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Primary education

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Separate schools for DC and worried

2 replies

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 30/09/2021 22:13

We are moving to a completely new area after half term, we tried to do it by the end of the previous academic year but weren’t able to find anywhere to live. So now we are in the position where our year 3 DS has been offered places in two of our preferred school choices and our Reception aged DD has been offered places elsewhere. We will accept the place for our son but we’re not sure what to do about our DD. We have several options.
She turned 4 in August and has possible additional needs - she has an assessment for autism next month. There were problems at her nursery and they were unable to deal with her challenging behaviour. It was a stressful time for all involved. My DD used to pick at her skin, causing sores on her face that didn’t heal as she would pick at the scabs, when the issues were at their height - she was 3 at this point. She understood herself to be “naughty” as this is what the other children told her. The staff didn’t really have the tools to deal with her behaviour or to assist in her socialising with her peers. I had intervention from SALT and Health Visitors to observe her at the nursery to provide support and strategies to the staff. In the end I reduced her days and she spent time with relatives and was love bombed two days a week. This really helped her. I knew she would be starting school and other local nurseries were all full so I didn’t think it would be beneficial for her to leave the nursery. Even though I wanted her to. She is now in Reception class and the school have strategies in place to deal with her behaviours and they are very positive and hopefully her self esteem is increasing. However we applied to the school knowing that we would be moving and it would be a short term placement. We could have kept her at the nursery but never really considered it fully as the placement wasn’t working.
Now we are at the stage where we are about to move and DD doesn’t have a place at the same school as her brother and I am now wondering if I should defer her school year. I would prefer that she goes back to nursery for another year and starts again in Reception. Or another option is that she goes to nursery until a school place is made available. I was told it’s rare for Reception age children to leave. (I guess we’re the exception). The third option is she attends another school until a place is made available at her brother’s. Or we defer and she returns to school in Year 1 but that is also dependent on spaces not that I want to pursue that route.

I know this a decision that me and my partner have to make. I am just after possible similar experiences or general chat and a hand hold as I’m worried how these potential changes will affect DD. It’s all so stressful and I want DD to feel as secure as possible.
Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
HSHorror · 01/10/2021 11:45

I would have said go back to a preschool but it sounds like she is better in a school environment.
One of mine is going at CSA. It's been much better (had huge issues with other dc). We did have some
Asd traits - hating plasters (now loves them) hates hair brushing. Certainly 1 dc i think youngest would pick at scabs so we got then the chicken pox injections as that would have been awful. Issues with hats and gloves which dc grew out of by 3yo.
I think i wouldnt worry about having them in different schools. Especially if you do drop back a year. Also here dc can walk home in y5 or there are after school clubs.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 01/10/2021 13:35

Thanks for responding.
Yes we have decided to keep her in school and make sure they are aware of her needs and any possible triggers. Also they both have wraparound care. I think it's my overthinking.

A good idea about the chicken pox vaccine. Ours have also had them but this was before she displayed these traits so I can imagine how it may have been.
Thanks again

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