Reception will he be ok

[raymondanddebra]

My son is due to start reception in September 2021 and I'm just wondering if anyone has been in my position which I will explain below, and have you had a positive outcome

So my son is just over 3.5 so will be 4.5 when he starts school. At the moment he has been going to nursery for the last year for 3 hours a day and had made good progress and loves it there

However he is behind with his speech. He copies lots of words and knows colours numbers animals and animal sounds, shapes etc but the issue is when he wants something he doesn't request it, he takes you by the hand. So great Vocab with lots of copying etc but if he needs something b at school like to go toilet for example then I hope he will be able to ask. It's this sort of thing I'm worried about.

Nursery are in the process of applying fir an EHCO for him bit I just worry he won't be able to ask toe what he needs at school?

He has various 2 words like lift open and lift close that he's learnt from copying me and various other 2 words. He says "I want to go door " Altho not very clear. He's quite behind on his longer sentences

Anyone been in my boat and how did it work out

As part of the EHCP process it will be discussed with you if mainstream school can meet his needs. I’m not going to judge because I’m not an EP or education professional in that way. However I do know that to be admitted to a special school, the EHCP must state that school. You cannot choose it yourself if it’s not recommended.

For many children who would be destined for such a school, their needs would already be flagged up I suspect. Some DC are flagged up very early. Obviously mainstream school is where you should be looking right now but you will get to see what the professionals are suggesting and he’s still got quite a lot of development to do so don’t worry just yet. In the meantime ask the nursery why they think he needs a special school. Can they justify that position?

Sorry guys another question cos I Just remember he has social communication disorder - do ppl with this disorder ever progress/get better?

I really think you need to speak to whoever is taking care of his development. Does he have a paediatric referral? Children vary, don’t they. When you know what the professionals contributing to the EHCP are saying when they see him and write their reports and recommendations, you will get a better steer on schools and help available.

@raymondanddebra I could of wrote this exact post everything is so relatable. I think the main point is nursery is aware and parents are top and we are working with it. I'm not going to lie I'm a bit stressed about a comment that was made today from someone else but myself and keyworker can see massive improvements even from September...I have older children top and I get mum guilt as last year I was homeschooling so attention was on them and wasn't 100% with my lo when I was when my others were younger!

@YesIcan3 how old is your little one? Do they have social communication disorder too

Is he autistic OP? Autism is a social communication condition. My daughter is 4, autistic and just started mainstream school. Ups and downs honestly but it’s gone better than I thought.

I’d recommend you look into an autism diagnosis as there are a few red flags here - not answering questions, labelling / naming but not asking for what he needs, leading by the hand, playing alone.

I’ve seen from another thread that he is being assessed for autism. That’s good and also great you’re getting an EHCP.

Autistic people will always be autistic but make progress like all people do. They have a spiky development profile so my daughter can read already but struggles to hop, for example.

There’s lots of support and experienced posters on the Special Needs boards so I’d recommend posting there.

It’s a hard road OP I’m not going to lie. But starting school hopefully with a diagnosis and an EHCP is a huge bonus.

Autistic people find change and transitions hard so planning a strong transition to school will be important. Find a school that is known for inclusion and has experience of autistic kids….I’m not sure where you are but you’ll probably have to apply by January next year so now is your time to be looking round, talking to SENCOs, asking locally etc

I hope you’re ok. I have days when I’m really not ok but others when I am. Support from other parents is out there/

Why are you cross with @Legomania?! They suggested you ask nursery directly if there is a deeper reason they’re hinting at a specialist school. I really can’t see a problem with that?!

The Paedtrician said he is showing signs of autism and he's on the waiting list for an assessment which should happen around June next year time

Many autistic/children with social communication needs children go on to make a lot of progress as their development can happens in bursts, however he is likely to always have difficulties if he has been assessed as having social communication disorder. (I do have relevant experience incase you are rude to me too).

If your nursery and other professionals are pursuing an EHCP , this suggests that they do not believe his needs can be met under normal SEND provisions ans he will need extra support in mainstream education which can't be provided with reasonable adjustments or specialist education. If this is the case, then the nursery sounds brilliant in pursuing it at the first available opportunity. I suggest that given his needs are significant enough to warrant this support, advice from the SEN section on here will really help you, particularly as you want to speak to people who have experience only.

Some children thrive in mainstream education with support, some are better suited to a specialist setting. The professionals around you will help you to know what is right for your boy and there is every chance you will learn more, adapt more and make changes as time progresses. It's a journey, just like every aspect of parenting.

To broadly answer your question though, yes, he will be fine. He has good support at home and nursery and the right professionals assessing his needs.

I teach in a special school and many off my kids have social communication difficulties and autism. It's a huge spectrum so it would be hard for anyone on here to give you answers you are looking for. Some children on the higher functioning end will do fine in mainstream, others will really struggle. Special schools tend to have smaller class sizes, ot and speech therapists on site, more staff which can help. My school is only for early years up to age 6. Some of our children will leave us at 6 and go to mainstream - the intensive support in their 2/3 years with us can help. Some will go to units attached to mainstream schools. Others wi continue their journey in special. It really just depends.
If he came to us all our classrooms have a visual timetable. We have lanyards with symbols to explain things as we move round school or the children sometime come to us and flick through the lanyard to find the symbol of the thing they want e.g. The toilet or a preferred toy. We use makaton as well as symbols and speech. We have pecs boards and pixon boards individualised for each child.
Your nursery may feel some of these things will be beneficial for your son if they are suggesting a special school. But the choice is still yours to decide what you think is best. I would recommend arranging some visits just so you know your options. Sometimes you will just know when you find a good fit for your son