treachers etc- would you allow a child to withdraw from school play if its making him ill??

[Peachy]

DS3 is 8, in year 3 and has ASD.

He ahs been off school a few days after being snet home with stomach apins.

The root of it seems to be he is terrified about the annual paly, which is a huge 3- form collaboration, he is saying the smells and noises are hurting him and making him ill (i think he amy have IBS, as thsi happens with stress).

DH and i want to have him pulled out if it is sufficeint to make him ill, however we're aware that cover etc could be an isue (he does have a 1-1 but only 10 hours, they already cover extra frm the school)

How reasonable is this request do you think? he's only part of a chorus, no lines or anything.

I think it is perfectly reasonable - although I don't understand what you mean by cover?

If you mean someone else to do his lines/whatever, then that won't be a problem as they will have standbys in case of children being poorly on the day.

No, I meant someone to supervise him- they're currently rehearsing every day for an hour, so thats a lot of school hours!

Yes, I would let a child withdraw if it was making them feel ill. It would, though, try and explore a bit more about what exactly was making them feel ill and see if there was a way of including them in the play which did not cause them stress. Eg. just joining in for the last song or something like that.

How would your ds feel about being in the hall while the play is on, but not having to take part? Could he hand out programmes to parents, or turn pages for the piano player?

You're right, that cover for him may be an issue if all the staff are involved with the play, but if he's willing to be in the hall, then it may solve the problem.

Alternatively, could he sit in the school office during rehearsals or performances or in a different classroom, or would these options cause him too much stress too?

Are you in a position to come and pick him up from school during rehearsals/performances?

Oh I see!

Can he go into another class with 1:1? Or sit and watch them rehearse? Or maybe just be part of the choir?
Or could you just keep him off for the next few days? (Don't know if thats a possibility)

Go into another class WITHOUT his 1:1

How would he feel if he sits out, but watches the others practise? Would this get round the supervision problem?

No don't think this is unreasonable at all. Plays are supposed to be fun. Can they get him involved back stage or help making programmes?

I think him being in the Hall at all is the issue- peforming is something he's generally OK with (we do events watched by 100,00 poeple as a family but he always get lots of eprsonal space), the small Hall is hosting a performance group of 90 kids so the smells / sounds etc are overlaoding- spoke to another Mum today whose non-ASD child is beging to stay home so its not just ds1.

Have asked for him to be released, coudl collect him theoretically but last time I was aked to on Tuesday it was another day and a half before I got him back through the school gates. He's developing (INO) a school phobia on top of his agoraphobia, so am a biit wary about excuses to come home iyswim?

Ds2's teacher has said that if he finds the class play too stressful he can drop out. She was the one who approached me in the first place so I would say it's a reasonable request.