Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

Original poster

Boys school.. should we

25 replies

User280 · 13/12/2021 20:29

Firstly for full disclosure... I'm not a mum!

We are moving back to the UK after many years abroad. We are looking at an independent primary school for my son 8. Which is just round the corner. The school looks really nice and the Headmaster and teachers we met make a really professional impression.

The one sticking point in my head, is that of an all boys school. Our son is really v. social and kind. Getting on with Boys and Girls alike.
At the moment his closest friends are girls.

He is not super sporty or competitive which could be and issue in an all boys school.

We want so conserve his social abilities in getting on well with girls and boys alike, and worry we could influence this if we send him to an all boys school.

There is a good mixed school about 7miles away, probably meaning a 25-30 min commute each way with traffic, so we are conflicted.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CakesOfVersailles · 13/12/2021 22:07

If it is primary is it just for two or three years and then you will look for a new school for secondary? Or is it through to year 8?

Honestly I would go for it. It's conveniently located, you like the school, you like the teachers. The sporty and competitive is a bit of a stereotype, there will be plenty of boys who aren't. You can always look at enrolling him in outside clubs that have boys and girls.

MrPickles73 · 16/12/2021 15:08

I would do a taster day at both and see what he prefers. I would be inclined to go for the co-ed school.

Hoppinggreen · 16/12/2021 15:09

Personal preference for me would be mixed.
I would only ever consider a single sex school if there was no good alternative

GratS · 16/12/2021 20:41

I would do a local state mixed for primary - social life and learning about friendships in and out of school is so important at this age, and so lovely to have local friends.

underneaththeash · 17/12/2021 09:11

Have you actually done the 7 mile journey in rush hour?

For example, we live near Beaconsfield and the nearest schools are all single sex, our closest mixed prep is in Chesham which is 8 miles away, it can easily take 50 minutes to get there.

All my children have ended up in single sex school and they're not very sporty. The boys schools tend to be a bit feral in reception, but they teach in a boy friendly way and there is a huge emphasis on being outside and being active.

guardiansofthegalaxychocs · 17/12/2021 09:19

@Hoppinggreen

Personal preference for me would be mixed. I would only ever consider a single sex school if there was no good alternative

This. I’m really not a fan of single sex education. I can very often tell adults who went to single sex schools.

Legoninjago1 · 17/12/2021 09:21

I chose all boys for prep for mine. Suits them down to the ground.

languagelover96 · 17/12/2021 10:57

Do a taster day.

campion · 17/12/2021 11:10

I can very often tell adults who went to single sex schools

How so? Do you ask them?

OP go for the school which best fits your DS. Ime there are often far fewer stereotypes going on so for eg singing in a boys' school is not uncool, ditto drama. But that's a sideshow to being in a school where your child is happy and successful.

Usernameoflotsofnumbers · 17/12/2021 11:16

Absolutely do a trial run in the rush hour/during school drop off - 7 miles can be ok or a nightmare depending on the traffic.

Some boys schools have partner girl schools and do lots of activities together. What’s your gut feeling about which school would suit your child best?

Might be worth having a look round the local state school as well.

CurtainTroubles · 17/12/2021 11:24

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

GratS · 17/12/2021 11:34

@campion I think it is you who is dealing in cliches- drama and choir and chess and craft clubs all very popular with boys and girls at our state primary, and plenty of girls play football and cricket there too. Really the world has moved on (thank goodness!)

CurtainTroubles · 17/12/2021 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

campion · 17/12/2021 12:39

@GratS I did say in my experience, which it is. I'm delighted to hear it's not the case in your primary school. Cliché or not,I've seen too many primary school choirs with an odd boy or two and the rest girls.
The boys' schools I have known have had a very healthy choir membership.

The girls' schools I have known have had no gender stereotyping and, as

@CurtainTroubles says, a higher uptake of STEM subjects.

GratS · 17/12/2021 12:48

@campion my eldest two girls are at a state secondary and masses of girls take science and maths a levels. Cliche cliche cliche. The world has moved on

CurtainTroubles · 17/12/2021 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

Legoninjago1 · 17/12/2021 14:12

[quote campion]@GratS I did say in my experience, which it is. I'm delighted to hear it's not the case in your primary school. Cliché or not,I've seen too many primary school choirs with an odd boy or two and the rest girls.
The boys' schools I have known have had a very healthy choir membership.

