Advice for an unsure mum please!

[SparklesAndUnicorns]

Hi everybody so basically I have a son who has an august birthday so he's just turned 5 in year one and he's really struggling in school. He's had issues with weak muscles in his hands since he started so he finds it hard to hold a pencil and write, he's only just learned to write his name half decently. I'm really struggling tho to know what's normal and what I should be concerned about. He just finds things really hard and I don't know if it's because hes almost a year younger than some of his peers or if he may have something that means he finds learning hard. His hand eye coordination it horrific he's constantly spilling food down his front and gets covered in dinner and his school meals when a lot of kids come out sparkling clean he's covered head to toe in curry or something haha. His report came back saying he's behind on literally everything and I feel terrible. I've spoken to his teacher and she's given me a bit of advice and I do think he does get a little extra support but i know there's another child in his class that needs more 1:1 help so it's hard to give him the attention he needs which I do sympathise with. I'm just struggling to know if this is normal 5 year old learning or if I should push to get him more support at school. My eldest has a December birthday and she's in no way a genius but I was never worried that she was super super behind and she absolutely loves school. I'm just worried he's going to not enjoy learning as much because he finds it so hard. Any advice or similar stories would be amazing to hear because I really don't know where to go from here or if I'm just worrying over nothing. Thank you!

Phone up and ask to discuss the report with the teacher.

Book at mtg with your head of reception or KS1. Lots of children who didn't do nursery due to pandemic are 'behind' in core skills like fine motor control and physical literacy. Without knowing much more about what he's been doing over the last 18 months it's hard to assess. Does he draw at home? Does he do any sports clubs / swimming / play out lots to develop his core muscles?

Head of Yr1 I meant sorry! If a child in his class needs 1-1 surely that child has a TA etc?

Fine motor skills are developmental. My ds started school in Sept, his preschool had picked up that his fine motor skills were behind the year before. I was asked to do things like play dough and lots of cutting with scissors and mark making. All things to build up hand strength. Look up funky fingers and lots of ideas come up. Preschool also said to be that fine motor comes from gross motor so we incorporated jumping, balancing etc. I don't know if it helped or if he just got there in his own time but he's now starting to be able to colour in a and do some writing. He will be 5 in May.

It has been a while since I did my course but does he do any cross body stuff? In lower years at school they did exercises to promote cross body, ie putting your left hand onto your right shoulder, crossing the mid-line of the body. It is meant to help with brain function I think, like I said it has been several years but I did talk to our SENDCo about it at the time. Lots of videos on YouTube for Crossing the Mid Line exercises for children.

Develop their gross motor skills as well as their fine motor skills, again loads of stuff on both on Pinterest for fun ideas, and indecisive has mentioned lots too. As exploding says lots of children have missed out on stuff because of lockdown. Reception can be about writing their name in sand or shaving foam as well as holding a pencil. He is little, he has time to catch up but I can understand why it is a worry.

@SparklesAndUnicorns what activities does he do when not at school? Will be play with Lego or little people type figures? Will he draw etc?
Does he play out and jump / climb / throw & catch a ball etc. Much of it you can probably help him develop.

I agree with explodingeyes. Gross motor skills, running, kicking, throwing, catching, balancing, generally mature before the fine motor skills that are needed for drawing, writing, buttons, zips, shoelaces, cutting etc. Make sure he is having lots of opportunities to practise those rather than just focusing on fine skills, and when you are developing fine skills make it fun, play dough, cutting and sticking,Lego etc rather than handwriting which can be very frustrating for a child with weak muscles.

I would also get an eye check to make sure his ability to judge distance and depth is fine.

I think he’s further behind than just being the youngest. I’m married to an August birthday DH who was never behind I am led to believe. My DD is also an August birthday but was holding a pencil and doing some colouring in at 3. I think do what others have advised but speak to the school.

Have you not noticed him spilling food at home? Did you not practice any writing with him in YR? It seems very late to be finding these issues now. However I would ask that he gets more help from a TA at school and you supervise him at meal times at home. You must have some idea about how he manages food at home by now?

He's 5! Just.

If he's still finding writing difficult in a couple of years time, and still can't write his name, if he's still spilling food down his front, and is still "behind on literally everything" when he's 9 or 10, THEN I'd worry.

We all develop at different times, and particularly at 5, you shouldn't be comparing him to anyone else. Can you actually see him developing in himself when you don't measure him against other kids in his class who may be a year older?

My DD was a similar age when she started school - 5 on 18th August, started school in Sept. Her best friend was almost 6 when she started school - that's a HUGE difference at that age.

Really, don't worry yet - wait a few years. Although if your child really does need support, he shouldn't not be getting it because there's another child who needs even more support.

I’d worry now. 9 or 10 and still having problems is a major issue. It really must be tackled before then or he won’t catch up. Most people now recognise you cannot just leave DC to sort themselves out. The school will need to intervene if a child is a low achiever. So flag it up and ask for help. He needs help and the TA isn’t just there for one child whilst others who also have needs get nothing. The school has a duty to help him. Now!

fine motor skills - playdough = rolling , squeezing, poking with seperate fingers
bead threading on string, pipe cleaners
does he crawl around the floor - sounds babyish but its good for core strength
little things every day
(TA having to do such stuff)