Non military family, military school

[Smurftastic]

Thanks to MN boards we've already made our decision regarding DD's first school choice, but I was wondering what mumsnetters think of school with high proportion of children from military? Talking about 25%+.

There seem to be several schools in my area that are popular with military families, but you can only discover it upon a lot of digging! I was wondering why's that the case? They all have nicer facilities due to better funding, and of course have to deal with children coming and going. I'm just wondering why schools would hide that fact.

I've not known a school hide the fact - and we're very near a military base so get a lot of Forces children.

Positives - the kids often have so much more experience in terms of having seen the UK and further afield.
The kids tend to be very accepting of new kids arriving and the school are good at settling new kids in (when DD1 joined further up the school they had a good set up to help her cope because of the military experience)
Depending on how things are between the school and the base - there's often the potential for a lot of mutual working - squaddies coming to chip in and volunteer with stuff, kids getting very very involved in things like remembrance days.
Round here if you can get a friends and family invite to the firework display - the local bomb disposal guys bloody know how to put on a show of making things go explode for pleasure!

Negatives - depending on your view - there can be some very rough around the edges parenting and kids going on - my best mate is a forces wife and her and her kids can fart and belch better than most blokes! (doesn't bother me - has not gone down well with some snobby parents at the school gates)
I'll be honest - we are really suffering this year because both my kids were absolute besties at second sister levels of best friend-ness with a sibling pair from a forces family and, because of basically internal squabbles on the base, the family applied for a transfer and moved away - and it's absolutely shredded both sets of kids (I could fucking throttle the dad for stropping off but that's another story) - while there's been loads of support for the military side of the equation - my own kids have really found it hard, as I have I losing a their very close friends as well.
It can also be hard if your kids make good friends with kids who live on the base just in terms of having to pre-arrange playdates and signing you on and off the base or picking up and dropping off at the guard house. Was particularly tough during Covid as there was NO chance of informal get togethers in gardens etc as the base locked down really tightly for a good long while.

That's just what we experienced with the base in an otherwise very very gentrified area - there was a real divide between the military families and our snobby arsehole contingent of parents. Me, I'll chat to anyone who I get on with - so I tended to gravitate to the parents who were chatting and having a laugh.

Are they 'hiding' it or just not mentioning it?
Why would they mention the occupation of the parents of their children?

I guess if you look on the website section regarding pupil premium it may well give the number of families who qualify from the military (along with FSM, adopted/LAC)?

As a military family - we have found that schools with a proportion of military families tend to have better facilities due to the pupil premium that forces children get. The schools have all been excellent at settling in new children and the children themselves used to welcoming new people into their friendship groups which is not always the case in come cliquey schools. The forces children often have a wider world view having lived in many houses and across the world in some cases. There isn't usually too much of an issue with behaviour as if your child is causing bother at a posting it can impact being posted to certain other jobs (some abroad postings assess carefully with the help of school reports if children can be provided for at their location).

What is it you're worried about? I don't look at schools and say 'why aren't they telling me how many people work in the local supermarket?'

@CoffeeWithCheese Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm very sorry you and your DC will miss your friends!

@TeenMinusTests Perhaps you're right, 'hiding' isn't the best way to describe it. I just wonder why it wasn't mentioned when I was visiting the schools, as I feel it could have a great impact on friendships.

You can find out how many children get pupil premium easily though?

Other than that, it's really none of your business. Perhaps you should send your child to a different school

@Smurftastic
It’s not acceptable, or lawful, for schools to give out details of what any parent does for a living. The info is obviously contained in school for pupil premium funding but it’s not permissible for all parents to have this info because it’s protected by law. So look at the PP info for funding details. This wi tell you enough of what you want to know.

It’s also not accurate to say PP funding is spent on facilities for all. The PP funding should be spent directly on the PP children. Not lumped together to buy something for everyone. The PP funding should ensure the Forces children do not fall behind because they have an interrupted education by moving house. Schools are accountable for this when Ofsted appear. They must ensure forces children receive the benefit of the funding. Not everyone else snd prove this is money well spent on those children.

Where I live the schools with forces children are very good. That’s because they are well run schools. The children often live in military homes but not within the base. So you just drive up the roads as normal! Around 25% is relatively small but you have to accept that these children may leave and friendships are broken. Of course 75% remain!

I would choose a school based on the quality of education and teaching. Not on forces children. You often find officers send DC to different schools from other ranks too. At least they do around here! So there is quite a difference in parenting and some schools don’t see the “rough around the edges” types. RAF can be different from other services too!

I wouldn’t want my children mixing with families whose habits I don’t like so I guess I would avoid the rough ones! But you could perhaps stand outside the gates and see what you think!?

@TizerorFizz I didn't consider 'rough around the edges' as a factor but it does make me wonder about the friendships. We already 'lost' a forming friendship from a baby group due to the family being reassigned elsewhere.
I don't mind the occupation of the parents, but I would be sad to see my DD lose a quarter of her friends!
Our circumstances just changed and we can afford to move to one of the lovely houses near that school.

We're a forces family and I'm a teacher.

Forces children aren't included in the normal pupil premium figures. They don't receive that money. Service pupil premium is £310 so nowhere near enough to significantly improve school facilities. That's more likely to be due to actual PP numbers or the academy chain.

The school I teach in and my kids go to is popular with the nearby military base but not the closest. The reality is that forces kids that move with their parents are transient therefore the biggest impact for your children will be friendships. How long they stay in one place depends on the parents role. My DH seems to move jobs every 18 months so we don't move. Other roles seem to allow people to stay 3-5 years so they may go through most of their primary school with some of the forces kids.

For me it wouldn't be a massive indicator on the school as a prospective parent unless it was more 50% plus forces.

The rough around the edges comment was pretty rude and unnecessary. The forces is a massive employer and therefore you get all sorts of people but to indicate that the majority are 'rough around the edges' is pretty insulting.

@mafsfan
No one said anything about a majority being rough around the edges. It was another poster who mentioned burping and farting by a military wife! I would say that person wouldn’t be likely to be in my sights as a friend. That would be within my definition of “rough” but certainly not a majority.

As a PP Governor with Forces children in the school, we did spend the £300 plus on those children. If it’s £300 for even 50 children, that adds up! We evaluated need and a strategy to improve learning outcomes. Some children didn’t need much intervention at all and others did.

Meh, you raise your children in London then you find that lots of people move out also. I really wouldn’t worry about changing friendships, it’s actually quite healthy for children to learn to say good bye.

The comment on rough round the edges was rude. Who do you think was serving in recent wars on your behalf