Year 1 how normal is refusing to go to school? Anyone got any tips?

[polexiaaphrodesia]

I've posted before about DS finding school challenging (mainly handwriting issues and some friendship problems which have resolved recently).

Every day is a battle in our house to get him to go to school. This morning he lay on the floor while I had to put his shoes on and then went floppy when I tried to get his coat on. DH walks him to school (under 10 mins walk) and he physically had to prise him off the door frame this morning. He then turned around half way down the road and tried to run back to the house so DH had to pick him up and carry him for most of the journey to school.

It is so upsetting for DS. We have always taken a firm stance with school - ie. Its non-negotiable and try to be jolly and make the walk in fun but every day he is sad and miserable on the way in but seems to be happy enough when he is there although very quiet and has said that he doesnt ever answer questions in class.

We also have a next door neighbour who is in his class and he really hates when we bump into him as he bounces along chatting happily while DS drags his feet and gets slower and slower so we try to avoid them if possible but of course we often end up seeing them as they either run to catch up with DS or DS going so slowly means they catch up with us.

Has anyone had any experience of similar issues and can you offer any advice? I was in tears this morning after watching DH carry him in after he ran back. In the past I have physically had to carry him into the classroom as he has tried to run away when we have got into the school gates.

I am in the same situation, but one year ahead. It is destroying me. We've tried so many things. Gentle, strict, fun, firm, talking about it, refusing to discuss it... everything. I'm stumped. I hate the thought of homeschooling (2 toddler/babies in the house, and I just don't think it'll be practical or easy to do it), but some days I just want to throw my hands up and say "ok, you win. Stay home".

I have no advice for you, but i offer a tonne of solidarity. It's a killer. I'm setting up a meeting with the school to try to solve the in school issues, in the hopes it'll improve the process of actually getting her into school. Sigh.

Thank you @NoLunch I really appreciate the solidarity and I hope things improve for your DD. It is a horrible situation to see them in and really does make you feel dreadful as a parent forcing them to do something which makes them so unhappy.

I have every sympathy and I suppose I'm giving you the advice that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

DD2 used to hate the whole getting ready/travelling/going into school and used to cry and cling on to me. A TA or the teacher used to prise her off me! I used to be fairly matter of fact, emphasising all the positives but I'd feel like the worst mother alive and often got into the car after dropping her off and had a little weep. The thing was, I knew she was fine when she got in as the lovely secretary used to ring me and tell me so! For us, it was a balance of me listening to her so she felt that people were paying attention but not so much so that I fed the anxiety even more.

DD2 carried on with this until about Yr4 when she started to be able to go in without such a huge trauma but continued to be a bit funny on occasions until Yr6 😵

However, she's now Yr8 and happily takes herself off to school without fuss (thank goodness!). So it's just a phase (in our case a VERY long one!) and it will pass.

Would he go with the neighbour? Or a grandparent? Or someone else's nanny?