The girls' schools I have known have had no gender stereotyping and, as

@CurtainTroubles says, a higher uptake of STEM subjects.[/quote]
I absolutely agree with this and it's one of several reasons we went all boys. It's super cool to be a chorister at the all boys prep whereas girls significantly outweigh boys at the old mixed prep, despite it being more than 2/3 boys throughout the school. Similarly with drama. But more than that, I just feel the environment suit the boys down to the ground. It's not for everyone I realize that, but if it it went coed down the line I'd probably look for another all boys prep.

Arethechildreninbedyet · 17/12/2021 14:16

Is it a prep or a primary? If he’s leaving at eleven I’d be more likely to send him around the corner and put him in a co-ed high school. If it’s a prep until he’s thirteen I would send him the the mixed school.

Attending an all boys’ school doesn’t have to impact his socialisation. I would consider putting him in more girl dominated after school activities like gymnastics or dance to give him an opportunity to make friends with both genders!

Original poster

User280 · 18/12/2021 15:59

Hi, many thanks for the replies.

I tried the 7 mile commute as suggested. It was tolerable,
however I can imagine it becoming difficult if there was an accident, etc..

The boys school is on a joint campus with a girls school, and they do highlight joint activities, but I imagine this won't be the same as really mixed classes.

The junior school leads on to the senior boys school - which has a good reputation (Warwick School) so we would not have worry going forward. The sixth form is then mixed again.

I'm inclined to send him to the boys school at the moment. As it's a stones throw any appears v. good academically. Dealing with any others issues later.

any ideas thanks in advance

OP posts:

Chocalata · 19/12/2021 09:50

You have to look at this school by school - some of your local state schools will actually have better science teachers. There are more girls going on to medicine now than boys and most of them will be state educated so something must be going right (if you bear in mind 7% of pupils are private school educated and so only a tiny percentage of them will go to do to medicine.) you can’t say all private schools will be better not the case these days.

Chocalata · 19/12/2021 09:51

Thought I was on a science thread whoops!

explodingeyes · 19/12/2021 22:53

Are you definite about private? If so I'd choose the nearest one so that's boys. I think you can compensate socially via activities like Cubs and sports that are mixed. I have a friend who sent her boy to boys school at 8 for different reasons and he's fine. But they do try get him to stay involved in stuff with some girls

TizerorFizz · 20/12/2021 08:26

One of my DDs went to a girls’ prep. It really doesn’t affect the person they turn out to be! Single sex boys is fine too! You do find that boys have sisters, clubs that he can do outside school with girls and if girls are vital, just make an extra effort to meet them.

At boys secondary schools, I find most boys thrive. As there are several near me, I see no difference between those boys and others at a co Ed. If anything they don’t ogle the girls every day! (That’s a minority of course, but it happens).

I don’t think a boys primary/prep will leave ang lasting issues. Neither do I think he will be friendly with the girls he met at primary years into the future. You get friends at different phases of education. And outside school too. Single sex educated are perfectly adept at getting friends from both sexes. They don’t need them at primary. My other DD at co Ed primary wasn’t keen on any boys as friends in the end. Different interests. But it didn't matter. She was happy. So being with the opposite sex had no benefit for her at all. I can’t see that the boys benefitted from being with the girls. By Y4 girls and boys had pretty much separated out.

LondonGirl83 · 20/12/2021 10:38

I’d go with the school that feels like the best fit regarding ethos. All things be equal on that front, pick the one that’s most convenient as a long commute for a child is miserable and robs them of the opportunity to pursue interests.

Co-Ed is my preference but it’s not the main factor ahead of other considerations and I think there are ways to mitigate the socialisation concerns through clubs etc.

TizerorFizz · 20/12/2021 14:36

I do think it depends where you live regarding commute. We found at the girls prep that girls came from quite a wide distance. We were 30 mins commute in busy traffic. However the parents all accepted this and were prepared to go to where their DD had friends. Lots of after school clubs meant the girls had friends after school and sports matches on Saturdays promoted that for some too. We had so few children in our village, and none DDs age, it simply didn’t matter where she went to school. We just chose the best and it was girls only. Second best was girls only too!

Flip