Y3 new prep not meeting expectations - help

[comberbird]

Last year at Easter we moved out of London and took our kids out of two of the top schools (one selective and the other claims not to be) and moved to the countryside. They are at a small local prep. My daughter who is younger is flourishing as she was the youngest in her year and she anxious where she was which was pushy in the extreme. My son was top of his class and is now bored and I can see the quality of his work is dropping and the pace is much much slower.

I don’t know enough about educational standards and teaching to know what I should expect. I understand there is a wide range of abilities in the class (of 17 with one teaching g asst) and this is a challenge. My question is what should I ask in this situation to ensure my son is being stretched and get the attention he needs. There are a few things I have observed that I don’t think are up to scratch - like no one is reading with my son and there is very little testing, reports aren’t graded but none of this really tells me what should be happening in the classroom and what I should expect, welcome
all sound advice thank you.

@viques
Yes they do! It’s meaningless of course because cohorts vary. DDs old prep did it.

@comberbird
You really need to look at the destinations of other DC at the school and scholarships. DDs old prep got lots of scholarships to top boarding schools like Benenden and Wycombe Abbey. Where do the boys go at your school and do they get scholarships. If they do, then it’s got enough bright DC for him to work with. If they go to the local non selective independent day schools or boarding that’s not very selective, he’s not in the right school. DDs school wasn’t overly pushy but they had bright DDs! Destinations and scholarships tell you everything!

I think it sounds like that prep isn't the right school for your son. Just move him to another one.

This sounds very similar to a private prep school our children attended outside of London.

Alot of focus and promotion of the school was put on extra curricular activities. When it came down to academic work alot was being conducted on laptops .
We look back now and realised one of our children was not being stretched enough. I would definitely contact the class teacher and ask for a chat with them regarding your concerns.

You really need to talk to them about destinations and if they really do support your ambitions.

I’ll never understand people who have children & send them away to boarding school. I don’t mind private education. I’d probably use it for secondary school if I could afford it. But sending your kids away.. baffling. I love my kids with all my heart, time spent with them is my favourite time. I live for weekends together as a family. They’ll only be kids once. And then they’ll go off & live their own life. I intend to squeeze every last drop out of the time we have together during this phase of life. Work or my social life will never be more important than my kids. A good education is very important but no need to send them away to get one! Parents who do must be so cold hearted. I miss my kids when they have a night away at my parents!

@Bobholll you're confused; the OP hasn't sent her children to boarding school - prep usually just means private primary school.

@Bobholll
The op mentioned boarding at 13. Some of us believe we can be better parents if we share the load. You don’t “send them away”: you delegate some aspects of your responsibilities to others. But we do love our children. And see them quite a lot! People don’t always think the same about parenting and that’s fine if everyone is happy!

Ilove my kids with all my heart, time spent with them is my favourite time. I live for weekends together as a family

Mmm. I think you will find that by the time your kids are 13 they may no longer share your enthusiasm for spending the weekend with their parents.

@Bobholll
Many DC weekly board. They too have family time at weekends! Are you saying boarding DC are not lived by their parents?

Loved !!!

OP, I’m dying to know the school. We’ve been through a very similar experience. We stuck it for 2 years, just in case we’d got a bad teacher the first year- we had, but that aside, stretching more able children just wasn’t on the schools agenda (which was pretty annoying given that we’d visited the school on 3 occasions before applying and on each occasion asked if they would stretch our more able child, and their response implied that they would). Contrast it with the school we moved them to, also considered an all rounder, where DS new teacher contacted me within a week to tell me she had identified DS as very capable and had assigned him to the top sets and would be ensuring he was stretched.
We also used a tutor for the 2 years he was at the other school- otherwise he would have totally switched off as he was bored out of his mind. In the new school he is totally engaged with learning and we no longer need the tutor.
If the school isn’t providing ability appropriate work from the outset my guess is that they won’t going forward, so you either supplement with tutoring or move. Good luck.

@Jisforjuggling
Doesn’t any of your previous experience make you wonder why you are paying? Also you need to see clear evidence of bright children reaching high quality destinations. Otherwise you really lose momentum on where you want to go.

@TizerorFizz I’m not exactly sure what you mean….although I think you may be saying that private schools are a waste of money? And you might be right. Certainly we think we are getting value for money at the new school…….whether in the long run it’s money well spent is an entirely different matter. We can comfortably afford the fees. If it was a struggle, I don’t think we would make significant sacrifices. I was privately educated (back in the days of assisted places). I know almost no-one who was privately educated who can independently afford to send their own children privately. And given the rise in house prices if you were to ask your independently educated adult children working as nurses, teachers, police officers, physios…..pretty much anyone earning under £50k if they would rather have been privately educated or have £250k for a house deposit it would be interesting to see what they would say.

@Jisforjuggling

I really meant using a tutor and not checking outcomes. My DDs were state and privately educated at primary age. The private had top schools in its sights and DDs there got lots of scholarships. Their whole business was based on this type of success. So they charged more but many parents were happy with outcomes. If it was just a little cosy prep with average outcomes, why pay? My DD at the state primary is now a barrister. 4 of her state educated year group got places at Oxbridge. So although the prep had a different outlook and better facilities, eventual outcomes for the bright ones wasn’t much different! My DD easily earns more than most in her cohort at any school she went to. Others are no doubt fulfilled and happy too.

Hello all. I love how these post can run away with themselves! So we met his teacher who was lovely. It’s turns out he had done sats and a PUMA test and we didn’t even know! In fairness there was a lot Covid related issues last term. The discussion was reassuring and we have been given extra activities to consider and given feedback on subjects were he so just bored. There are a variety of destination schools reflecting the variety of kids they take in but yes there are leavers from the school who go to the places we are considering a several have gone on scholarships. I think the key for us is to keep on top of all of this which I had hoped the school would be doing most of for us. Thanks for all your comments.

We are at a small country prep but still children are sent to Eton, Harrow and Winchester. I suspect schools in London are far more competitive and pushy but then I also appreciate that our children have more time and space to be children.
As you've shown often the children do tests and the parents do not know.. our child came home the other day and reported they have done a cats test. The scores we receive are for effort rather than performance. If you want performance scores you have to ask for them.
I was not happy with the maths at our previous prep and despite 2 years of emails and meetings nothing changed so we moved our children to the new prep.
If you feel you need to do some extra work with your son at home and keep prodding the school. I am sure they will have other bright children too.
Yr3 is still very young and if he can read well then it's unlikely they need anyone to listen to him.

@MrPickles73
@comberbird
It’s useless if schools assess children for progress and then don’t tell parents! Tests are a bit ? In my view but they really should tell you about progress and how they have assessed that. Private schools can be very behind state schools when assessing and giving info to parents. I don’t like the “if you don’t ask, you don’t get model” of reporting on DC. The schools must know what their scholarship group looks like and their SEN group! So they must have attainment and progress info - one would hope!!

My DD was not at a prep in London. We live in the countryside! However there are preps near me that don’t send DC anywhere like a top selective school. In fact DC would leave after KS2 if parents wanted one. So as long as you choose according to your child’s abilities and your required outcomes, you should be fine.

TizerorFizz this is my experience of both prep schools we have been to - you have to request test results. I'm happy with this. Most parents are not interested..

@MrPickles73
I’m not talking about test results. They are only part of the jigsaw puzzle. I’m more concerned about whether prep schools assess progress accurately and convey attainment and progress to parents in line with their assessment policy. Often schools don’t tell anyone how they assess progress. I think that often communication should be improved regarding progress. But maybe, as you say, others don’t care.