Another school move ? are we being unrealistic ?

[CoffeeandChocolate3000]

Moved childs school about 18 months ago. The kids in the class at the previous school were fine and our child was happy, but we felt the teaching and quality or work was atrocious.

Now at second school, staff are all fine but the class is completely toxic. Our child is being singled out , another boy in the class who has been doing impressions of them, while the other kids all laugh . they've been grabbing childs stuff and throwing it about between them. class time is disruptive shouting out and loads of noise.
We've been to see teacher and were given reassurances etc. child is still coming out unhappy still.

I don't expect the perfect school, but really don't know what to do.

Would a move to a 3rd school be a ridiculous idea ?
should our child just take some behaviour from other kids " on the chin" ?

How old are they? Do they want to move? Is it even feasible with local places?

Tbh I think it was daft to move the first time.

yes they want to move, first school child couldn't even write properly it was completely illegible, this was in year 3.

Is there another class in their year to move to?

one class per year at present.

There is no point staying in this unpleasant environment because you already had a move. Better to try again, especially as the child themselves wants to move.

I would never take bullying 'on the chin'. Your child is being bullied.

One of ours ended up moving twice and it was worth it.
The others did not move at all, it is just how it goes sometimes.

You are teaching your child their happiness is the top priority.

absolutely, move schools. Better to have poor teaching than an unhappy bullying situation.

Looking back, continuity at primary school level doesn't look as important as it feels at secondary school towards the GCSE years. Most of my DSs best friends arrived at his primary school in year 5 or 6 so moving is no barrier to finding lasting friendships as long as you can find a non-toxic class next time.

I went to 5 different primary schools for various reasons. It did me no harm and I became good at making friends quickly. Move your child if you are unhappy.

If they were happy in the first school then I would have left them there. Unhappy children are not going to do well anywhere. I wouldn't put them through another move that might leave them unhappy - take them back to the first school would be my advice.

I think you jumped the gun at the first one. Your child is getting the message that if I complain about school, mum and dad panic and will move me. Is this really a good way to settle and deal with issues? You have to ask yourself whether you are being pragmatic and big picture or whether you are over reacting. You will doubtless say not, but it would be unusual to make these moves. In relation to a difficult class, there is no guarantee that the next class will be to your taste either. I would instead be looking to resolve the issues at the current school, but you also need to accept that no school will meet all your expectations.

At that age I would do with kind peers and happy friendships over teaching as such as the teacher changes yearly and we can work on learning at home.
A disruptive class can spoil every single day-
I would move

@cansu

I think you jumped the gun at the first one. Your child is getting the message that if I complain about school, mum and dad panic and will move me. Is this really a good way to settle and deal with issues? You have to ask yourself whether you are being pragmatic and big picture or whether you are over reacting. You will doubtless say not, but it would be unusual to make these moves. In relation to a difficult class, there is no guarantee that the next class will be to your taste either. I would instead be looking to resolve the issues at the current school, but you also need to accept that no school will meet all your expectations.

Child didn't complain at all about the first school. We were the ones who had serious concerns .

As previously said, I don't expect any school to be perfect.

@labyrinthlaziness

One of ours ended up moving twice and it was worth it. The others did not move at all, it is just how it goes sometimes.

You are teaching your child their happiness is the top priority.

Thankyou for this really appreciate your response, its good to know someone else who has been through a similar experience. I'm of the same opinion and think children's happiness is priority.

Do you have other options with local schools? There are 5 schools in my area that are realistically do-able fitting around work etc plus our school. 4 of those are oversubscribed. The one that isn’t is undersubscribed for a reason!

You need to think really hard about your next move. You cannot do this again if you do move them to a 3rd school. Problem is, you cannot predict what a class will be like. You presumably chose your current school because you liked it & it has a good reputation. But now you see the class isn’t brilliant. That could easily happen again. Your child will yet again be the new kid and sadly, that can be a target. Do you have any contacts in other local schools where you can get an opinion on what the year group is like etc? A choice of a bigger school so there is a chance to move between classes..

I can’t believe that others are saying you jumped the gun with the first move. You were obviously unhappy with it and I get the impression that your worries were well founded. I’d have done the same if there was an opportunity to make a move to somewhere that I thought would be better.

I’d absolutely back you to move you child again if they’re being bullied. I imagine sometimes, even in a great school that is generally very friendly, you get a “bad” year of kids that just doesn’t form a welcoming class. Under no circumstances would I leave my child in a class where they were bullied. Are there often spaces in the school, I would wonder whether previous class members had the same issues and left if it was oversubscribed.

What are the school doing?

I would get hold of the bullying policy but if school aren't trying or making no progress yes i would move.

What is the school doing anything?

Have you only been to see the teacher, or have you also contacted further up the chain - head of keystage, head of school? I would try that first and see if things can be resolved. Sometimes a class isn't so bad with different teachers - unfortunately some teachers are just able to deal with disruptive children more easily than others.

Totally agree. some teachers are better at managing those childrens needs when challenging behaviour is involved.