Move my child for a second time?

[Catatemysandwich]

We moved my child to a new school 2.5 years ago at the end of Year 1 following a house move. He has never really settled at the new school. Year 2 was not great as just as he started getting used to it we went into lockdown. Year 3 was better but again disrupted. Now in Year 4 is he is unhappy, still says regularly he misses his old school and the close group of friends he left behind. Friendship issues seem to be the root of the problem, particularly following the classes being reshuffled at the beginning of this year - he is 'stuck' in a group he does not feel he gels with and says he has no real friends. The teacher has tried to help but is obviously busy. Our options to improve the situation seem to be:

1. Do nothing and continue to work on improving the current situation with the teacher. This is his preferred option as he's scared of change.

2. Ask to have him moved to a different Year 4 class (it's a large school) - maybe he can pick up friendships from Year 3 that have fallen away with the reshuffle (which I don't think was well-managed and has resulted in lots of friendship issues, speaking to other parents).

3. Look at different schools in the local area. Two other good schools near us have vacancies. Current school feels fairly impersonal and not particularly nurturing. It's another big change for just two more years of primary and there are no guarantees - but it would get him away from current issues and be a new start.

4. Probably not a sensible option, but return him to the original school (now a 30 minute drive away in traffic). I know things there are likely to have changed and he may not slot back in, and we weren't overly happy with it in terms of head/teaching. Also we'd then be pushing the problem down the road for when he attends a local secondary school in the new area. But I'm at the point where I'd be willing to take some inconvenience to see him happy...

Anyone been in a similar position? Or have thoughts?

This must be so tough.

Firstly, I would definitely not send him back to the old school. You weren’t happy with it, it’s inconvenient and most importantly it’s highly unlikely he’ll fit back in as if he hadn’t left.

I’d seriously consider another move if the local schools with spaces are good. A fresh start without the interruption might help. I can see how it could be hard being the new person and then schooling being disrupted, you wouldn’t have the chance to settle properly and then by the time normal learning resumes you’re not new anymore but don’t have the group of friends.

If you like the current school otherwise, I’d try working with them to potentially shuffle classes etc.

Option 2, followed by option 3.

2, then 3 if 2 is denied or doesn’t work.

Two years is a looooong time for a child.

Definitely not 4

3 - if they have spaces go for it. I am not sensing any love for your current school and kids at that age are keen to make friends with the new kid.

Thanks all, really appreciate the input. I'm going to talk to the current teacher about options. Moving to a new school makes me nervous - could be great, could be just as bad. He feels like the problem is a reflection on him and if things didn't fall in to place quite quickly it could do further damage to his confidence...

Option 2

I have been in exactly this position, DD was even the same age when we moved; we went for option 3. It was the best decision for my DD- she now has local friends to go to secondary with, and never talks about her old pre-move school. She is back to her old self, and is so much more confident.

The school she was in before was one form entry, so no option 2 available, but it is certainly possible for a child to thrive after moving schools.

Feel free to PM me, I went through a LOT of anguish over it at the time, think I even started a thread about it on here!

We have just been through exactly the same things with a child in year 4 also.

Agonised over what to do and opted to go for a second school move . As it stands it was a move for the better, I'd go for option 3.