Page 2 | Where have I gone wrong?

LefttoherownDevizes · 08/12/2021 07:55

Some kids just don't 'get' phonics and learn to read in different ways. If you have been doing loads of reading with him he may have developed his own system and is having to unlearn that and learn this.

All three of mine (all at secondary/sixth form) struggled with phonics, the real push to it came in as they were little. Eldest DC also refused to read and was levels behind the other kids. We find him one day in year 2 reading DHs James Bond Car Encyclopedia. He wasn't playing dumb at school, he just had no interest in what school we're offering him to read so didn't bother

So, if you're happy with your son in other ways and he's still interested in reading etc just ride it out, reading is a great way to learn spellings amongst a whole host of benefits

LethargicActress · 08/12/2021 07:56

As long as you’re listening to him read every day, you’re doing enough.

Bumpsadaisie · 08/12/2021 08:11

Why do you think you've done something wrong?

In a class of year ones some will find phonics easier than others. Someone has to be at the top end and the bottom end.

Your Dd isn't finding it as easy as others. That's ok. It will have little to do with how well he achieves academically bythe time he's 18!

By the time they're 9/10 most kids without sen can read and the no one can recall which kids got there first at ages 5/6.

When you were 16 your gcse results were so important. Who thinks about those now? Nobody.

When your boy is ten his reading group at age 6 will feel similarly ancient history.

Bumpsadaisie · 08/12/2021 08:15

My eldest was a super precocious reader. My youngest average.

The youngest is gradually becoming more academically able as he's got older. I had always thought he would be less academic than his sister but I am not sure now. If you had a crystal ball and told me that actually he ended up with better a level results than she did, I wouldn't be surprised.

lorisparkle · 08/12/2021 08:28

Please don't worry- ds2 was placed in the 'cause for concern' group for reading in year 1. We supported him by making reading fun, reading to him every night, completing all the work school sent home , etc. In year 2 it was like a light bulb had been turned on. He just 'got it'. After 2 years of struggling and finding it hard he whizzed through the stages. He has now got a reading age 2 years above his chronological age and is predicted the equivalent of As /Bs in his GCSEs.

Children progress at all different rates.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 08/12/2021 08:43

Ds was great at phonics in TR but as soon as he had to put more effort in he wasn't interested. Towards the end of Y1 he was slipping behind and not making any progress in reading.
What fixed it was really doing a lot of shared reading - him one sentence, two for me and increasing his amount slowly. And then Captain Underpants which he wanted to read so he tried hard.
He's now one of the best readers in his class and his spelling is good in Y6.

Original poster

Mackmama · 08/12/2021 09:02

@Hippywannabe they use ‘Letters and Sounds’ a family member who is a teacher really rates read write inc.

Thanks for all your comments everybody, you’ve been so kind. I feel very reassured and I’ll be taking your advice about reading, playing games and keeping it fun for him.

OP posts:

rmummyofone · 08/12/2021 09:33

@Mackmama

My DS is in Year 1. There was a discussion on the parents WhatsApp today which revealed the children have been split into ability groups for phonics. It’s clear from the spellings they have been given to learn that DS is in the bottom group. I’ve seen the spellings for the other groups, and I think DC might manage the middle group ones but by and large, I do think the teacher has placed him correctly as I know if DC is struggling with them every week he’ll feel undermined and get stressed. My question is what have I done wrong for DS to end up here? I’ve read to him/with him since he was tiny and played games (5 minute mum etc) to make it fun. We did loads in lockdown when we were homeschooling. Nobody at school had identified any learning difficulties and his writing and maths are okay I think, it seems to be the reading and spelling. What more can I do to help? I’m obviously not wanting to put stress on my DS with this as he’s pretty sensitive and I think it would be counter productive.

You haven't done anything wrong at all, if it helps, I teach year one children now, odds are your son won't even realise the difference and if he does, use it as a way to motivate him to try more of the trickier ones

I remember struggling a lot with phonics and spellings from Reception probably through to year 3, from year 4-8 I got to upper/ middle level and by year 9 I was excelling academically. It takes time and looking back, I did it all on my own! It was great to not have pressure from parents ever making me feel like I wasn't doing enough. I got there, your son will too :)

twinsyang · 08/12/2021 12:31

@Mackmama

My DS is in Year 1. There was a discussion on the parents WhatsApp today which revealed the children have been split into ability groups for phonics. It’s clear from the spellings they have been given to learn that DS is in the bottom group. I’ve seen the spellings for the other groups, and I think DC might manage the middle group ones but by and large, I do think the teacher has placed him correctly as I know if DC is struggling with them every week he’ll feel undermined and get stressed. My question is what have I done wrong for DS to end up here? I’ve read to him/with him since he was tiny and played games (5 minute mum etc) to make it fun. We did loads in lockdown when we were homeschooling. Nobody at school had identified any learning difficulties and his writing and maths are okay I think, it seems to be the reading and spelling. What more can I do to help? I’m obviously not wanting to put stress on my DS with this as he’s pretty sensitive and I think it would be counter productive.

My DD is in year 2 and they have different spelling groups. The difference amongst the groups is probably a couple of words. I am not worried at all if your DC is in a lower group or higher group. Which group they are in normally was decided after their first spelling assessment at the beginning of the academic year. IMO it is more important to improve the reading comprehension and writing skills.

Alltheblue · 08/12/2021 14:42

My son has dyslexia. On the one hand, when he was in P1, we were really laid back and that was good. But we were also perhaps slightly too willing to listen to people saying he'd be fine, he was only little, when early intervention is actually really important. So you've done nothing wrong, he's wonderful, but do keep a close eye on this and get your own assessment if you need to, if this struggling continues.

Refrosty · 08/12/2021 21:33

DS is also in Year 1. Started the year needing phonics intervention. I felt so so low about it. With the schools help (both at school and with guided homework) he left the intervention sessions earlier than planned, and is soaring up the coloured reading bands. When it clicks, it clicks. Don't be disheartened, kids get there at their own pace and in their own time.

DS recently read the name of a movie that was advertised on the side of a bus. I could have cried.

DS still has trouble with the non-phonetic alphabet tbh. He always gets good results in spelling tests, but ask him to spell it out loud and he can't say 'C-A-T, CAT'. It's hard to figure out, but I am giving it time and we'll get there too.

bluetowers · 08/12/2021 23:32

You've done more than most. Some DC just take a bit longer. Just read read read

languagelover96 · 15/12/2021 15:33

Make literacy part of everyday life. Read books together and discuss them etc. Find books online, in the shops, at the local library, and at book fairs as well. You can also purchase books from Christmas markets and garden centers too that might be worth money.