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Original poster

Mother is trying to move her child to another school without the father's consent

36 replies

5Cats2Kittens · 14/01/2022 11:09

Hello,

I am involved in a situation, and I am hoping to get some advice on it.

Mother and father are divorced. They share a 9 year old daughter. They have 50-50 custody, one week on, one week off. The father gets the child benefit. There is no CMS paid.

The mother moved to another area two years ago. It is a 30 minute drive away. The daughter still goes to school in the area the mother previously lived in, so the mother has to do that drive every day, every other week.

Since moving, the mother has been trying to convince the dad to move the daughter to a school in the area the mother is now in. The dad doesn't agree. The schools in the mother's new area are not good.

The mother is now saying that she is just going to move the daughter with or without the father's consent. Can she legally do this? Is there anything dad can do to stop it? What should the father be doing before this move happens?

OP posts:
Wankerchief · 14/01/2022 11:11

What does the child want?

Danikm151 · 14/01/2022 11:11

They both have parental responsibility so i think both need to agree.
Dad has the CHB so he is technically the resident parent

GoGoGretaDoll · 14/01/2022 11:13

Does the father have parental responsibility? If yes, he can stop the move by going through the courts. If no, then I think it would be very difficult.

Neither scenario feels like its in the best interests of the child though.

I think the person doing the driving should get the child benefit personally, but that's a smaller detail.

RedskyThisNight · 14/01/2022 11:17

If you can't agree amicably, you will need to seek legal help.

I guess you also need to start discussing what happens for secondary school applications.

GoGoGretaDoll · 14/01/2022 11:18

I would also say, no matter if you are the mother or the father, there's hardly any primary school time left - it will go in a flash - actually you'd be much better off accepting the status quo and working out what secondary looks like.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 14/01/2022 11:22

I would get legal advice, but moving a 9 year old school would be very disrupted

Xiaoxiong · 14/01/2022 12:18

A 30 min drive to school is nothing, I do a 30 mins each way school run because that's the best school for my DCs. Unless the school the mum wants to move her kid to is significantly better, I wouldn't put the child through the disruption of moving with a year and a half of primary left to go just for the convenience of the mum, especially as she was the one to move away, and who knows where the child will end up for secondary. Mum needs to suck it up for one more year IMO.

In terms of the legal situation and what the dad can do, this might be helpful: www.georgegreen.co.uk/site/george-green-blog/parent-change-childs-school

"A parent with parental responsibility should play a role in all important decisions in a child’s life, including but not limited to education, religion and medical care.

If an agreement cannot be reached about issues such as where a child goes to school, an application can be made for the Court to make a Specific Issue Order. A Specific Issue Order is a form of Child Arrangements Order in which the Court confirms a specific point such as where the child goes to school, should the child be able to attend a holiday abroad or can the child relocate with the resident parent.!

Isthatthebestyoucando · 14/01/2022 12:23

Why doesn't the Mother get the child benefit if she is driving around for school runs?

AlexaShutUp · 14/01/2022 12:27

If the child is happy and settled where she is, then it isn't in her best interests to move. I imagine the courts would have to intervene to actually stop this though.

Original poster
5Cats2Kittens · 14/01/2022 17:35

Thank you responders.

The father gets the cb as he does have his daughter slightly more than mum. It's 50-50 on paper, but usually about 60-40 in reality. This is because mum works night shifts so sometimes can't do the full week.

I'm not sure what the daughter wants. She is only 9, and I don't think truly able to understand such a decision.

OP posts:
Foolsrule · 14/01/2022 17:37

Not in the child’s best interests. Not a chance I’d say. At most it’s 2.5 years if the child is year 4 now.

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/01/2022 17:40

Yes either parent with PR can move a child. If the father wants to then move the child back he will have to go to court. Only one parents consent is needed.

titchy · 14/01/2022 17:41

The father should alert the school and LA where the mother lives to ensure they are aware he has PR and doesn't agree with the move.

The mother would then need to apply to court.

titchy · 14/01/2022 17:42

@MyDcAreMarvel

Yes either parent with PR can move a child. If the father wants to then move the child back he will have to go to court. Only one parents consent is needed.
Not true. If they cannot agree then the court would have to decide.
RandomMess · 14/01/2022 17:55

They need to look ahead to secondary school admissions etc.

