YR child doesn't want to go to school. She has always had shy moments now and again but the shyness seems to have become more holistic since she started school. It was fine at first and she seemed to enjoy it but now 4 weeks in we are frequently late because of tears and tantrums. Today she needed to be physically removed from the car and then lay flat on the car park floor and refused to get up until a teacher approached to offer help (because she is shy she instantly got up and hid behind me at that point). She is evidently hoping I will just pop her back in the car and take her home but I've held firm. She said she feels too shy at school and doesn't enjoy it. Is this behaviour normal for shy children? I suppose this is not uncommon? Best ways to handle it?
Also in terms of playing with each other, what is normal for reception children? She said she plays with the other children but the teachers have said she is not joining in. She also says the other girls run away from her at break when she talks to them and the boys are very rough, pushing etc so she doesn't want to play with them. I think they are just quite a rough and physical bunch of boys and she isn't used to their play rather than them singling her out (I hope).
I did witness some of the dynamic at a class birthday party, she approached the girls to play and they ran away from her and acted completely oblivious to her, same thing when they sat down for the birthday lunch, they rushed to sit near their friends or favourite children and dd was sat away on the end, present but not part of it. Dd showed no particular desire to bag a seat near any of them so I do think she isn't helping herself by not putting hereself forward. In the end she spent a good portion of the party crying because she didn't have anyone to play with until eventually playing on her own. There were times when one or two other children were looking a bit lost but parental attempts to get them to play together failed, unfortuntely that meant the other child wandered off to find someone she liked playing with more leaving dd on her own again. Dd did say at the end of the party she enjoyed herself but I'm not sure how much as she spent the whole time looking stiff and stressed but I'm pleased she has a positive attitude.
She is absolutely fine one-on-one with adults and will talk for hours. I'm wondering if the other children don't want to play with her because she is shy and they find that off putting? She plays very well and ethusiastically with other children she meets in parks and will sometimes initiate the play, she seems to prefer imaginary roleplaying games, especially with slightly older children, perhaps this is because older children more readily engage in this style of play? I am confused why friendships would be so hard at school when she does not have a problem playing with random strangers. My other children had made a best friend or small group of friends within the first few weeks of school. Do I need to facilitate this with playdates or is it just still early days and will work itself out in time? It is a small class, is it possible she won't find anyone she clicks with in this class, is that even possible at this age?
I think she is finding 5 days a week at school too much and as she apprears to be an introvert I think she needs more time to recharge. It is a shame that schools don't have a part time option for children that don't take to it like ducks to water.