank you.

I felt so ashamed reading the letter, I jonestly didn't realise the attendance had been affected so badly.

I'm just hoping we don't catch anymore sickness bugs for the remaining two months. It's been awful this year for bugs 😔

[LIZS]

20% absence is almost half a term.

[Inkdrinker]

@kitcat15

79% is very low🙄

I agree, I was shocked to see it was that low but then we have all been affected by covid and numerous sickness bugs. I don't keep her off just for the sake of it, I want her in school, trust me 😅

[Hucklead]

80% is the equivalent of a full day off, every single week of the whole year (Y5?) so far. It’s a huge amount of learning time lost and it will make next year harder.

[Inkdrinker]

@FlappyCats

I've been a teacher for 30-something years and think this "send them in at any cost" nonsense is damaging. You know your child. You know whether the absence is genuine or not.

I think it definitely can be but now I think I've been too lenient when they're ill, perhaps I should have sent her in. The school have been incredibly strict with covid guidelines, so every time she had a cough or temperature she had to have a covid test to make sure she was negative.

Her attendance has never fallen below 95% before with the exception of covid homeschooling of course x

[Inkdrinker]

Thanks everyone.

I honestly didn't realise that she had missed such a big chunk of school. I'm actually mortified, she has never had anything less than 95% attendance in school before now 😳

[ADarknessOfDragons]

I personally wouldn't worry. Your dc has been poorly. Yes, including the anxiety.

Are the absences all authorised?

And I am trying hard not to be ashamed. I have 3 DC. One is struggling with school based anxiety. Attendance last half term was 28%. The half term before 63%. The half term before 55%. So far this half term, 0%.... we have not had issues so far. We have worked with attendance officers (and been discharged due to it being an anxiety issue not an attendance issue). And yes, I'd love dc to be in school! My other 2 have zero attendance issues.

[fluffycereal]

@cansu

Yes you need to send your child to school. You shouldn't be giving her days off for anxiety.

This kind of attitude is what escalates mental health problems in young people. One of my DDs suffers awful anxiety and is on a part time timetable where she is only in school for 2 periods a day. She is 12. People need to be listening to children when they say they are not managing, not minimising their struggles as if they don't exist.

[ADarknessOfDragons]

Has it affected her attainment? Has it had a negative impact?

School would have spoken to you if so. Had they contacted you about attendance before you had this letter?

And Covid has a lot to answer for with absences!! I think if you're ill, you're ill. Again, I have 2 dc with great 98% attendance ish. And my dc who is currently struggling has had 100% in the past. School have mostly been very good with communication with us. Admittedly not heard from them in weeks now but we're all waiting on an EHCP being finalised now.

[ADarknessOfDragons]

Fully agree.

I forced my daughter in for months and years. A change of primary didn't help. A diagnosis (and waiting assessment for another) didn't help. And now we are at the point she is unable to attend due to school based anxiety which has impacted the whole family enormously and my very bright 11 yo dc is not engaging with any formal education at all. And I cannot see her starting a secondary in September. I wish I'd listened properly earlier.

[NikkiNoo81]

@cansu

Yes you need to send your child to school. You shouldn't be giving her days off for anxiety.

Anxiety is an illness too she definitely shouldn't force her to school if she's anxious

[kagerou]

As long as you have genuine reasons and can back up woth drs notes its fine, one year at school my attendance dropped to 30% due to waiting for surgery - my parents got a few letters but as long as they had drs notes it never went further

[Happymum12345]

The very fact you are concerned shows that you care. Don’t give it another moments thought. I say this as a teacher who appreciates parents who keep their sick children at home. I hope you have a healthier rest of the school year!

[StaunchMomma]

I've heard that some of the MATs have decided to get tough on attendance (probably a government drive) and schools in the trust will probably have been told to send these out to all pupils under a threshold percentage.

Ours have issued a trust-wide ban on all requested time off. I don't see how they can enforce it however. What about eg family funerals?

I really wouldn't worry about it, OP. It'll be a general post-Covid attendance drive, probably.

I would be making sure yours do go in though, unless absolutely unavoidable. Especially if yours are secondary or if they are behind in any subjects. Missing over a fifth of the school year could cause longer term effects on their achievement.

[buckeejit]

Anxiety is valid & needs to be addressed. It's not a quick fix.

[Mumwantingtogetitright]

79% is very low.

DD's attendance has been dreadful this year, she has never had this much time off, ever. Unfortunately, a bout of covid earlier in the year (when 10 days isolation was still required) followed by a very nasty bout of chicken pox, meant that she had to have two extended periods off. Her attendance is currently at 91%, so your dd really must have missed an awful lot to have fallen as low as 79%.

There isn't much that you can do about it now, but if she is getting sick that often, it might be worth having a chat with your GP to try and find out why her immunity is so low.

[Mumwantingtogetitright]

Also, I don't know why everyone is fixating on the anxiety. The OP's dd had one day off for anxiety. That one day didn't cause her attendance to drop below 80% so it really is not the problem here.

[ObjectionHearsay]

We've struggled this year too OP. Were at 81% and I'm mortified!

It's been a mix of covid, not helped by Wales being slower than other nations to relax rules on household isolation and testing. And the job I do I was constantly forced into isolation awaiting PCR's and as a lone parent I couldn't get him to school. As I'd be breaking isolation.

2 bouts of DV.

1 day off because he refused to go because another child attacked him and the same child continues to attack him and other pupils, even urinated purposefully on one class mate (but that's a whole other thread and I do have sympathy for the child in question) but none the less my child after repeated attacks was too scared to return to school.

And then we had me bedridden with a 3 day migraine, I couldn't drive, couldn't walk, turn the lights on and couldn't get him to school (again lone parent with no support). I'll be honest I felt for DS on those days he's 7 and lived off a dilevroo order coming every night, and spent 3 days watching TV and bringing me glasses of water 😳