Advice needed - should I consider changing primary schools?

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Thank you for reading and I would really appreciate some advice. I suffer from Anxiety, which the school are aware of, I don't know if this makes any difference to your advice:

DD started Reception in September, since then she has only managed to do two complete weeks due to sickness (cold with vomiting so needing to follow the 48 hour rule), virus x 2 and Covid). Our first major concern is twice she has come home noticeably ill/Covid cough at the end of the day, when it was obvious to us and other parents waiting at pick up that she was so unwell. I'm not sure why it's being missed in school and be arranged for her to be picked up if needed- am I being overly sensitive?

There has also been two occasions of physical alterations at school - which DD has told us about and resulted in her becoming really upset about going to school. We worked with teacher/head teacher through this and for a period this seemingly settled. But, DD has made two comments that the same two children are again behaving I. A similar manner this time to more children, which has coincided with again a reluctant DD at drop off. There has also been a third occasion which the teacher advised us off, this resulted in a school meeting.

To be honest, this feels so much to happen in a short time, I see DD becoming less confident and upset, getting frustrated and now saying she is "useless" (never to we use this term) - I am at the point where I am finding myself considering whether we need to consider changing schools?

Am I over-reacting, my gut says no, but equally have we given DD time to settle as she has been off a lot due to illness?

Equally, a change could/will cause further distress and exposure to a different set of bugs and more time off. I feel at a bit of a loss.
Thank you 

It is not unusual for children to be sick a lot when they start school, especially as she has probably not had the usual range of bugs due to social distancing etc. Now she has had them, it will settle down. I would not expect a school to call the parents where the child has cold type symptoms, although they should scan for a temperature these days.

I think you might be overreacting to normal teething problems, so I wouldn't change school at this point. I would try to work on controlling my anxiety and above all making sure it isn't affecting my DC and making her anxious or giving her a negative view of school.

It can take a long time for DCs to settle in reception and your DD hasn't had a chance because of her illnesses and absences. The other DCs also need time to settle too so I think it's too soon to move her.

I would ask for clarity about their illness and Covid policy eg in our school, DCs get sent home immediately if they are ill or have symptoms. Regarding the DCs that are being physical, ask school how they are ensuring your DD is safe going forwards. Mention their duty of care.

I wouldn't be too concerned about the sickness thing, children often have coughs and colds and the teachers would be sending children home all the time if they did this for every cough. It also is dependent on teacher, last year the teacher called me all the time to collect my ds and often he seemed fine when I picked him up whereas this year the teacher hasn't called at all and once he definitely had a temperature at pick up. I suppose teachers are less aware as there are so many children and I'm not sure that would be different at another school.

I would be more concerned about the behaviour issues. When I was visiting schools behaviour was the most important thing for me. There will always be poor behaviour but is it being dealt with well?

A lot of my friends have mentioned their children saying things like 'I'm useless' etc recently and they're a similar age, maybe it's a developmental thing or related to the pandemic? There are some good self esteem books aimed at this age which might be useful.

Thank you, I have spoken to the school this morning as I needed to call in absence anyway and your advice confirm my thoughts now having had a good talk with the FLO.

I have also arranged some talk therapy for myself to start addressing my anxiety around the school transition and managing it.

Behavioural issues are continuing to be monitored and the teaching team are aware. Work is in place with said children.

Fingers crossed for a smoother time for all the children.

Thank you again

It's very hard. But for now I would keep communication open with the teacher.

Write and note or email to say that if your daughter appears sick that you are available to collect her. Just keep things positive at home.
But look at it again in a while. One of our young dc is going through something similar (bullying) and dh and I rang the teacher. Things ard improving and it was clear it wasnt just our son going through a rough time

My concern is if you move her then she isnt happy in the next school then her confidence and resilience may drop. Buy go with your hut instinct and keep a tight eye.

Gut

I’m surprised your child has only managed two full weeks in what, 10 weeks?! It’s no wonder your child is struggling to settle really.. it’s disruptive & the others kids will be in all week.

My DD’s had loads of illnesses since September but she’s only missed 4 days. 2 due to a vomiting bug & two Fridays waiting for PCR results.. but I send her in with colds, coughs (negative PCR’s) etc. Unless she’s significantly under the weather, she’s in. I think school is more non-negotiable. With nursery, I’d keep her off a bit more but school is more important. From a learning & friendship perspective.

Do you have health anxiety? Does this impact your view on your child’s health & getting them into school?

I agree. 2 weeks attendance is very low. No wonder she cannot settle. I think you are possibly keeping her away too much and you are ending up with separation issues. Most schools work in attendance being over 92% so you do need to get more robust about this or you will have ongoing issues at any school. So send her in! The more she stays off the worse this will get.