Help with socialising at the school gates

[Emilyplays84]

LO started nursery at primary school in Sep. I feel like I'm letting my LO down a bit because there's nobody that I'm very friendly with. I see other parents who have their little groups and their kids play with each other outside of school. I've chatted to a few different mums but just small talk. A lot of parents know each other from older kids or coming from the same nursery. I'm starting to dread the school run a bit. Any tips on school gate socialising? What do people talk about everyday?!

Small talk with a few different mums is pretty good going if you didn't know anyone before your DC started! You'll probably find that once parties start up you'll get to know more parents a bit better. Or you could always invite a child that yours is friendlyish with for tea?

In terms of what you talk about, what they are doing at school, things you don't know about the school (if they have an older child), general stuff about what's happening locally etc.

Does your child mention anyone regularly? At this age, a play date invitation involves the parent coming too so is a good chance to sit down with someone for a coffee!

At this point, small talk is totally fine! Agree with PP - “there’s a local Halloween / bonfire / etc thing happening locally” - is pretty much all there is to talk about when you have five mins and you don’t know anyone.

Does your child have any particular friends in school so far? Could you organise to meet in the park? Or do an activity together? Or have the child plus mum over for a play date?

Do the children from school tend to go anywhere in particular after school? There’s a local park loads of kids from my school end up. Could you go there after school more often?

I hated the loitering outside the school gates. People were always sidling up to boast about their own children or complain about other people’s children. Or teachers. Or each other. Or trying to get me to sign petitions that I didn’t agree with, or guilt me into taking a day off work to man a bake sale.

You aren’t really missing anything. But if you really want to join in, just wait until the birthday parties start. You will get to spend a lot of time with these people at jungle gyms and in church halls. Or join the PTA.