Which of these schools would you choose?

[RelentlessForwardProgress]

Option A:
Local state primary.
15 min drive.
Small school, 60 ish pupils
R-yr6 split between 3 classrooms, approx 20 children in each class.
Basic facilities only. Packed lunches only. Breakfast and after school wrap around care, no clubs.

Option B
Independent
40 mins drive
180 ish pupils
2 x 15 student classes per year.
Large sport facilities, good on site catering with hot meals, variety of different after school clubs and activities

I think I’d be very tempted to go down the independent route.

Personally I would try the state school. 2hr 40 driving a day is a horrendous amount of driving to me. Let alone if there are problems (roadworks, congestion, snow etc). I would only contemplate that if the other option really didn't work.

Think what questions you will ask the state school:

• No. of adults in the classroom. Are they there all day?
• How do they stretch?
• Cross-year friendships

Honestly, if the school options are that limited where you live (what part of the country is this?), I would consider a move.

Am I right in thinking your dc is going to be attending (very likely) the independent school when they reach 11 anyway?
I think I'd want them at the primary there now. Chance to settle and build friendships with peers who they'll be with in the future.
DC may make good friendships in the closet school but it's likely most will move on to the secondary you don't like and you may have an upset dc who wants to go where their friends are going!.
Start as you mean to go on.
I'd not feel happy my child was being given good opportunities in the school with the mixed classes.

The independent seems way way too small to be sustainable. Go state

Firstly can I just say thank you for all the responses and helping me think through this, I really appreciate it!

@sleepyhoglet

The independent seems way way too small to be sustainable. Go state

I am very concerned about this. We are our current position because outs self totally DS is currently at an outstanding small indie very near our home that has, due to various factors, suddenly announced they will have to close at easter which has left us with no ideal solution. The thought of sending him to another school that goes bust and having to move him again is dreadful. His current school only goes to 11, and so I'm hoping the other school would have more resources, the 180 children is in the R-Yr6, there are then another 300 in the secondary part, but it is still a real concern. Do you have a size that you think is the minimum for sustainablilty?

@MrsMariaReynolds

Honestly, if the school options are that limited where you live (what part of the country is this?), I would consider a move.

Its all a bit sudden for us, we have to urgently find a school for the next term.

Moving might have to be the longer term option. We would not have moved here except for the outstanding local indep that is now closing.

But we have to find a school right now, so then that would mean moving him again after a move, unless possibly moving nearer the indy and keeping him there thus shortening the commute!

In any case we are very rural and the housing market is very sleepy, things take a long time and there are also animals etc so it isn't a case of being able to find a new area in the time available.

@Taswama

Is the 40 mins according to google or have you actually driven it? I would assume it could easily be an hour each way if there is bad weather, traffic jam, roadworks.

Is there a school bus option for the local primary? Maybe not immediately but in a year or two.

Is DS an only. Who will be doing the driving?

I haven't driven to either in the right time of morning, that is a really good point and i'll do both this week, thank you.

DS isn't an only but there is a very good ind girls school with local bus, so that isn't an issue for other DC.

I would be doing the driving, but two or three of the other pupils from his current school are also looking at the indy so we might well be able to car share some of the time, but i'd have to be able to do it all myself if necessary .

There isn't a school bus for primary.

Hmm, tough choice. I don't like the sound of either of them tbh.

Assuming you get a good feeling from it when you visit, I'd choose the independent. Yes, it's a longish commute, but the flip side is that if your DC gets to take part in lots of clubs and sports as part of the normal school day, you won't then have to ferry him around to extra-curriculars after school/at the weekend, so you gain that commuting time back.

A, 40 mins is really too far. Think about not just normal days but school plays, sports day etc. Also many of their friends will live even further than 40 mins from your home, which will not be great for their social life.

my kids went to a state primary with 35 kids in school and 2 classrooms.

there were some lovely things.
family feel
school was in a village and so large sense of being int he community
everyone knew the kids well
and so on.

but there were down sides
too small for friendships. My dd had a group of 4 girls, and that was great. ds only had one other boy his age and only 4 other boys in the class aged 7-11. It was rubbish and one of the reasons we eventually moved.
teachers - get a good teacher, great, you get 3 years of them. get a bad teacher and you get 3 years of them.
teachers are perfectly able to stretch all kids and cater to their needs, but if as a child you don't have anyone else at your level, there is no-one to compete with in the right sense of the word. No-one to pitch yourself against.
small schools can't make a full football team, or run many after school clubs. That was a definite down side.

So pros and cons and some depends on the school, the particular year group and your child.

BUT 40 minutes drive is actually for you 1hr and 20 minutes x 2 every day.
that does not seem doable

Where are the other kids from his current school going? Any chance you could arrange to share transport if everyone is planning the prep 40 mins away?

@EdithWeston

For example on sports btw: 60 pupils in the school, about half girls, about half in KS2, not enough for 2 netball teams to play against each other.

But as the whole school is split into 3 groups, and they do sport together, that's 20 pupils, so it'll be 5-a-side football and rounders.

If you want your DC to play more sport then you need clubs (more driving?) or the bigger school

I think you're assuming that PE is single sex - it is usually mixed in state primaries.

@titchy

Where are the other kids from his current school going? Any chance you could arrange to share transport if everyone is planning the prep 40 mins away?

Most of the girls are going to a girls only indy that has a local bus route. The boys are more complicated, everyone is looking round lots of schools , a few will board early at schools they were planning on going to later, some will have better state options nearer than us if they went to our current school from a different direction, but there are a fair few looking at the Indy we are, at least 2 or 3 local enough for us able to try and lift share, but i'd obviously not be sure enough of this when I initially have to say yes /no to the school, and of course plans could change and I might end up doing it all, so I'd need to be able to do it.

We moved house in 2020 & decided to leave DD in the nursery near put hold house as she only had 9 months left until school.. it was a 25 minute drive one way on paper. In reality, that was more like 40 minutes with traffic, weather conditions, temporary traffic lights, getting stuck behind tractors (we also live quite rurally).. it was worse on rainy days, traffic was always hideous. And this was during covid & some lockdowns with less traffic. I only did it threw times a week & I nearly lost the will to live. I HATED Mon-Wed. I kept going cos the end was in sight. We now go to school 5 minutes away, I still feel grateful every morning 😂

It really takes up a big chunk of your day. No way on earth I could do it for years at a time. In particular take into consideration work. It might be manageable now but what if you change jobs etc?

Our two are at a small school and with lower numbers recently they are amalgamating year groups. Tbh now we’ve been through it I’m planning to move them. I thought about all the advantages - smaller numbers, nurturing, playing across year groups. But now I’m 2 years in - just no. Too small classes and mixed sex means kids have so few friends or opportunities to experience what socializing in a ‘class’ looks like and to navigate all those necessities of not liking children and vice versa. I’d definitely go for 2…..as I’m am now!

I think you're assuming that PE is single sex - it is usually mixed in state primaries

I am for netball.

Other sports I expect to be mixed, which is why I expect a school that small will go for 5-a-side football and rounders if it is going to have team sports. It's not going to have the numbers for anything else.

My nieces are / were in a small school about that size. What happened, and happens in small schools round here, is that class size really fluctuates year to year. It might average a bit over 8 pupils a year, but is it actually the case that some years are 3 pupils and others 15? Similarly, gender balance can really fluctuate. Do you know yet what it's like for the year / class your DS would be going in to? If it's into a class of 3, all of whom are girls, that's very different to another potential scenario of going into a year of 15, 12 of whom are boys.