Is private school worth it for primary school, when not really interested in academics?

[Bexy1111]

So my DS is 3 and I'm looking at primary schools, and initially was intent on sending him to a private school (I had a horrible experience with my state secondary school and did not want him to go through the same thing). However what I'm seeing is a lot of these private schools have a hard focus on academics which isn't really something I'm too bothered about at primary stage, as I think the happiness and emotional/mental development trumps academic achievement. So my question is, is private school worth it for primary school if you're not bothered about the academic output, are there any other benefits to private primary education??? Other than just prepping them for private secondary school?

Thank-you in advance for all answers would be a GREAT help!

Not sure. Stopping by to give you a bump.
Mine is Y4 in an "outstanding" state primary. Nice school, no issues about that. Except my child is not thriving. Seriously doubting if it's the right place for him.

He's bright but not that interested in academics. They do lots of PE but he still finds it hard to sit still. He tries really hard (and so does his teacher) but he's always being told to be quiet or wait his turn. I do wonder if smaller class sizes and more activities could be helpful for him. He's popular and confident but playing more and more into the role of showing off and class clown.

He's a very good kid and did really well with me in lockdown. We had to give up on the school lessons but I could get workbooks and I set him projects on subjects he was interested in.

Morally and on paper, I'm not a supporter of private schools and think everyone should get a good education. However the world is unfair and we can afford to move him.

I know I sound like a mum who thinks the sun shines out of her spirited child when they are rude and naughty little shits but he is a good kid who is struggling in a very rigid and stretched education system that good and experienced teachers/supportive schools cannot always overcome.

My daughter goes to Old Palace of John Whitgift, Prep. The school is 3 to 18 and its not seen as a heavy hitter academic school, it's in the Times top 30 for London indie schools, and it does better than most state and at least as good as many grammars, but it's not known as a hot house or anything.

My DD loves it, and joined in nursery. She learns languages, they have their own swimming pool, large playing fields (over in the prep) and has beautiful Elizabethan buildings in the senior. She does clubs from Yoga to tap dancing, after school clubs, breakfast clubs, there's always trips to plays, museums and concerts, a well stocked library. There's a really good community at the school. I haven't met a bad parent, and the teaching is first class. There's a real mix, while some are very wealthy and live in huge houses, there are many who aren't and live modestly and are just making big sacrifices to send their girls there.

So although my DD isn't at what I would call a very academic prep, she's receiving a brilliant education, regardless if she stays on after y7 it has given her an excellent start in life, which is what we wanted.

If you're going to really struggle financially, then that's a different question. I pay nearly 13 grand a year in just fees (and that's prep, it jumps up at senior school after Y7 to 17 grand, ) there's always lots of extras on top of the fees- uniform replacements, trips, clubs, birthday party presents So the fees are just the bare minimum.

For me it's precisely the soft skills preps are really good at- communication, team work, self confidence, creativity especially. I went to state primary and couldn't believe the music opportunities my DD has at Prep, better than my state secondary.

My dc have been to decent UK state and overseas UK international school.

The UK state primary really wasn't bad.

The private school had music, dance, arts, language and science taught by specialists.
It wasn't hot house or restricted intake.

My dc would have done fine in just UK state but the private school taught all the non academic subjects so much better.
My dc have good music and excellent language skills as a result.

Mine are in private primary schools, and likewise we’re not fussed about academics.

For us the positives are

• smaller class sizes (max 15), so the teachers have time to get to know the children and play to their interests
• pastoral care is really excellent- again prob because the teachers have more time
• longer school days (so we don’t need separate wrap around care at all)
• lots of sports, music, and art because they have the facilities right there on site, own swimming pool, etc.
• the school goes to 18 so they’ll (hopefully!) have lots of friends moving up with them, I found the transition to secondary school very difficult so hopefully this smooths it over.

It’s just a really good school.

Having said all that, it really depends on what your local schools are like, I know if we happened to be right by an excellent state school we’d have gone for that.

My kids are at a preprep (age 2-7) and although it's very academically focused because it prepares for the 7+, it is amazing at creating lovely experiences for the kids. Much much better than I ever experienced. Also a huge number of extracurricular activities. I would say the less academic children have just as magical a time as the academic ones.
But I know other prepreps are not like this so you need to pick the right school.

It depends. My daughter is at a prep school (3-11)

Part of it was academic for us, we have 3 outstanding state grammars nearby, one of which we'd ideally like to get her into but it's more than that.

To start with I was concerned about the state school lottery. The state primaries near us are a mixed bag. Some are good, some are really naff and even the better one in our catchment area in terms of facilities is really dilapidated because it gets no funding.

The staff to teacher ratio is really good, there are 25 in a class but there are generally 3 qualified teachers in there at any one time. They also use their staffing really wisely to tailor to the kids needs. My daughter's class is VERY mixed ability so for literacy and phonics they have 6 members of staff working with groups of children at the level they need.

Extra curricular opportunities that my friend's children don't have

Lovely environment and facilities

Enrichment and treat days - once a term they have a wow day where they focus on a particular topic or project and the last day of term they practically have an entire funfair on the field

Real emphasis on soft skills and life skills - the year 6s spend most of their last half term on stuff like financial literacy, cookery, first aid etc

Lastly I've just found the whole ethos is lovely. It's completely non selective, children are equally welcome no matter what their ability or needs. When my daughter had a bit of school anxiety and we emailed her teacher (on a weekend) within 4 hours we had a meeting set up for that week with her form teacher, the head and the head of key stage. The care and "family" feel is second to none. Never felt that in the state system (and I used to work in it)

You need to pick the right one. We applied to our nearest four state primaries, all with excellent ofsted ratings, and my son didn't get into any due to over subscribing. The one offered was miles away and didn't have a good reputation. Fortunately we could afford private snd he went to a non selective one. I would have been fine if he'd gone to any of the state ones we applied to, but secondaries in our area were not that strong and we would have probably put our kids in private at that point if they weren't already in private.
My son is not particularly academic but I still feel he gained a lot at the private school. He was a bit gobby and I think this would have gone unchecked in a bigger class - standards of behaviour were high.
Academics are one reason but not the only one to send your child to a private school. But remember your experience was yours - there's no reason to believe your son will have the same whether at a state or independent school.

It really depends on the choices you have. State schools aren't all the same nor are all private schools created equal. I'd focus more on what your child is interested in / needs and if you can get the provision irrespective of sector.

The main difference (besides academics) I've seen between our outstanding local state schools and our terrific private schools is the breadth of the provision. Due to budget constraints, most state schools can choose to do 1 or 2 non-academic things really well-- so sport and music but no real drama, art or strong language provision for instance.

If that's worth paying for is really down to your finances and if you have the time as a family to recreate some of those opportunities outside of school through clubs etc.

It really depends on the school. You get a ‘feel’ by visiting and not all will be heavy on academic pressure. My two are in private because they get so much more of a rounded experience. Clubs, fun activities, drama, music, art etc. and the behaviour and attention is amazing. My son was at state initially - the different approach is staggering. I’d say 100% worth it and like you I am not at all bothered about their results / just want happy, respectful kids who want to be learning