Skipping reception year?

[Schoolwhattodo]

Older DC really hated reception, cried every single day. It wasn’t a good year all round for DC1 (though DC1 now says reception was fun ). Is very happy at school now.

Younger DC started reception a month ago and is crying every day. It’s heart-wrenching again. Birthday is January, so not especially young. I am very cheery and positive to them both, older DC saying it’s so nice to have younger there etc but DC2 is struggling with it.

In hindsight I wish I’d done more for DC1 and maybe skipped reception year altogether. So am now contemplating this for DC2.

It feels like a big thing to do though, and the school wouldn’t be supportive.

I would obviously do it carefully - home ed groups, lots of forest school groups etc, keep up learning, and then start in year 1.

Any experiences?

@Schoolwhattodo

Can you tell me more about the importance of reception? Genuinely very interested. I have read that children start too young here (I read this after DC1 struggled) so had always thought it was an ideology by our government, rather than a good thing.

Lots of countries start later which I think has merit BUT reception will be like abroad where they have kindergarten for years, lots of learning by playing and so on. I think it's massively the social element, getting kids ready for Yr 1 and 'proper' learning. I think it'd be a really bad idea to take your child out of reception if you're planning on sending them in yr 1, unless you plan to home school the whole way through. They wouldn't be prepared, they'd be the new kid whereas everyone else would know each other, they wouldn't have the softer curriculum to east themselves in gently, etc.

If the nursery provides care for his age group he will receive the appropriate syllabus for his age in a place he enjoys being.

Argh, really difficult. Tbh if I could afford it I'd home ed (unschool) my 9 year old! So in that sense, if I had an unhappy child in reception and had the capacity to remove them, yes I'd do it.

But I agree with others that the transition from R to Y1 is tough and I'm not sure how well a year at home would set a child up for it. 😬

It is really tricky. I thought I had some specific objections to schooling as practised in this country, but broadly (politically) believed it was better than home ed. After a few years trying to squeeze my square peg child through the system, plus the lockdown-induced trial in unschooling, I've rethought that position.

You sound like your instinct is to remove him...

Lots of nurseries provide education to 5

Agree with pp that the school sounds awful.

Can I ask what was it about the school that appealed to you when you were choosing somewhere? Did you ever visit on a normal day and see the regimented approach in action in reception? That would have put me right off and I would have found an alternative where the emphasis was on play. Outstanding status means nothing if the children aren’t developing soft skills and having fun.

My sister in-law was a teacher and they pull them in quickly because usually they stop crying as soon parents leave. Even though parents think they are being kind hanging around, it actually makes it worse.

Ask the teacher how he is once he's there. Some children just have problems separating and waiting until year 1 probably won't make this better. The fact that your older child now only remembers reception being fun should tell you that it probably on balance was the right thing to send her there.

Sounds like the issue is the school I wokld be looking for a more nurturing setting

There's currently a waiting list of 20 for year 1 at my DC's school. I'd be careful before giving up a place in an infant school.

Op would your school be open for flexi schooling so you could take him out 1 day a week or 2 half days,

I grew up in Scandinavia where schooling traditionally start at age 6 but they still do kindergarten first

This is really interesting. My DS was in reception during the first lockdown. There were children in reception who really struggled going in (before lockdown), crying, screaming, clinging to parents. After lockdown and a couple of extra months at home they were like different children. Happy, confident, wanting to go class. It was quite amazing for those children. So I really think there is something in children being ready.

However I also think it’s a risk taking them out when all the others will be moving on. As others have said maybe the school isn’t the right fit? Ours is an outstanding academy and all learning is fun and play based.

also i think the notion that they start school way earlier here than on the continent isn't quite correct. we might start teaching reading and writing sooner but a lot of kids (in France, Scandinavia at least) go to kindgerarten/nursery in a fairly formal setting from a very young age - so by the time it morphs from 'paint 3 red shapes' into 'lets start reading' they are very ready?

also i think the notion that they start school way earlier here than on the continent isn't quite correct. we might start teaching reading and writing sooner but a lot of kids (in France, Scandinavia at least) go to kindgerarten/nursery in a fairly formal setting from a very young age

Here the kids go to montessori from age three to five for three hours a day. It is very informal. They go for little walks, to the playground, play dress up and play with toys. There is absolutely no reading or writing.
It sounds very different to the UK system and much more child centred.
I had this discussion before and somebody claimed that we were ‘holding back intelligent children who were capable of learning’ which entirely missed the point.

I’m sorry but I think that is an absolutely crazy idea. If they are struggling with Reception which is largely play based I can imagine going straight in to the more formal style of Y1 straight from nursery would be an even bigger shock to the system.

You said your daughter was January born, I can’t see if you have mentioned when your son was born. If he is a summer born you could pull him out and ask for a Reception start at Compulsory School Age. Though a strict academy may not be too accommodating of this.

