My family moved recently from Australia to an Asian country (being vague for privacy reasons!) for work. Ds1 is 6 and Ds2 is 4. Both entered the new school half way through the year and it’s been a bit of a struggle.
6 year old DS had a very good group of lovely friends at his old school, whom he’d been through preschool and kindy together. Two best friends he adored. Always very social and well liked. Was excited from the day he found out we would be moving. Said he’d miss his friends but would make new ones. Very pragmatic for 6!
The school he went to was a French English bilingual school so when looking at options, we decided against the usual international English speaking schools and instead enrolled him in the international French school. He enjoyed his old school and its learning environment so we wanted to maintain consistency. We also valued bilingualism at a young age.
Well, settling in hasn’t been a breeze. I’ll say right up front that I know I’m projecting. I moved a lot when I was young and not being accepted at schools changed me from a little extrovert to an introverted teen and adult who still gets social anxiety. And I’m completely paranoid this will change my DS fundamentally.
DS seems happy. Energetic and excited about school. But he’s not really making friends and it kills me. Firstly the new school is very heavy on French so that’s been an adjustment. While the old school was bilingual and he speaks good French, the playground language was English. Here it’s French. Combined with joining halfway through the year and mask mandates at school, my little social boy isn’t finding it super easy to find his place. And then throw in being in a totally new country. He says he spends a lot of break time on his own observing. He doesn’t seem upset about it, though I do wonder how he really feels.
I’m trying really hard not to question him too much and make it so issue but knowing how social he is and how much he adored his old friendships, I know there is a part of him that, if not sad now while everything is fresh and exciting, will start feeling it soon. His teacher says he’s settling very well in class but that he chooses to sit alone at break even when other kids invite him to play ( at the teachers request).
I’m not sure what I’m looking for. Reassurance that I’m not ruining my kid’s personality? All I want is to just go back home to where he was happy and liked. But that’s silly. I also worry we haven’t made the right choice with the school -he’s a smart kid who likes to be challenged at school but I do wonder if we removed one challenge (French) and just put him in an English speaking school, friendships would have been a little easier.