Splitting triplets in 2 form entry

[Triple3Trouble]

We were always going to split the DC in primary school. We applied for a 3 form entry catholic school (3 classes of 30), a three form entry CE school (3 classes of 15 Y1 and 15 Y2 etc and reception was a funny one with 2 classes but it was only for a year and the classes mixed a LOT anyways). These were the only 3 form entry schools in town and we applied for a 2 form entry as a back up school (and the closest one).

So…… we got the 2 form entry. Still on waiting lists for the other 2 but I’m not going to hold my breath.

We are now struggling whether to split them or not. And If we split them, how?
The school have spoken to us and have made it clear it is completely up to us and if they stay together then there are opportunities to split them later on as the classes get mixed/move around in Y1, Y3 and Y5.

From previous experience with nursery (where they are now all split into different rooms) it is best to split them. I’m 99% convinced DD1 and DD2 were always being confused when together and DS has really come along on his own rather than being the quiet one who let his sisters do everything.

Our options are;

1. All together


2. DD1 and DD2 in one class and DS in another


3. DD1 (or DD2) and DS in one class and DD2 (or DD1) in the other.

I’m worried that splitting one on their own would be horrible to that one, maybe they would see it in the future as unfair or something, and the two who are together would have each other for support in a new environment which might give them a more positive first experience of school, I don’t know!? I’m so confused.

Wondering whether it’s best to have them together for YR and then figure out the split in Y1. I just don’t want to go backwards with any of them after all the progress they’ve made since October (when they were split into different rooms) which is why we wanted to split in the first place.

Keep them together, you can’t separate just one.

I have twins and they went into different classes from reception. One really struggled and I think she would have been much happier with her sister. However I’m not sure her sister would have liked that! It’s tricky.

I’ve heard lots of people call twins “twinies”. They don’t even use their names. They don’t see them as individuals. I would just guard against anyone seeing them as a single entity.

Thanks everyone! That’s really helped me think.

@Chilmark79 (and others who asked). Yes, the girls are identical.

@NeverDropYourMooncup @TooManyPJs , yes definitely on waiting lists and have appealed. Although I’m not getting my hopes up for the appeals because my three will take all classes over the 30 class size limit. LA aren’t hearing appeals until next month so there’s a bit to wait yet.

It’s great to hear off others who have twins/triplets. Yes, massive pain not to get either of the 3 form entry schools, but we will cope. @Africa2go, the school have been really brilliant and reassuring with the whole situation. They really do seem to know what they are talking about. I’m warming to the place I initially though of as just “the banker/the backup/the if we really have to school”.

Im leaning towards keeping them together in reception after reading the responses and splitting the later on as @chocolatepudandchocolatesauce suggested. I’ve really thought about the moving about so they all get a turn on their own and I can see that being a real solution.

@Triple3Trouble Best of luck to you in managing all the complexities of your trio. When people say twins are double trouble I always respond that they are at least double the fun, double joy and double luck. I hope for you is all these good things tripled.

I'd be very cautious of setting one up to be different, sibling jealous is rarely rational and can be very corrosive (I'm not a multiple, but one of four close in age). As a PP said, with 2 in 1 class and one in the other you'd have loads of parties where two would be invited to and one would be stuck at home. Similarly, you'd probably get the two who were together talking / laughing about shared experiences at school with a risk the other one feels left out.

School is a big unknown to them and they are still very little so I would also be wary of asking them to decide. For year 1, once they have the school experience to have some sense of what the implications of a decision are, then talking to them about it might be the way forward, or after a year in reception it might be obvious what the best plan is anyway.

I agree with things like parties - DD started school this time & we’d had 10 all class parties so far & a few more to come 🙈 And it is just her class, no others. Obviously, this will start to change as they get older and more solid friendships across classes maybe. But for Yr R, the all class thing is popular. I can’t imagine how left out one triplet would be if the other two had parties & they didn’t. Obviously you’d get vice versa as well but the other two would have each other. Plus you’ll be crazy busy ferrying them around at weekends!

There are twins in DDs class & one is good pals with my DD. The other far less. DD says they don’t often play together and they do seem to have distinctly different friendship circles.. but they always come out holding hands at the end of the day 🥰

The fact that the school remix the classes regularly is good news, I think, and so I'd be inclined to say leave them together in reception (makes parties, etc easier), and then talk to the school again about year 1. By that stage, you'll have a better idea of how the dynamics are working, and they'll also have begun to make friends, and it may be more obvious how to split them.

A friend's twins were originally going to go through the infants together, and be split at KS2, but it turned out they were part of a foursome, where the other two were closer to each other than either twin, so to split the twins meant splitting that friendship. They stayed together, and then were two of three going to the same secondary - I think mum advised the school on which would cope better if they wanted to split them.

Being able to separate triplets does sound like good grounds for an appeal, except that accepting an extra three pupils is so very unlikely. I guess if they could offer a place for one, the others would then be top of the waiting list, which might be enough if there's a bit of movement, but you wouldn't know until later on, and if it didn't work out you might have lost the third place at the original school. (I think the area where I grew up had a bit in the admissions that gave some priority to multiples - that would have been so helpful here!)

I don't have experience of multiples but the party point is really valid. We get soooo many whole class parties in reception. One weekend we had 4 party invitations!

If you split them not only do you have the disappointment of one triplet not invited to a party their siblings are going to, it also means you will get double the party invitations and every single weekend will be filled with parties that may also clash with each other. Don't do that to yourself!

Are they old enough to have a reliable opinion ? I think if there are opportunities to split later up the school I would keep them together in reception then let them be mixed up later ... if nothing else you can more easily blame it on school if the children object 😁.. ideally I would have liked my twins split after ks1 but it didn't work out due to lock down/school move etc and now I am very worried about how they will cope being split at secondary 🤷‍♀️