Dd1 started school this week. I knew I would be sad but actually I am totally and utterly miserable.

[VanillaPumpkin]

It is crap. She seems so small to go. I miss her. Dd2 misses her. She is exhausted and tired and angry and shouting lots. The mums who I was very chatty with at Nursery seem to be getting cliquey again (this is not actually happening but because I am feeling miserable and sad it seems like it to me as I am feeling excluded....). I feel I am being very pathetic as no other Mums seem to be struggling as much as I am with it all. Dd1 says she doesn't want to go and hates her uniform and shoes and head teacher and pe and ........
Anyway just having a rant and feeling sorry for myself. Tell me I will get used to it soon and to enjoy my time with dd2. Thank you.

Oh yes Pooka - selfish I know - but I hate the thought of being tied to the school run timetable for the next 12 years at least ..!!

Gosh Pooka, that could have been me writing that! I completely agree about being tried into the whole school year/timetable. My family live a 3.5 - 4 hour car journey away and I used to take dd1 out of nursery for long weekends without a second thought. I actually cried on the way home the last time I did it as I was just thinking to my self I won't be able to do this again and will be tied into the whole Friday night traffic and the mass exodus of school holidays. I guess that this is just the way it is but I can't help mourning that loss too. Dd1 is so whingey today poor thing, and poor me. She couldn't choose from two things to wear and is flopping all over the place. 6pm bed time tonight!
Thank you Smithagain and Counting for wise words too. I know you are right.

How did you get on today Pooka??

My eldest daughter is 18 and started school in 1994,my youngest DD is only 2 and will start school in Sept 2010. I have calculated that by the time she is 18 I will have done 30 years of the school run for my 4 DCs!

Blimey!! 30 years. All I can say is well done you!

Thanks Vanilla! It is a lifetime isn't it? The thing is I have nearly always had a child with me at home because of the gaps in ages,apart from a couple of years when DD2 went to school before my last baby arrived.
It will be a big shock to me when DD3 goes to school!

Yes. This makes part of me happy I just have two children so only have to deal with this twice. I really admire Mums of more than two because we have this crisis with dd1 and dd2 is being totally neglected really... well not quite, but she is just pottering along as always and hasn't batted an eyelid at starting nursery etc. I had a child free few hours this morning and kept panicking as I drove along that I had forgotten dd2 or left her behind somewhere It was weird.

I always compare it to feeling like I've lost a limb somewhere ....

Crikey, Silent Terror - and they say looking after children isn't really "work"!!!

Yes weird isn't it?
Picked dd up. Seems she didn't do PE as she was too 'angry'. Not sure what that means. I hate this lack of feedback. I have got her home and changed and snacked up and with a drink and then explained that what happened this morning must not happen again. We talked through together what would happen tomorrow and I asked her if she liked school and she said yes so I asked her to try and remember that. I said that I wouldn't come into the class room again, only the cloak room and she thought, and then asked if I would wave through the window, and I said yes of course but she must try to smile at me and if she was sad I would just have to go as I can't do anything about it, but that she will have a lovely day and I will be there to pick her up as usual......
Has been a horrid day. WILL be better tomorrow.
When I collected her she was refusing to walk and shouting at me, then wouldn't hold my hand crossing the road etc etc. Made me want to cry again, but I didn't. Just got her in car eventually and home...

Ah, that won't make sense. Just realised I posted this mornings disaster on another thread. I wrote this this morning:

'Dd1 worse than ever, screaming when I left and huge tantrum being quite physical with the TA trying to get out of the classroom. I was and and a bit as it was really bad. I left and then cried lots again. Feeling better now as had a peek from a distance when collecting dd2 (who has taken to Nursery like a duck to water thank goodness, it was only her second day today) and she was busy involved with something. I feel a serious talk coming on as she cannot behave like that again....please....

Hope you and your dd have a better day tomorrow VP - I really sympathise - it is a really stressful time ....

Thank you. MUCH better drop off today. It was raining and so they got to use their new umbrellas which of course was very exciting!
Dd1 and I both stuck to our words. I only went into the cloakroom and she waved with a huge smile on her face to me through the window. What a difference a day makes! She was up in the night last night with a bad dream so part of me expected the worst. She also said again she didn't want to go but I told her how bored she would be here with me and dd2 and she seemed to agree lol. I think she was testing me a bit. Fingers crossed this is a little turning point for us . I just have to get used to it now, and it is a nice feeling looking forward to getting her. I am quite excited to hear about her day today.

Sounds good VP

Another good drop off today, phew, despite her protests she didn't want to go this morning. Thanks!