Taking child out of private into state primary - what do I tell her?

[whatatanker]

Unfortunately due to financial issues, we've got to move my daughter from a really really good independent prep into our local primary. Our local state primary is very good, but it will be a huge change for her in terms of friendships, class sizes, academic and sporting facilities etc.

So, when and how do I tell her? Should I just be honest and say that we can't afford her school fees any more? Will this be damaging for her in later years if we say that? Or do I make up something like 'this school is closer' to protect her from the finances, which she might struggle to comprehend at this age. (She's Year One)

Also, when is the best time to tell her - I'm thinking just a couple of weeks before the end of the summer term (she's moving in September).

Any thoughts would be really welcome.

I was moved from private to local primary when I was about 8 . I genuinely cannot remember being particularly phased by it and I don’t know what the reason was . My parents sold it that it meant I would have friends in our village…I really loved the local primary and my best and oldest friend was in the same class as me .
Really don’t worry…children are very adaptable.

@dictatorboss that's lovely. I'm so glad it worked out for you.

Fingers crossed it will be the same for my little one.

You can tell her anything you like and she will believe you...so make it positive....my DD moved to a new primary at end of year 1 ....( we moved home) ....6 months down the line you wouldn’t have known she was the new girl anymore....it will be fine

I think you are doing the right thing to move early on, rather than struggling with fees, getting in debt, and moving her years on, when she's embedded in the private school culture.

I sometimes wonder about private school, but whilst we are comfortable, I can't hand on heart say our finances will make it doable till 18 for two children. We've decided to run with the state option, unless we have any major issues.

A reception place starting in September wouldn't prioritise a Year 2 place request for September

You need to find out if they currently have a place in Year 1.

Having moved DC last year in year 1, I'd think carefully about when to move her. We moved DC after Easter as the in year space was offered 1.5 weeks before and it felt too rushed to get him in before. He spent the last week at school and the whole Easter holidays stressing about it. Within 2 days of starting at the new school he was fine, at that age they are very welcoming of new kids in the class. There have been a couple of in year transfers in since to his school where they've moved as quickly as they could and it's gone much better.

I appreciate you've paid the terms fees, but the summer holidays is a long time for her to stress about the change. I'd be tempted to move her 4 weeks or so before the end of term so she has time to settle in - and only tell her the week before.

I'd

@TheHoptimist I’m not sure that I fully understand you.

Yes, they currently have space in Year 1.

I want both of my children to attend the same school, so if my youngest doesn’t get a place in Reception, then I won’t be taking up the space for my eldest. I’ll be trying to move them together.

[quote whatatanker]@TheHoptimist I’m not sure that I fully understand you.

Yes, they currently have space in Year 1.

I want both of my children to attend the same school, so if my youngest doesn’t get a place in Reception, then I won’t be taking up the space for my eldest. I’ll be trying to move them together.[/quote]
We moved ours in early years, we walked to the school and talk about it and they asked questions. It was fine

If her sister is starting in Sept, I would start them both then. (Unless there is a chance their space(s) in year 1 now will get filled and you won't get a space). I would try to go to the 'meet your new teacher' day and possibly another fun end of term event if the school are on board. Then talk about all the great things at the new school. I moved after Reception and was quite happy about it all.

If you can get a few days in the new school before summer term ends. Ask whether there is a year Facebook page or what’s app group that you could join ? We would often say all meeting at the park after school on the Friday and free to join etc same for the odd day in the summer holidays!

I don’t think you need to make a thing about moving from private to state - like you said this school is closer etc I wouldn’t say anything until maybe a couple of weeks before the trial days? So it’s not a long drawn out process?

Would moving her at Easter work is there space now ? I know you paid but may settle her more in the long run? Though I moved my daughter we didn’t move her till the September, it did work well with them being younger years the summer term is a long break - so it’s all still new again in the September!

Moving after the summer hols is best. It's a long time so she her old school won't be as fresh and each September is a new start.

I'd go with wanting both children in same school angle with practicalities of picking up and dropping off opportunity to meet new friends etc.
Don't make it a better/worse situation in case she repeats back either to old friends or new.
Can you do some local activities near the school over Easter/Summer hols to see if she can meet some future classmates in advance??

Could you say, "Gosh guess what you won't believe it!! The school we have been waiting for has finally got a space for you. How exciting!! Lots of lovely new friends that you will live near". Really big up the new school but don't do until the end of summer term. If you tell her now she will worry. Leave as long as you can and make it a really positive move .

I think it's good that you're not mentioning finance - otherwise your DD may well start worrying about what else you might not be able to afford (food, clothes, housing) even though I very much hope these aren't concerns for you. I agree with others, keep it positive!