How many Play dates - reception and year 1

[3boysandadog23]

Hello,
I feel I should have play dates for my son who is in reception, but I really struggle to find the time (and to be honest I’m quite scared to suggest them to anyone as I don’t know people well at school).
With work, and two other younger children, I just don’t know how to fit them in. Do other people find this and do some people not bother and it doesn’t affect their child’s friendships? My son has ‘friends’ in reception.. but I wouldn’t say anyone particularly close. The idea of doing play dates just fills me with dread!

I like, in better weather, suggesting meeting up at local park or similar, but I suppose it works best straight after pickup (not sure if you do them?) Other parent stays, no responsibility to care for or feed the other kid.
My youngest is in P1 and only had one friend from her class over and her mum came too. No way would I send mine on her own to the house of someone I barely know. 8 year old has though - to homes of parents I've chatted to at school gates since P1 so I do kinda know them.

Also if your kids go to childcare while you work they'll get extra social interaction there. I sometimes wonder if it would be better for them than our current set up!

I only ever did play dates in school holidays. Afternoons - so after lunch but before dinner - they could have a good three to four hours together. They’re not tired and grumpy after a day at school, you don’t have to deal with fussy eaters, and it’s much easier to manage with smaller siblings.

I was quite up front and honest with people about it and they seemed to appreciate it. Play dates were quality time as opposed to stressful. There’s no way I was having other peoples kids round to mine after school when my own was ratty and tired.

As they got older we do after school ones every now and again but it’s usually to help someone out. They tend to disappear off and you not see them which is fab. But at reception age they do need some input from you.

We always had loads of play dates but they were often combined with after school activities eg I had the two boys one week before gymnastics and the other mother had them the following week. But I was also on a similar rota for brownies.

We worked and used after school club so never did them! I hated doing them at the weekend as I was trying to recharge myself and refereeing a playdates was really stressful. I also wanted to fo family stuff.

DS is very sociable and now many years later has plenty of friends!

We used to do play dates once or twice a week, sometimes every eve! But it was honestly no big deal. Come over, play, eat. No baking, painting, activities! However the difference was I finished work at 2.30 at the time… I don’t know if it actually improved friendships. It tended to be the exact same 2-3 children on rotation. They were already friends at school. Children would go to theirs, they would come to us. Never on weekends tho.

And ps if it fills you with dread, definitely don’t do them atm. As the kids grow up, life becomes much easier. They go up to their bedrooms to play. You don’t need to do any supervision! I always made child friendly food, of the very simplest variety! Shop bought pesto was a staple for example. Honestly I’m very lazy. Kids happy tho!

I don’t.
We do go to the park after school where lots of other children from school go. It’s a chance to interact, but much less high pressure and if one of the children (or I am!) are too tired we can just leave.
I also put them in after school club from time to time. They love it for extra play time with friends.
I don’t have children round after school. I work and do a mad dash to school so often have to finish things off once they are home (technically I don’t work these times but being flexible is expected).

But even if I could, I wouldn’t. I don’t enjoy it and my kids are tired. It would just be martyring myself for an idea of what good mums should do.

DD is in Yr1 and we do lots of play dates/activities outside of school with friends.

So I tend to have DDs best friend round after school on a Friday, we do swimming lessons with a group of her friends on a Tuesday and usually an activity/play date on the weekend.

In the holidays we plan more elaborate things (days out to theme parks/attractions...)
We also all help each other out with childcare which, in the kids eyes, is basically a play date too.

It has helped to strengthen their friendships but they'd still all be good friends without doing this.

It helps that I WFH so I plan around that, but if you're working FT and with 2 other kids it can be tricky finding the time. I wouldn't worry too much, there's only so much you can do!