4 year old DD not ready for primary 1

[Dam87]

Hi my DD is still at nursery and is 4 years old turned in August.

She is currently at speech and language as she has difficulty with speech , forming sentences etc so usually communicates by pointing etc.

She is going to be going to primary 1 in 10 months and after having a meeting with the nursery I feel so disheartened.

I thought she was coming along great and would be ready, but they brought up she doesn't enjoy group activities, doesn't listen well to instruction, and may need support in primary, this may mean we are not able to put her to the school in our village but they may recommend she goes to a unit for kids with communication issues

I feel awful and terrible as a mother, like I haven't done something right.

She is honestly the brightest happiest little girl, and she plays with others and communicates great at home, we recently enrolled her in swimming lessons but they have said she doesn't follow instructions either she would rather play in the pool than do what the rest of the class do,

I am at such a loss as what to do do any mums have any advice? Or have a similar situation with their DD? I think she just likes to do what she wants to do and I don't want to label her so young any support would be great x

She'll be fine in Primary better than if you leave her in nursery. Just let things progress naturally and don't force any unnecessary changes.

How's her hearing?

NHS kept saying DDs hearing was ok, turned out it wasn't- no wonder why she had severe speech delay 🙄

Has she had her hearing tested ?

Don't be bullied into not sending her to the local primary school. If it's very very small maybe consider sending her to a larger primary school with better facilities

Hearing in a noisy environment like a pool or nursery is really hard work compared to home. It wouldn't surprise me at all if there is a hearing issue going on.

The NHS bar for what is considered hearing impaired is very high at 40 decibels where as children should be able to hear at under 20 decibels across the frequency range.

Thank you we did have her hearing tested at 2 and they said it was fine , but it is definitely something I will consider getting done again 😊

Thank you I did feel very overwhelmed when they brought it up to be fair and it sounded more of a funding issue than what was right for her

My friends daughter didn’t speak till 4. She’s 12 now and writes her own plays :) hang in there OP x

DD passed 3 times, an older sibling was seeing a therapist privately for something different but he is also a Johansen therapy practitioner. So he did a proper hearing test, really took the time to observe whether she could hear or not.

Turned out she had an inverted hearing curve - too sensitive to low frequencies, in the high frequencies it needed to be at 38 decibels in her worst ear

She was speaking exactly what she could hear ie complete lack of high frequency sounds essential for learning to speak.

She is honestly the brightest happiest little girl, and she plays with others and communicates great at home, we recently enrolled her in swimming lessons but they have said she doesn't follow instructions either she would rather play in the pool than do what the rest of the class do

This stood out to me. Could she possibly have sensory issues ?

My DD does & struggled to pick up things & follow instructions in these types of settings as the noise overwhelmed he. She was mostly fine just playing though as she didn't need to follow instructions. Bright as a button & no problems at all at home though.

Google auditory processing disorder. A child with it usually aces a regular hearing test which makes it difficult to detect in younger children.

I just KNEW my DD couldn’t hear, particularly in noisy situations but felt like I was going mad.

@Zodlebud that is actually what DD had, fortunately the Johansen Therapy means she now has great hearing. Helped that it was detected so young she was only just over 3.

When you say you "don't want to label her" do you mean you have been rejecting suggestions that she is referred for specific assessments about whether her social communication difficulties amount to a diagnosable condition? A diagnosis isn't a "label", it's a way of accessing expertise and advice for strategies that are more likely to be helpful for your DD. Please don't reject the professional services that could make a huge difference. If your DD is affected by some kind of additional challenge or neurodiverse condition it is not going to go away if you try to ignore it because you don't want a "label".

We are seeking all the help we can get and diagnoses that we can , I mean I don't want whatever it is to label her as just that, I don't want society putting her away into a box because of her label

We are seeking all the help we can get and diagnoses that we can , I mean I don't want whatever it is to label her as just that, I don't want society putting her away into a box because of her label

It won't because she has you fighting her corner & you won't let that happen, plus you say she's bright, so she'll soon learn herself to kick any box she's put in into touch

Diagnosis should get her the help to reach her full potential that's all

Thank you, I'm just feeling very guilty and drained from it all but you are right I will always fight for her x

Thank you, I'm just feeling very guilty and drained from it all but you are right I will always fight for her x

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, we all learn this stuff as we go along. The ones failing your DD are the ones teaching her, & not spotting that's she's struggling to follow instructions due to being likely distracted & overwhelmed by the surrounding noise. They work with DCs & should be more aware. That isn't your fault or your DDs, it's theirs

From recent experience I would absolutely push to have your dd’s hearing tested again.
To echo a previous poster I was convinced my dd couldn’t hear all the time, but on the day of the hearing test she aced it. Thought I was going mad. Retested three months later and she failed.

Private SLT is expensive, round here it’s £120 for an initial assessment, then £80 a session. I didn’t feel that the NHS one was measuring up. Something to consider?