Independent vs state primary after nursery at independent

[twominds18]

DS (4) is currently in the nursery class attached to an independent school in walking distance from my house. I sent him there as it was cheaper than the standard nurseries (and a more rounded IMO) and also close to my house. I fully intended to send him to a local state primary.

Fast forward a couple of years he is very settled and doing really well in the nursery class. He is a fairly shy child and I feel the nurturing environment has been very good for him. I did not anticipate that he would become so attached to the school. He fully believes he will be walking across the corridor into the reception class

I did not like the closest state primary when I visited but liked a couple of others in catchment. But further away and involve a faffy school run by car (and wraparound care more difficult - I work full time).

I could just about afford the school fees but it is a big commitment obviously. WWYD? Am I being a bit precious about moving him or are there genuine advantages to keeping him at rge independent school. It feels like a momentous decision!

He is 4. He will adapt really quickly to a new school. If you can “only just afford” the fees I would move him to a state school you like. All schools have a lot of experience dealing with timid children in the early years.

Save the money you would have spent and either use it for tutoring or private schooling when he is older or spend it on family experiences. IME private primaries do not offer a great deal more than state schools in academic terms - particularly at 4- 9. They market themselves on wrap around care, clubs at school etc. Most parents do not need these.

We are in a similar position and having decided to stay on for reception. The opportunities are leagues above our local state school. The state is also one form entry and often won't fill a class. It's an area of low free school meals so won't have significant funding. The private school is 3 form entry with max 14 in a class with a teacher and TA. Wrap around care is 7:30-6 including clubs such a swimming and gymnastics.

@twominds18

DS (4) is currently in the nursery class attached to an independent school in walking distance from my house. I sent him there as it was cheaper than the standard nurseries (and a more rounded IMO) and also close to my house. I fully intended to send him to a local state primary.

Fast forward a couple of years he is very settled and doing really well in the nursery class. He is a fairly shy child and I feel the nurturing environment has been very good for him. I did not anticipate that he would become so attached to the school. He fully believes he will be walking across the corridor into the reception class

I did not like the closest state primary when I visited but liked a couple of others in catchment. But further away and involve a faffy school run by car (and wraparound care more difficult - I work full time).

I could just about afford the school fees but it is a big commitment obviously. WWYD? Am I being a bit precious about moving him or are there genuine advantages to keeping him at rge independent school. It feels like a momentous decision!

As a working parent, DS will be so much better off at private and staying local is always a bonus.

The formative early years are so important, I know the mantra is state till eight ( more like state primary then indie school at 11 which is fine, but for me that extra care, better after school clubs and trips and smaller classes, leave a deep impression for later life.

Yes, private primary is a luxury, all private school is a luxury that a tiny portion of the population use, but if your sums work, its your money , go for it.

@newsibling123 totally agree. The formative years are so important for lifelong learning and development. You only have to read the threads on here about state schools having to close earlier and not enough teaching staff so admin staff having to step in etc. the extracurriculars and wrap around childcare are amazing at DSs school and he has opportunities he would never get in state eg specialist teachers. If you can afford it, keep him there

@RandomThought96

He is 4. He will adapt really quickly to a new school. If you can “only just afford” the fees I would move him to a state school you like. All schools have a lot of experience dealing with timid children in the early years.

Save the money you would have spent and either use it for tutoring or private schooling when he is older or spend it on family experiences. IME private primaries do not offer a great deal more than state schools in academic terms - particularly at 4- 9. They market themselves on wrap around care, clubs at school etc. Most parents do not need these.

I'm not too worried about the academics. I agree there is probably not much difference vs good state school at this age. It is the pastoral care and wraparound that gets me. It really is very good. DS doesn't really know the difference between school hours and out of hours. Also I am a single parent so being able to drop at 8.30am (state schools start later so might miss 9am meetings) and pick up at 5pm is valuable. OTOH everything is dependent on my single income. I am so torn,

OP, I would add as a single parent, obviously depending on financial situation, bursaries open up once your DC gets to senior school ( There may be provision at the private currently after 7+, its worth asking.

pay terms fees pay monthly in 4 lots over the term , using second hand uniform sales, pushing back on every trip where parents have to pay, it can all help if fees are a worry as a single parent.

@newsibling123 and @Fretfulmum some very good points thanks. Crazy thing is that I live on the same road as the school and other folks are travelling an hour each way. It suddenly feels like a lot to give up (having made a firm decision about leaving several weeks ago).

I will look into bursaries also. There's nothing at this age though.

@twominds18 , ask about the 30 hours funding that may go towards the Reception fees. You need to ask the school office directly.

Any 4 year old will be attached to the school he's in - particularly as the narrative will be all about moving up to "big school".

I assume you've applied for the local state schools and are waiting to see where you get a place? Have you asked about wrap around care. Many state schools provide breakfast and after school clubs, which will fix your wraparound problem.

Does the nurturing environment that you're so keen on, continue up the school? How does it compare to pastoral care offered at the state schools?

I think I'd want a pretty good reason to make a decision that I could "just about afford" - especially with all the price increases coming up. And school fees tend to go up more than inflation too.

I moved my DS from private to state. I agree the big classes in state is a negative, but there where more of them in the nursery so it's not so shocking for them. There are after school clubs at our state school and after school care at ours via a walking bus. He has coped fine with the change.