Oh and I Couldn’t agree more that children start education too early in this country. I started my summer born boy in Reception a year later for just this reason but there is no way I would have missed Reception altogether.

@Schoolwhattodo - can you genuinely consider another school?

My DD has gone to school this time & it couldn’t be more different to how yours sounds. Ours is an EYFS unit, so has a nursery attached. It splits in two but most of the day, the kids mix. It’s 90% free play, access to outdoors all day. The kids get pulled into small groups over the day to do phonics & numeracy. It’s completely child led. They do do school stuff, assembly, PE in the hall & circle time/show & tell. But most of the day is very nursery like really. Our school also do forest school once a week Ruby all year groups. They are out in the woods toasting marshmallows on a fire every Friday!

We also have no uniform. Which I’m not that keen on but there we are.

We picked this school for it’s set up & outdoor access/forest school. It gets great academic results, some of the highest in our area but is really arty & values creativity and a child being a child. They do so much art across all years, the school is covered in it. It’s one form entry, small & nurturing. It’s Ofsted rated Good. We decided against two outstanding schools locally because we much preferred the school we got!

(We live in semi-rural Yorkshire, we had quite a lot of choice of schools, competition isn’t that hot!)

That school sounds awful for your son. I'd be inclined to move somewhere with a more suitable school. But your daughter is really happy there now, and it would be a pity to uproot her.

Are you in a position to home educate your son in the longer term? Y1 might be just as bad as Reception for him.

With your DC being born in January, they don't have to go in until April and you have the right for them to attend part-time until then. Would keeping them home 1 or 2 days a week be an option - you could do home schooling type stuff on those days? Half days would be another option, although I found them more difficult with a slightly reluctant school as they have to arrange a midday collection just for you.

It sounds like the wrong school for your kids.

Mine just started reception - they have free flow to the outside, tons of outside learning, very much play based learning. Natural and easy transition from nursery. They are doing phonics and stuff of course but integrated into fun activities.

Many countries that start school later have basically almost universal uptake of kindergarten or preschool that looks a lot like reception here (at a school that is actually doing the play based approach)

Your school sounds far too regimented for EYFS (especially with the revised curriculum)

[quote Bobholll]@Schoolwhattodo - can you genuinely consider another school?

My DD has gone to school this time & it couldn’t be more different to how yours sounds. Ours is an EYFS unit, so has a nursery attached. It splits in two but most of the day, the kids mix. It’s 90% free play, access to outdoors all day. The kids get pulled into small groups over the day to do phonics & numeracy. It’s completely child led. They do do school stuff, assembly, PE in the hall & circle time/show & tell. But most of the day is very nursery like really. Our school also do forest school once a week Ruby all year groups. They are out in the woods toasting marshmallows on a fire every Friday!

We also have no uniform. Which I’m not that keen on but there we are.

We picked this school for it’s set up & outdoor access/forest school. It gets great academic results, some of the highest in our area but is really arty & values creativity and a child being a child. They do so much art across all years, the school is covered in it. It’s one form entry, small & nurturing. It’s Ofsted rated Good. We decided against two outstanding schools locally because we much preferred the school we got!

(We live in semi-rural Yorkshire, we had quite a lot of choice of schools, competition isn’t that hot!)[/quote]
Similar here really. We have 3 primary schools in easy walking distance, one of which is rated outstanding. But it seemed very focused on academics right from the start and I didn't take to the head at all. We weren't overly keen on the other 2 either.

So we chose a school 2.5 miles away which has a far more holistic and nurturing approach, play based reception and more emphasis on creative subjects. We couldn't be happier with the school.

Personally I think I'd have been doing my children a disservice to miss the lovely, fun, reception where they played outdoors most of the day, and join straight into Y1 which, whilst they still have fun, does involve a lot more sitting down at the table. But in a school where reception was more like that I may well feel differently.

It might get easier when he makes more friends. My son used to cry every day - he wasn’t keen on the other boys’ rough and tumble. When he got to know a few kids who weren’t as in into chasing each other all break, it got a lot easier! We had a few weeks of being tearful on the way in, then he loved it. He did have a fab and caring teacher though.

I think you’d be mad to miss reception and start year 1. My daughter is a few weeks into y1 and talks about how there is less play than reception and how they’re doing more learning now. She’s noticed a visible difference. It would be much harder I think to start in year 1 than reception regardless of age.

Your child will be of compulsory school age in January, so unless you intend to find another school, or home school him, he’ll need to be in school.,

If you take him out now and there is no place next term, then what? Or, if you home school him for the rest of the academic year, you’ll be in a similar position if you want him to go back next September.

Like others, we choose the "good" rated local school with no uniform over the two "outstanding" academies and the "outstanding" Cof E school which sets from Y4.

My two have thrived in a less intense setting so would agree with exploring other options.

"Your child will be of compulsory school age in January"
The OP said his birthday is in Jan so he reaches Compulsory School Age in April.