Single Parent Buying House Distance From Primary?

[HuckyFinn]

Hi - I am a dad with equal custody of our three little children.

I am looking to buy a house on my own with bedrooms for the children - our family home.

I am in conflict though about where to look! The children are in a primary in the middle of the countryside. I would like to purchase in a nice town for the amenities and so they can make some nice friends. But this would probably mean a giant 1 hour commute and take 40 minutes to drop them off. So for half their week they would be getting up really early to travel as I also have to be in work at a fairly early time.

We are in Lincs near the coast so transport is quite limited and there are not a huge amount of properties / locations. I have been weighing up would they get a better experience out in the countryside but I think that they might find it a bit dull - the countryside is one of those things that seems wonderful until you are actually living there with no access to drs, shops, people!

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Any advice please?

No experience but I think that commute sounds hellish for a child. I'd rather be near their school, much easier to hang out with friends after school etc rather than commuting.

That commute is ridiculous and unworkable

I’d buy near the school so they can see their school friends. Just think of all the things get could get up to rather than commuting in a car.

How would they make friends in the town?

I’d rather be in a town too but if my child’s school and other home was in the countryside that’s where I’d be.

I don’t suppose small children care about drs!

How old are they?
Don't put primary school aged children through that commute. Messes them up.
Children above 14 might find this an interesting prospect but you need to consider their looming gcse as the parent and see if they can handle it.

Children between 11 and 14 may have an opinion. I wouldn't want to put them through that but they might find it interesting. Very low chance they would but it is possible.

On the balance of things, it's a bad idea but there's a specific kind of child it could work for but given you have three, I doubt all three would cope with such a commute.

I'm a single parent and I recently moved some distance from the primary school for the better lifestyle and the excellent secondary in walking distance. Our new commute is a fraction of yours but it's really starting to get annoying. Getting up early, getting home later, then back out to clubs in the evening, never being able to walk to school, being 100% reliant on the car. It's only temporary but I'm already over it.

They will struggle to make friends if they don't go to school near you and will miss out on doing things with their school friends. This is a dreadful idea.

A long commute is miserable. I attended a private school 40 minutes away. It was a slog, and my friends were far away. If it had been available, weekly boarding would have been preferable.

I'd buy smaller but nearer their mates

I'd hate to live in the country so I sympathise, but honestly, if you have 50/50 then your life is going to be so much easier if you live close to school - and even more importantly, your kids' lives will be too.

Clubs, trips, friends, performances - everything is so much simpler. If you live close to school and DC1 wants to go back to his wee pal's house after school while DC2 wants to just come home - that's doable. If you're an hour away, it isn't. So then there's angst and tension around the kids doing the things they want to do when they want to do it. Eurgh.

If you can possibly make it work, stay near their school.