Feeling out of place

[Hnr20]

So just a little back story, I’m a single parent still living at home with my parents and the house is on a council estate.
My little girl has recently started reception in a village school a short distance from us. Our catchment school had terrible ofsted and stories from people we knew who had sent their children there, so it was a firm no, which was why I chose this other school. Except now I’m really having second thoughts, the school is fantastic, but the parents are totally unrelatable and I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.
They all live in the village, have a decent amount of money and very nice homes, and a lot of them all know each other already and have little groups formed.
Obviously my main concern is putting my daughters education over any of my worries, but I can’t help but feel like rubbish and really anxious every time I do the school run. One mum has invited my child over for a play date as her child and mine has struck up a lovely friendship, but I’m too embarrassed to let anyone know where I live as I know full well I will no doubt be judged on my living situation and what our home looks like.
I suffer badly from anxiety so have always had constant worries of what people think of me, but to be from a totally different class and background as all the other parents really has made me feel a bit rubbish and feeling very out of place.

Not sure of the point in this post but just needed to let out how I’m feeling.

I think it's your anxiety speaking here. You say that there are pre-established friendship groups and yet your child has had no problem at all building up a friendship with a classmate so much so that she's been invited to a playdate. Clearly your daughter is settled at the school and in my opinion is what should matter the most. The way I see it is school is for children to have an education and build friendships and is not meant for parents to build their own relationships and friendships. If your daughter loves the school and the teachers and her friends, then you've achieved everything that a parent would want in a school even if you've not made a friend of any parent there.
No decent person would judge you for where you live. You're a great mum and that's all that matters. Live by the "fake it till you make it" mantra - show the outside that you are happy and confident even if anxiety is crippling you inside and soon it wouldn't be so hard for you to talk to others at the school gate should you wish to.
All that is needed is a home full of love - doesn't matter if it's a home in a council estate or a mansion. You already have that and so no reason why you cannot invite your daughter's friends for a playdate. If the parents decline because your home is in a council estate then that speaks volumes about them and not you.

I agree with previous poster. I couldn’t care one bit what sort of house my children’s friends live in. To be honest, I felt far more out of place visiting what can only be described as a mansion for one friend, versus the two bedroom flat her best friend lives in. I was scared to sit down on the white sofa and am petrified whenever my daughter goes round there 😂😂😂.

Home is definitely where the heart is. They will already know you’re not from the village so just be open and honest. I think your anxiety is making this feel more overwhelming than it really is.

Definitely the anxiety talking, almost imposter syndrome. Your dd is just as deserving of a place as any other. Your address is irrelevant, just be friendly and polite.

I can empathise, but really, the main thing is that your daughter is happy. If she's already made friends and been invited for playdates so early in Reception that's fantastic. Don't be ashamed of where you live. If you are friendly and facilitate your daughter's friendships, that's really all that matters.

If you really feel self-conscious, why not 'reciprocate' the playdate by suggesting you take the children to the park for a bit after school, or something like that?

Play dates mean that your DD is fine and the parents haven’t taken against you - no matter whether you worry they have.

And most parents won’t care. Provided a house is clean and there aren’t loose dogs jumping everywhere, people do t usually judge. But if you’re worried a start with inviting out fir a play date at the park or soft play.

Aren’t you judging them and pre-supposing what they may think ? Please please don’t worry about this. You chose the school for a reason - stick to your guns.

We just want our kids to be happy. As a pP said - most parents don’t care two hoots where the family of a friend lives - as long as a family is welcoming to our child.

And you don’t know background of any of these people - who may well have come from a similar financial background and lucked out/worked really hard for a good job/been blessed with the right opportunity at the right time.