Prep school or local primary?

[Thequeenhascovid]

A question that has been asked a thousand times.

We've been offered a place at a non selective primary for our DS (4). He currently is happy in his school but they've pointed out some areas we need to focus on (socialise with more kids and attention).

We've been transparent about this with the prep school and they said they will be accommodating.

We can afford it but we will have to make cuts. None of us have been through the private sector.

I have a friend with a child at the prep school and seems to be very happy.

But I'm worried that he will always be in a little bubble and won't get to mix with people from different backgrounds.

We've got two weeks to accept the offer but at this point I'm not sure

I don’t think that there’s many 4 year olds (young in the year!) that don’t have the same “focus” areas, they’re still so young. I absolutely wouldn’t let those comments make you think private is necessary.

Personally, if you’ll have to make cuts, I’d hold off going private if you’re happy with the current state school generally. You’ll have a feel for how the school is by now and whether it’s a “nice class” etc.

I agree with what you said but the school stressed us out saying there is something wrong with him.

I've requested a meeting with the senco but haven't heard back. He's happy in his school but I have a feeling he is being judged as he is different from the other kids (although very bright). I know other schools might be different and there are amazing state schools but unfortunately we don't have many in our area and we aren't in the catchment for them.

Are you saying that the school is suggesting that he has SEN? Most parents evenings aren’t 100% positive feedback so don’t look into comments too much if it wasn’t clearly meant that way.

My son (also 4 and in reception) has also had the parents evening where both of those things were mentioned and there’s absolutely no suggestion of SEN.

Either way, I’d still be keen to see what the current state school offers in terms of support rather than immediately stretching for private based on one conversation.

We are planning to send our DD to private school, but will be starting her off in the state primary first. We are looking to move her around Y4 over to the private sector. Financially we are not quite in a position to start from reception, but if we were, then my preference would be to start her off privately too. Smaller class sizes, greater focus etc.

If your DS is in Reception and his state school have noticed some possible pointers to SEN, I would be inclined to keep him where he is for now. A school that is proactive in noticing possible SEN is probably a school that will be proactive with getting him on the list for assessment, and also to tailoring learning to his needs should it be necessary.

The prep school has said that they will be accommodating to his possible SEN, but there have been plenty of threads on these forums about how SEN children are sometimes 'managed out' of prep schools, or charged extra for additional support which would be free in a state school.

He is on the NHS waiting list and we did see a private doctor who in the consultation diagnosed him with adhd and ASD (there's another thread on that on MN). We have told the school but we are reluctant to accept this diagnosis for various reasons.

The other option is to wait and see how he gets on and move him if we need to. The only thing I like about the private school is that they offer lots of extra curricular activities e.g. swimming, DT etc. We do go to after school activities but it takes him a long time to get used to the surroundings and sometimes findings the big class sizes really challenging. That's why I think the private might be better for him but then again I agree with what has been said on thread as well