Ex changed preferences for school choice

[PrimarilyParented]

I have name changed for this so it can’t be linked to my other posts.

my DP and ex agreed on the school choice order for his youngest child. After the cutoff date his ex changed this order and the child has now been awarded a place at a school dp was happy to be second choice but is definitely not the better school and it means the child is at a different school to his siblings and there are now 3 different school drop offs to be made each day.

we know this was changed after the cutoff date as the ex told him she’d done it when she changed her mind and he contacted the LA to say he didn’t consent. They replied saying nothing would be changed unless there were exceptional circumstances as it was after the cut off and so he wasn’t worried. The LA’s guidance is clear that they won’t change the order of preference without good reason after January 15th and will require proof of this reason. There was no good reason (ex just stated she had changed her mind and they accepted this sometime in February).

Does anyone know if my DP has a case for an appeal based on the fact that the LA did not follow their own rules and changed the order of preference with no valid reason or proof required?

He can certainly try. Given that his ex has subverted their agreement, he may succeed but it is difficult to be sure.

Has he asked her why she changed the order? Surely that would be the first thing, and then they could have a discussion about putting the child on the waiting-list for the other school if they both reach agreement that it was the wrong decision.

She shouldn't have changed the order without consulting him - that was wrong - but she must have had a reason given the change is going to make her life harder too. Before going to court or anything like that, wouldn't it be best for them to discuss it?

@Goldbar trust me, he tried to talk to her. What he got in response was a lot of anger and nasty comments about him, with no real reason beyond the fact that she thinks it is the better school. Ultimately whatever her reasons, she did this behind his back because she knew he wouldn’t agree with them. They are both entitled to their opinions about the schools, they are entitled to disagree on what is best for their children (they have very different parenting styles and obviously differ in their views on lots of things and this is why they are not together). What they are not allowed to do is disregard the other parent and unfortunately this is not the first (nor do I believe it will be the last) time dps ex will disregard his.

@prh47bridge sorry to ask so many questions, but is my dp allowed to put his child on the waiting list for the original first choice even though he doesn’t have access to the application? He’s asked his ex to do this and she’s refused. I guess he can’t do this and even if he did that it would be acting unilaterally anyway, but it was their original preferred school and if he’s on the waiting list now then he may get a place before the appeal anyway since we think he’s likely to be very high up the priorities with a sibling link.

Even if they were offered a place, without the child benefit proof they'd not be accepted.

@ChoiceMummy child benefit doesn’t determine anything. Some LA use it as the determinant of the address, but the LA we are in does not use it as the sole determinant it’s based on the number of termtime nights based at each parents house, doctors addresses etc. Regardless, it doesn’t matter which address is put down and my ex is not quibbling that in any way.

Support I didn't see this sooner!

I'm afraid we're still in the middle of it. She won't discuss anything with us at all despite it being specified in the court order that we have to so the only way to resolve it is to go back to court.

Unfortunately it's also not the only difficulty, it goes far beyond that one thing.

That's the same clause we have but dsc's Mum is outright refusing to discuss it at all and pushing ahead with what she wants, so we have to go to court.

Not only does child benefit not always matter to the LA, sometimes court orders override that anyway regardless of the LA's policy.

Our court order states that the dsc's are not only with us 50/50 but RESIDE with both parents. Neither is classed as the resident parent and therefore decisions like this always have to be made together or return to court.

It was decided at the time of the original order that mum would claim CB as she had the lower income and my DH priorities the children's best interests above all else- but the legally reside with both parents, not mum.

(Just to add to what you've said!)

@HappilyHadesBound I’m sorry to hear it’s still so much stress for you even after a court order. You’re right that it’s not just this one thing, it’s part of a wider picture and exemplifies the way the ex views/treats my dp.

That is up to your LA. You need to ask them if they will allow him to do this.

Thankyou, they are being largely unhelpful at present as they only have email contact and have stopped replying after giving him the GDPR reason not to speak to him about the application.

What happens when neither parent claims cb 🤔 @ChoiceMummy

Tbh, it's unusual. But still many LAs require this information as evidence of main family home, to prevent one parent that does not have the child the most during the year, being able to get the child into a school in their area.

Let's be honest, it would be very unusual that the parents have 95 school nights each if that's how resident parent is viewed though some do still use 183+ as the measure. Which if most families counted their "5050" nights,. would realise they're close, but not 5050.

The accurate answer is that it depends on the LA. Most will go for the parent where the child spends most nights during the school week. If parents genuinely have 50/50 care, most allow the parents to choose which address should be used.

Which I said.

And I'd bet that when the op @PrimarilyParented you calculates they're not the resident parent nor as close to 5050 as they thought.

In the OP's case, it doesn't matter whether care is 50:50 or not, nor does it matter whether they are the resident parent.

And no, that isn't what you said.

@ChoiceMummy i think people know whether they are 50:50 or not and if anything he has his kids more often than his ex does (for various reasons) but he absolutely never fails to be with them when he has the opportunity (his 50% of the time) and rearranges everything to make sure he is. Not all fathers are deadbeats. I know many are but not all are and assuming they are when you don’t know the situation is unfair.

If the intention of mum is to move existing sibling, once youngest is registered at the school, they may become top of the waiting list, so the Dad might want to consider getting a court decision- particularly if the older sibling has support in place as if no EHCP, that is not guaranteed with a school move (which is far more important than any ofsted rating).

@Takeachance18 thanks, that’s good advice. He certainly will seek court intervention if she tries to move him.

That will be too late, he may already be on the waiting list and you get a week to decide to take a place

@Takeachance18 will he not be notified by the current school if his son is being taken off roll?

Only after place has been accepted and they are asked to transfer records, but they may not ask him, as they would assume he would know - it only takes one parent, to make the application (as in the younger child) and she has already said she intends to swap schools - he should look at the legal position and speak to citizens advice or other legal advice, so it doesn't have to be done as an emergency (if sibling is year 3 or older, then 30 infant class size rules don't apply and schools can take extra.

@Takeachance18 thanks. He intends to tell both school’s about her intention and that he does not consent to it so hopefully that would stop the application being processed at least.

Sadly that's another thing we found out to our cost. Despite knowing that we've objected to things (for very good reasons) both school and health services will take mums word for it regardless, because they only need one to consent, it doesn't have to be both. And the only way to stop those things is court.

We let the little things go for far too long and that's why we're now stuck with huge issues.