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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

At wits end with year 3 homework

22 replies

elliejjtiny · 10/12/2021 17:28

Ds is 7 years old, in year 3 and has autism with no learning difficulties. He can talk but mostly makes pre verbal noises and screaming, especially when he is upset which seems to be often. He is very good at maths, especially times tables and has gone up 4 levels in the maths scheme they are doing at school this term, putting him 3 levels above his older brother who is in year 4. He really struggles with communicating, eye contact and especially writing.

At home I can usually comfort/distract him and he is usually happy unless I try and get him to go to school or do homework. Obviously he has his moments but it's usually nothing that a tight hug, rocking him and/ or reciting numbers with him can't fix.

Homework is an absolute nightmare. When he sees his bookbag he starts screaming and it's a massive battle every evening to get him to read his reading book and write out his spellings. He also has a worksheet to do once a week. A couple of times a week he will also bring home work he hasn't finished in class as well. Yesterday was a 2 hour battle to get him to do it. I ditched the worksheet for a while but the teacher told me off at parents evening for not doing it so we are doing it again. I've tried all kinds of things to make the spellings fun like doing them on the computer or with magnetic letters but he still screams.

My older son tells me he can hear the teacher shouting at my 7 year old through the wall all day so I don't think she is having much luck with schoolwork either. I don't know how accurate that is though.

I don't think I can take much more of this and I'm dreading him getting older and him getting more homework. Also really scared of another lockdown and schools closing again as I honestly don't think I can do home learning with him again as it was so awful last time.

OP posts:

SnugKnights · 10/12/2021 17:31

I’d just tell the teacher he’s not coping so you’re not doing it! It’s totally counterproductive for him to become so distressed about school work in my opinion. I’d also be speaking to the Headteacher about your older son saying your younger son is being shouted at.

ladyvimes · 10/12/2021 17:35

Your son may not have ‘learning difficulties’ but he certainly sounds like he has additional needs, which the school are not currently providing for.

The homework is easy - don’t do it. Explain to the teacher that he cannot access the homework he is being set and the problems it is causing. If he’s doing that well in maths then it won’t matter if he isn’t doing any homework anyway.

Secondly, the fact that your other son says he can hear the teacher shouting at your da all day is very worrying. Whilst everyone maybe has a bad day, the teacher should not be constantly shouting!! I would make an appointment to speak to the school Sendco and ask for an outline as to what your child’s learning targets look like and how the school is supporting him with his autism, because it doesn’t sound like they are.

As a parent of a child with additional needs, you will need to be thick skinned and prepared for a battle.

PerpetualStudent · 10/12/2021 17:36

Your son’s teacher should be differentiating his homework to meet his learning needs. Sending work home he hasn’t done in class is so counter productive!
The shouting sounds like a bad sign. Does your son have care/learning plan in place for school? (I forget the acronym) Sounds like a proper meeting with the teacher could be in order.

GiltEdges · 10/12/2021 17:37

@SnugKnights

This, basically.

QueenofBrickdon · 10/12/2021 17:38

Just don't do it. My son is the same and has never done any homework. We have enough battles and I'm not going to make homework another one. He is in year 6 now and school have always been supportive.

Fallagain · 10/12/2021 17:40

Stop doing hmk. It a very normal issue for children with autism to struggle with the concept of school work at home.

Does his current school meet his needs?

Sirzy · 10/12/2021 17:45

Does he get the right support in school?

From y2 until y5 Ds refused to engage in any sort of school work at home. In year 5 he agreed to pick his own book from home to read.

He is yr7 now and will normally do homework but not without the odd battle!

viques · 10/12/2021 17:47

I would ignore any work sent home to finish, spellings , writing tasks and worksheets. Read the book to him but don’t expect him to read it back to you, having a battle over reading books is not going to develop your child’s reading skills.

Your child has had 6 hours of sensory overload at school, home should be a place where he can be himself and relax. Homework is not going to improve his academic ability or sort out any other issues he has , but insisting that these mindless and inappropriate tasks are completed might very well put him off school and any school related activities in the future.

If there is some sort of homework diary to complete then do things that are appropriate and note them

I read to page 6 of the reading book.

X played a maths game on the computer for 15 minutes.

user290814356289 · 10/12/2021 18:05

We don't do homework in my house.

School is for school work, home is for relaxing and seeing friends and family.

I also wouldn't allow schoolwork that has been sent home to be completed.