One of the girls that stayed has struggled, because she is the youngest and the few others in her very small are very academic. When I spoke recently to her mum she said she feels she gets left behind because it's a very pushy environment and they are working a year ahead of the state schools. Apparently all the other have Sept/ oct/ November birthdays and she's a summer born. So personally I feel for boys, this pushy environment is a disadvantage early on, as boys often take a bit longer for writing. They just need the time to develop.

I suppose it depends on what your nursery is doing. Has he learned the abc phonics and to write them lower case already? They had at our nursery and DS wasn't ready for it.

It is a massive financial commitment.

If you model out 5-10% fee increases across primary can you still afford it by the end?

What will you have to give up to do so?

@pawcontrol I need to consider this. They have definitely pushed them into learning phonics etc., addition and subtraction, all the stuff I imagined would be happening in reception at the earliest. His writing is very poor though (but he's still 3...). He's not aware at the moment but I don't want him to feel he's being left behind. It is a very minimally selective school so I would hope there would be a range of abilities?

His writing is very poor though (but he's still 3...)

Many boys do not develop the fine motor mechanisms they need to write until they are around 5. It can be hugely frustrating for them to try to write before this time, not least because they see that many of the girls can manage it but they can not.

Many pre -prep schools try to accelerate children’s learning because they want to feed into academically selective preps. They do teach the children some skills earlier than a state school would. That is in the school’s best interests as it allows them to boast about exit destinations. It is not necessarily in the interests of the individual children.

I would be much more impressed at a private prep introducing a foreign language at 3 (through music, play etc) than a school trying to teach three year olds to write.

When do the state school places get notified ? Is it at Easter ?

I personally prefer to walk, having driven to the private school and the parking issues despite large in grounds car park. I also think it's good for the kids, be that the nearest state school or the private if close. They get to know the area and their friends are nearby if at state.

Our state school starts at 8.35 am

The issue with private is the fees increase each school year and also with inflation. So whilst year R is affordable year 7 is double the cost.

Also if you have said you will stay on don't get caught out with the terms notice if you change your mind, because you will have to let them know you aren't staying by the end of this term, which is prob this week in private schools ?

Our private school only took 15 hours funding and yes that comes off fees until age 5.

Does the state primary have breakfast club? I’ve noticed that all my local

Primaries now offer this. Your just being able to afford the fees is a bit concerning, it’s easier to change now rather than a couple of years down the line.

His writing is not poor. It's at an appropriate level for a 3 year old (where not being able to write at all is perfectly normal). I agree that looking at how he will be supported is very important. Some private schools expect all children to work to a particular level and don't deal with outliers very well (not saying your DS is) and manage them out.

@pawcontrol

When do the state school places get notified ? Is it at Easter ?

I personally prefer to walk, having driven to the private school and the parking issues despite large in grounds car park. I also think it's good for the kids, be that the nearest state school or the private if close. They get to know the area and their friends are nearby if at state.

Our state school starts at 8.35 am

The issue with private is the fees increase each school year and also with inflation. So whilst year R is affordable year 7 is double the cost.

Also if you have said you will stay on don't get caught out with the terms notice if you change your mind, because you will have to let them know you aren't staying by the end of this term, which is prob this week in private schools ?

Our private school only took 15 hours funding and yes that comes off fees until age 5.

Just after Easter. I have checked with the school about last day for giving notice and it is the day after. Nail biter.

@RedskyThisNight

Any 4 year old will be attached to the school he's in - particularly as the narrative will be all about moving up to "big school".

I assume you've applied for the local state schools and are waiting to see where you get a place? Have you asked about wrap around care. Many state schools provide breakfast and after school clubs, which will fix your wraparound problem.

Does the nurturing environment that you're so keen on, continue up the school? How does it compare to pastoral care offered at the state schools?

I think I'd want a pretty good reason to make a decision that I could "just about afford" - especially with all the price increases coming up. And school fees tend to go up more than inflation too.

There is wraparound at the state schools. But one has 15 after school places for 60 kids in reception so is massively over-subscribed. And nothing for school holidays unlike the private school.

I might need breakfast club for state schools because the start times are nearer 8.45- 8.50am (and I'd have to drive) which is frustrating as I would only need 15 mins. The private school will take them from 8.30 and is only a short walk away so easily home by 8.40am.

"Wrap around care is 7:30-6 including clubs such a swimming and gymnastics."

Our state school wrap around care is 7:15-6pm, also with the same clubs and a heck of a lot of other additional opportunities - that we don't have to pay for. It's an excellent school with an outstanding reputation- as are the other 6 state primary schools that we are also in the catchment for.

We used a private prep nursery from age 2 for our older children , because it's near my partner's work and it was the only nursery that does term time only. We've also used other nurseries, and childminders, and there is honestly no difference in how happy our children have been and that is of course the most important thing.

My point is it does not have to be private to be excellent. Will you still be able to afford it when the fees go up? Is it really leagues above anything else available to you?

Actually one point that put us off (beyond the fees) was the much longer holidays - so you have to fund longer holiday clubs as well as the fees vs state

And nothing for school holidays unlike the private school.

But what holiday provision is available locally? Often if schools don't have holiday provision, it's because there is already a wealth of other options.

I personally think there's a benefit for putting your child in holiday clubs not run at their school - if nothing else they get to meet and mix with a wider range of children and make some different friends.

If the breakfast club is massively oversubscribed, then where is everyone sending their children? You'll probably find there are local childminders that do local school drop offs and pickups.