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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Taking two days off school

29 replies

MayorGundersonsDogRufus · 30/09/2021 07:20

We recently relocated from overseas and are current living in quite a difficult and stressful domestic situation. We had the opportunity to return to our previous home for a visit to see our and DDs friends, which would be immensely good for all our mental health. Unfortunately it's not been possible to plan this around the half term holiday, so had planned to go the weekend before. We out a request in to DD's school (she is 8) to take her out for two days (Friday & Monday) so we could go but they have declined the request. I'm absolutely gutted. Life is so hard at the moment and we were all massively looking forward to it. If we don't go then it will be February before we can get over there.

We are debating just going anyway, but understand we may get fined, and the whole thing makes me anxious. We just can't decide what to do. It's not like we're taking time off for a holiday. Any advice or experiences?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mummyh2016 · 30/09/2021 07:21

Schools aren't allowed to authorise term time holidays so it would always have been declined.

Neolara · 30/09/2021 07:22

I'd just go.

Sirzy · 30/09/2021 07:23

If she is struggling to settle would going back to visit so soon not risk making things worse?

That said school can’t authorise but that doesn’t mean you can’t go

BendingSpoons · 30/09/2021 07:27

Schools have to decline it. I thought you often get fined for 5 days + off, but I'm sure it varies.

Make your decision based on your family priorities but essentially to the school this is a holiday to see friends and family.

GoodnightGrandma · 30/09/2021 07:30

You should have rung her in sick.

Bert2020 · 30/09/2021 07:31

They have to decline. You still need to go it sounds like it would benefit you all.

honkytonkheroe · 30/09/2021 07:31

Speak to the head. They can’t authorise (my understanding is that they literally don’t have a code to put it under). When my son attended his aunt’s wedding on a Friday, the head explained that she couldn’t authorise it but obviously had no problem with him going and clearly expected us to go. I would have no issue with going personally if you had the head on board. I wouldn’t want to go with there being any bad feeling. I do however also wonder if it might make things worse if she’s struggling.

schoolhelp22 · 30/09/2021 07:33

They don't have to decline, I don't know why people always say that, our primary allows term time holidays in some circumstances. Most, so long as you aren't taking the piss. It's head teacher's discretion.

residentkaleidoscope · 30/09/2021 07:35

My requested time always gets denied, go for it and enjoy selfish.

residentkaleidoscope · 30/09/2021 07:36

Yourself not selfish lol

rattlemehearties · 30/09/2021 07:39

It's not like we're taking time off for a holiday eh? It literally is?

The school can't authorise it. You might get fined by the Local Authority but surely you need to factor that into the cost of your "not a holiday" trip? £60 per parent a day I think.

GoWalkabout · 30/09/2021 07:46

None of us can say you won't get fined, because it varies in different areas, but for two days, in covid times, you have good odds I would say. So it comes down to 'am I willing to break the rules' and can I enjoy it anyway if I do. What you should be aware of, is that there are probably others in your dds class who do this for a week every year without a thought. I'm not saying that's right, just that it won't be unusual.

HalzTangz · 30/09/2021 07:50

Just ring in on Thursday with covid symptoms and go visit your family.

I think it's ridiculous schools controlling days off (I only actually agree with this rule when it gets to GCSE and A level years).

parrotonmyshoulder · 30/09/2021 07:52

As above. School isn’t allowed to authorise, but is very likely to be on board. It’s fine, and right, to go!

parrotonmyshoulder · 30/09/2021 07:53

Not ‘as above’ as in ring in with COVID symptoms. That’s a bad idea!

Sirzy · 30/09/2021 07:55

Please don’t lie to the school. Certainly don’t lie about COVID symptoms.

It’s not exceptional circumstances so school can’t authorise it. That doesn’t mean you can’t go.

gogohm · 30/09/2021 07:56

They cannot authorise time off for holidays, there's a half term break for families to go away in. Taking her out of school will disrupt her education. Returning to old friends isn't always helpful when they are adjusting to new circumstances - been there

desperate4spring · 30/09/2021 07:59

It sounds like a holiday to me....

I'm sure it would be good for lots of people's mental health who are having a hard time to have a long-weekend visiting friends!
I think everyone else is sucking it up and waiting until February (or next summer or whenever).

lynntheyresexpeople · 30/09/2021 07:59

@gogohm

Ridiculous. 2 days won't disrupt anything. Children were home schooled for months during this pandemic, I'm sure that disrupted them far more than two days would. Half terms are stupidly expensive for holidays. A holiday in a young child's life is as important an experience as school is. Far too much pressure on such young children.

Op, take your child and go.

Justsaying22 · 30/09/2021 08:29

When my son was in primary school a couple of years ago we put in a request to take him out for 10 days and it was refused but the school secretary did explain it would be automatically refused. We took him out anyway and just reminded them nearer the time that he wouldn’t be in.

ZenNudist · 30/09/2021 08:31

I just phone in sick.

prh47bridge · 30/09/2021 08:51

A number of people on this thread state that schools cannot authorise days off. That is wrong. The school can authorise days off in exceptional circumstances (Education (Pupil Registration) (England) Regulations). It is also wrong to say they don't have a code to put it under. Authorised absence is code C in the attendance register.

Having said that, the school does not have to authorise days off and many choose to hide behind the argument that they are not allowed to.

OP - Whether you would be fined depends on where you live. Most LAs would not fine you for this if your daughter's attendance is otherwise good.

Original poster

MayorGundersonsDogRufus · 30/09/2021 09:04

Thanks very much for the replies. Lots to think about. We definitely don't plan to make a habit of this but we are new to the school so they don't know us very well yet. I would worry about calling in sick as I don't trust DD not to tell everyone!

For those saying we are taking a holiday, I do totally see what you mean, and I suppose it is in the strictest sense. I appreciate we are not the only people who have had a hard time in the last year, but I lost my mum in March and have had to relocate to care for my disabled dad, and hold down a very busy full time job as the sole earner and it's all getting a bit much, tbh. This was one thing we could look forward to as a family in an otherwise pretty terrible time.

OP posts:

Bobholll · 30/09/2021 20:20

Just go OP. I’m a governor at my kids school & thankfully they are fab about kids missing the odd couple days or even up to a week. They do decline holiday requests, they have no choice but we just fill out a form, sign that we are happy it’s an unauthorised absence it’s always met with a smile & have a great time. And because of this, no-one takes the piss really. We have very high attendance & kids generally miss a couple days either side of a weekend or holiday once or twice a year. Our ethos is the entire wellbeing of the child, including their right to family time. We acknowledge that occasionally, family time doesn’t always fall on a Saturday/Sunday or school holidays. 🤷🏼‍♀️ & for the love of god don’t listen to people saying you are disrupting her education. It’s two days, she’ll be fine.

I had severe asthma as a kid & missed weeks at time of my primary & early secondary education. I got 10 A’s at GCSE, 3 A’s at a-level, a degree & a masters.. it’s fine. 😂

Original poster

MayorGundersonsDogRufus · 30/09/2021 22:36

Thank you. Do you think we should tell the school now that we are still planning to go, or just ring in on the morning of?

OP posts:

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