To separate?

[thejadedone]

My daughter is due to start school in September.

At nursery she has a best friend. They are inseparable, but it is a very intense friendship. This is often to the detriment of not including other children in play.

Speaking to the mum of the other child, their first choice is the same and we are both in catchment.

Nursery have said that they put forward recommendations to the schools on classes - the school is a 2 form intake. My preference is to ask for DD to be separated as I want her to play with other children and to form other friendships. I know they are only 4 and things change, but I am not sure them going into the same class together is a good idea and I would like to encourage independence from this friendship,

Am I over-reacting?

It's quite normal for friendships to be quite close at that age. Unless it's volatile or problematic in some other way (possessiveness or jealousy), I think having a friend when transitioning to a new school can be help with settling in. Schools are pretty good at encouraging children to mix in my experience so as they get older their horizons will naturally expand.

They fall out a lot and the other week they had to be separated and sent to separate rooms. It can be quite volatile.

I think you should go with your gut feeling. They will still see each other at break times, but it would benefit your DD's social development to be 'free' to explore new friendships in the classroom.

I had this exact issue with my DD in nursery. The nursery teacher recommended DD and her friend were placed in separate reception classes and it has been the making of both of them. DD was totally distracted in class, constantly watching what friend was doing and copying everything she did, but now she is not in the classroom she is focused on her own work and doing really well. She is friends with everyone in her class and will choose to play with a variety of children at break times - sometimes the old best friend, sometimes not. They are still good friends but being separate in class has enabled DD to find her own identity and blossom.

I would separate, I did the same for my son, now he’s made friends with kids in his class and sometimes plays with other friend at break, but less so now

Thank you - reassuring responses. I will go with my gut and request that there are placed in separate classes.