He could take out a prohibitive steps order to prevent the move without his consent though.

crazyexornot · 14/01/2022 17:57

Mum can move without dad's permission but dad can stop it by going through the courts.

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/01/2022 19:00

@titchy Not true. If they cannot agree then the court would have to decide.
No you are wrong, as I said any parent with PR can remove a child. If the father goes to court before the request is made it can be stopped by a prohibitive steps order but otherwise it’s just one parents consent that is needed. I do wonder why people comment on these types of posts without having the facts. It’s really not helpful to the OP.

Takeachance18 · 14/01/2022 19:06

A 9 year old does understand and really should be the one making the final decision if neither parent is moving, which makes attending difficult. If she is happy at school, with friends and settled, this needs to be considered given she is going to be going back to the area every other week at least. Also needs to find a school with space, most of the better/popular schools are full, so would be waiting list for whichever school and then a quick move when a space becomes available. If she isn't happy, then maybe it might be a good thing. This is very truly a situation that both parents need to listen to the child as moving school when a child is happy, nothing else is changing could be distressing.

Mia85 · 14/01/2022 19:06

I'm not sure what the daughter wants. She is only 9, and I don't think truly able to understand such a decision

You can ask what she feels about the possibility without asking her to make the decision.

Mia85 · 14/01/2022 19:09

@Takeachance18

A 9 year old does understand and really should be the one making the final decision if neither parent is moving, which makes attending difficult. If she is happy at school, with friends and settled, this needs to be considered given she is going to be going back to the area every other week at least. Also needs to find a school with space, most of the better/popular schools are full, so would be waiting list for whichever school and then a quick move when a space becomes available. If she isn't happy, then maybe it might be a good thing. This is very truly a situation that both parents need to listen to the child as moving school when a child is happy, nothing else is changing could be distressing.
And this. The final decision on schools is for parents but the child's feelings about moving and experience of her current school should be very important in that decision, especially if there's no pressing educational reason for the change.
GizmosEveningBath · 14/01/2022 19:17

Is distance the only reason the mother wants to move her?

AuntieStella · 14/01/2022 19:24

So the DC is happy and settled in school, and 50/50 living there.

If the DMum did not want to do the school run over that distance, she should not have moved that far away.

If the DDad sought a Prohibited Steps Order, to oreventnthe mother changing school without his consent, then it would be granted. The mother chose her living arrangements and has made it work for two years. It is not in the DC's interests to be moved from a school where she is settled and happy when there is an alternative arrangement that has worked perfectly well.

If the DMum does not want to continue that amount of travelling, she should move nearer

MargaretThursday · 14/01/2022 21:42

A 9yo can understand, but I would also think could easily be influenced, either by one or both.

If I put a move of schools to my dc at that age along the lines of:
"Hey, you'll easily make new friends, remember when X started and she was the interesting new girl-that would be you. They'll all go and hang round at the park and you'll have friends here all the time. And the new school has X afterschool club which you'll love"
They'd have been very quickly keen to move.

But if I'd put it as:
"You'll miss your friends such a lot, and they won't be interested in meeting up once you've gone. You've been so looking forward to the special school trip in year 6-I don't think they do that at the new school...."
Then they'd want to stay.

Yes, I think they should be consulted, but they may have been unfairly influenced.

SE13Mummy · 15/01/2022 00:27

Another consideration is how any such move would affect secondary school transfer; as CHB is received by the father, and he is the resident parent for a bit more of the time, it's likely his address will need to be used for the application. If his DD moves schools now but in a year's time is applying for secondary places based on her DF's address, she may be in a situation whereby she misses out on forming friendships with others transferring to the same secondary.

prh47bridge · 15/01/2022 10:10

@MyDcAreMarvel

Yes either parent with PR can move a child. If the father wants to then move the child back he will have to go to court. Only one parents consent is needed.
This is wrong. You cannot legally move a child to a different school unless you have the consent of everyone with parental responsibility.

As they are divorced, the father has parental responsibility, so mother cannot legally move their daughter to a different school without his consent. If he thinks she is likely to try, he can apply to the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order.

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