unhappy at school

[molwen]

Not given her preference of secondary school, she-is so unhappy both emotionally and socially. All her friends who live in the same village got a place except her. She has tried-to fit in at her new school but misses her old friend who are now, although not intentionally but quietly becoming distant. She has become socially withdrawn and just wants to go to the same school as them to reconnect, she feels so lost and alone and believes she has been punished. She always lacked confidence and this has set her back. It is heartbreaking to see. She had the same problem abd had ti appeak with primary school choice and now its repeating all over again. She feels she has been singled out! Appealing is once more on the cards but our local Council are stalwarts in their decision making so don't want to raise her hopes only for her to be beaten down again. Its so unfair as she us a sweet, kind hearted and a really good student.
So worried. Why her?

Is she on a waiting list for the other school?

Go on the waiting list for the preferred school but also try to get her to focus on making a good go of it at her current school as that’s the reality.

Also, you have to break the victim mentality she has which she might be picking up from you subtlety. Thinking ‘why her?’ yourself isn’t going to help her stop seeing this as some sort of injustice or punishment, which it isn’t.

Presumably she either didn’t pass an entrance test or didn’t qualify based on distance. Just reinforce that while disappointing it’s not unfair and that her new school is great and she should put all her energy into settling there.

You could try to appeal. Did you miss our due to the catchment area being slightly out?

I agree with the 'why her' and 'being punished' thinking. It's on distance or whatever the schools admissions policy is. It's not against her personally.

I would definitely appeal but it's imperative that you completely understand the process so that you write an appeal which might have a chance, stuff about French GCSE and chess club rather than friends for example.

Do you know where she is on the waiting list?