My Daughter’s Teacher.

[chickadee12]

My daughter is 9 and in year 4. Until this year she’s been really happy at her school. At the beginning of this year she moved to a class with a teacher who sounds awful. It’s not just her, lots of other kids are really struggling with her and several parents have made complaints. My daughter had covid last term and missed a lot of time as a result. I don’t think this is healing but since the start of the new term she has refused, point blank to go into school because of her teacher. The teacher shouts and screams a lot, makes the whole class miss playtime if one child does the tiniest thing wrong. She’s calls the kids useless, lazy, pathetic and says she doesn’t care when they approach her for help etc. Various parents have complained. The school always come back with the same story, that the children have got the wrong end of the stick, that the teacher was joking with them etc. Where do I go from here. My daughter doesn’t want to change schools as she has close friends there but she is hugely anxious about going in and has even said that she doesn’t want to be alive when she has to go to school. I’m feeling really stuck.

Sorry, that should say “ I don’t think this is helping not healing !”

she doesn’t want to be alive when she has to go to school

If you have already addressed this with the school and got nowhere then you need to take her out of school and send her somewhere else.

It's not fair, but it sounds like there isn't much of an alternative.

Have you complained yourself? You should contact the school directly and talk to the Head.

Suggest you take this issue back to the school via an in person meeting with the head - you need to know beforehand which other parents have also voiced concerns (can any also come to the meeting too), make sure the head knows it isn't just one child getting the wrong end of the stick and the seriousness of how much your child is emotionally impacted. Do not let them trivialise the concerns. And if no action is forthcoming then take the matter to the governors and let the headteacher know that this will be your next course of action

Kids often egg each other on once there is a 'hated' teacher. It will be 'oh have you got Miss X next term, she's a nightmare my sister had her last year' etc

If the education needs are being met I'd be very skeptical about the rest.

Especially if EVERYONE hates her. Sounds like the kids just don't like her and tell tales.

My daughter is in year 4 and has a 'shouty' teacher. My mum works in the school and says she does shout. Doesn't mean she's not educating them. They're juniors not infants. Don't agree with shouting at teenagers or infants but at this age it's appropriate at times

She’s calls the kids useless, lazy, pathetic and says she doesn’t care when they approach her for help etc.

• this is a serious allegation and if true is completely inappropriate. Speak to the headteacher urgently about this and if you are fobbed off and not reassured by what he or she is going to do to look into this ie suggesting the kids have got the 'wrong end of the stick', write to the Governors and/or Ofsted.

Sorry should have said IF it is all true then as many adults complaining as possible is better rather than 'everyone' has a problem with her which is actually all moaning in the playground and not actually officially composing

They’re not denying they’ve said those things, just that it was said in jest. The kids aren’t taking it in jest though. It doesn’t sound like it was said in a joking way either. In a class of 30 there are at least 5 who are really struggling emotionally and very reluctant to go in. Theyre the ones I know about. They’re not bad kids, in fact they tend to be the quieter ones with good behaviour and attitude.

I’d say the educational needs are t being met as a good proportion are incredibly anxious about going into school and in the case of my daughter, refusing to go at all. I don’t see how they can learn in those circumstances.

Can you ask to change class if there is another one? I would absolutely persist with complaining about this and going through the ranks and threaten the school with reporting to all levels on a safeguarding level through emotional abuse. Kids with asd in particular would not understand if this was in jest or not, so it isn't inclusive of kids with sen for starters.... A professional teacher should not be saying these things at all! Meeting with the head, go to the govenors, and ask all parents for their version of events and put a well worded letter together!

I don't really agree that children of this age all egg each other on to hate a teacher. It sounds like there is definitely a problem if it is affecting several children. Have you or any of the others started by arranging a chat with the actual teacher first. If that hasn't worked then it would be best to try to speak to the headteacher together as a group. The headteacher should take this seriously and at the very least will have a word with the teacher and be keeping an eye on them. It sounds as if this teacher has a different teaching style from other teachers they had been used to. However good the teacher may or may not be the children will not be learning so well if they are not happy and are anxious all the time.
If nothing improves you can check the school's complaints procedure which should be on their website and follow that.
I wouldn't immediately rush to change schools when your child has previously been quite happy and settled with friends at this school

@shakeitoffshakeacocktail

Kids often egg each other on once there is a 'hated' teacher. It will be 'oh have you got Miss X next term, she's a nightmare my sister had her last year' etc

If the education needs are being met I'd be very skeptical about the rest.

Especially if EVERYONE hates her. Sounds like the kids just don't like her and tell tales.

My daughter is in year 4 and has a 'shouty' teacher. My mum works in the school and says she does shout. Doesn't mean she's not educating them. They're juniors not infants. Don't agree with shouting at teenagers or infants but at this age it's appropriate at times

This sounds an awful lot like dismissing what children are saying purely because they are children, which is a very dangerous thing to do.

I am a teacher and have absolutely worked with teachers like the one the OP describes. I have seen teachers verbally abuse and terrify children, bully one particular child until they were severely anxious and refusing school, and even (one particular teacher) physically assault a child with SEN. It's rare, but it certainly happens. If my children reported this to me I would take it seriously.

I think you should write down everything your daughter has said and keep it - keep notes of any meetings or conversations you have with school staff and copies of any letters or emails you send them. Print out the school's policies on bullying, pastoral care and complaints and familiarise yourself with them.

If it is exaggeration, or misinterpretation, then no harm done. If you have run into one of the rare (but very real) examples of an abusive teacher, then you'll have the tools and the evidence to stand up for your child and others.

We had a somewhat similar issue with my DD’s teacher in Y3. I won’t go into details, but DD was also a well-behaved, school-loving child that was increasingly demoralised and resentful of unjust behaviour from the teacher. One time I did go in to clarify something with the teacher, and she lied to me about what happened, so I emailed the Head, and DH and I went in for a meeting.

The angle the Head chose to take in that meeting was to focus on my DD’s emotional wellbeing, which rather elegantly took the focus off the teacher (who was an NQT and I suspect needed more support than the school were providing). Although this was rather irritating at the time, actually it was sufficient, as I suspect the teacher was a little gentler with my DD after that, and the Head kept an eye on my DD for the rest of that academic year, calling her in a few times for a chat.

For us from that point on (it was the first term!), it was really a case of supporting DD through that year. We just hung on, kept reassuring DD and reminded her that there’s only a few months to go… That teacher passed her NQT year and is still the least popular teacher in the school.

I agree with others that say that the weight of pressure will eventually make a difference, so you do need to add yourself to the list of complaining parents, whether that’s by email or requesting a meeting (take full notes of anything, as others have said). Given my experience, I would recommend focusing on your daughter’s wellbeing rather than the teacher’s faults. I would also ask for assurance from the school that the teacher will stop using the terms ‘useless’, ‘lazy’ or ‘pathetic’ – or other derogatory equivalents – even as a ‘joke’, as these are upsetting your child.

Thanks everyone. That’s all really helpful advice. I appreciate it x

I agree with complaining to the head in writing.

If you don’t get anywhere I would escalate to the board of governors and if they’re not helpful to Ofsted.

It’s completely unacceptable bullying. And most year 4s are able to understand if someone is joking or not.