PathOfLeastResitance · 11/12/2021 20:36

School have to set it, you don’t have to do it.
I say this as a long standing teacher and SENCo. Just say that he’s not doing it and that there will be no repercussions in school hard stare

2reefsin30knots · 11/12/2021 20:47

I run a specialist setting for children like your DS. I do not set homework, other than in rare cases where families ask for it because their DC like doing it. The DC spend enough energy just coping with school all day, even is a setting well adapted for them. The lack of homework does not make any difference to their outcomes- we get plenty of 'greater depth' SATs results.

Agree with PP- just tell them he will not be doing it. I also agree the other issues need addressing. Do you think he is actually OK at school?

languagelover96 · 13/12/2021 15:23

Tell us about the type of school OP

SoItWas · 13/12/2021 18:32

I wouldn't worry too much about the worksheets, but I would keep up with the spellings, if possible, how many words is he set per week? Could it be reduced a little? Book wise, could you take him to the library to choose a book appropriate for his level, instead of the set book?

"A couple of times a week he will also bring home work he hasn't finished in class"
I wouldn't be happy with this, surely there's another solution than just sending it home with him?

Original poster

elliejjtiny · 14/12/2021 23:45

Thankyou everyone. School is a mainstream state primary. He has a learning passport which is similar to an iep with termly targets but no ehcp yet. Senco said she would apply for one for him at the beginning of year 3 but it hasn't happened yet despite me nagging. He brought home his English book yesterday with work to do at home and it was full of comments from the teacher like "X refused to do any work today despite support" and things like that. His target for the last 2 years has been to write the date and learning objective in less than 10 minutes. He never meets the target. I asked ds about the shouting and he said that the teacher doesn't shout at him so I don't know what to think.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 15/12/2021 06:16

I would apply for an ehcp yourself. When the books come home from school photocopy them as further evidence they aren’t able to meet his needs

rrhuth · 15/12/2021 06:21

Another one saying tell school this work is counter productive so you won't be doing it. Do this in writing.

Ask the teacher not to write these comments in the book where he will see.

Escalate the ehcp issue to the head.

languagelover96 · 15/12/2021 15:39

Apply for it yourself. Make photocopies of the books and use them as evidence. Forget the worksheets, and concentrate on spelling.

viques · 16/12/2021 13:30

@elliejjtiny

What a waste of his writing time being expected to copy the date and “learning objective”. He is learning nothing by doing that except that some tasks are pointless. He could be encouraged to write two sentences showing capital letters and full stops in that time.

I understand that the teacher has to account for the empty spaces in the
exercise book, but writing supported or unsupported would be enough

OutIsay · 26/12/2021 00:01

Apply for the EHCP yourself. Have look at the IPSEA website for how to do it. They are not meeting his needs currently. A target of write the date and LO is ridiculous. How about they just write it for him and get him to concentrate on writing anything meaningful, or dictating it to someone for them to write?

titbumwillypoo · 26/12/2021 10:27

I started printing off dates in a dotted format for some of our year 3's to go over. It allowed them to practice the spelling and meant they were looking at the teacher when they were doing the lesson input. The teacher needs to be reminded about reasonable adjustments and picking their battles.

TeacherPrimary7 · 26/12/2021 11:20

I'm sorry to hear this.
A resource that may help? www.youtube.com/channel/UCpw5UAFfIo4C__NwIikMRvA

thelegohooverer · 26/12/2021 11:34

My ds (also asd) has issues around homework because it is an intrusion into home life. School is a different thing to home and the crossover between them is very difficult for him to cope with.

I was following the advice to have a quick snack and get homework done early in the afternoon before they get tired. But in our house it works much better to have a chill out period after school, eat a good dinner and go our homework when we’re up against the deadline of bedtime.

Ds didn’t have obvious learning needs but he did have emotional needs that weren’t met in school. We’ve moved to secondary and been fortunate to have a very supportive school now. He doesn’t actually realise he has an sna, because, while ds is her focus, she is careful not to single him out, and talks to other kids as well. But she is available when he’s struggling with small (not to him) things, or to help at the locker, or resolve social problems.

What has really impressed me about his school is that they take notice of his personality and emotional profile and work with it. It has helped create an environment where he feels safe, and that, ultimately is the key to learning.

I’m not saying these things to boast (and trust me we’re up to our eyes in problems) but to outline that there are more needs than learning difficulties, and that they can and should be met. I’m genuinely appalled that his teacher is shouting at him - that shows that she is completely out of her depth. But also, doesn’t say anything good about the school if she can be heard and isn’t getting support (or criticism) for it. All teachers shout now and then but this sounds like much more than that.

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