Moving just after DS started school

[Ready4abreak]

I'm just looking for some advice.

My 4 year old DS started school a few weeks ago. He is extremely shy and doesn't have any friends yet as he struggles to talk to people but knows a couple of the kids from nursery and knows and likes his teacher.

We have been looking for a new house for some time as there is myself, DH, DS and toddler DS2 in a 2 bed flat. We have found a 3 bed house with a garden but it means moving DS from his school as there is no way we can afford to get a bigger place where we are.

Would you do this? He is adamant he doesn't want to move as he doesn't want to go to a new school. I know he's only 4 and we can't decide simply for him but I also don't want to set him back.

Really agonising over this currently and decision needs to be made in the next couple of days.

Thanks for reading and any advice gratefully received.

I think he’s so little that it will be okay. He’s only been a few weeks so far, hasn’t he?

I don’t think you should ask him his opinion because then it sounds optional.

Is there anything that would make the move appealing? A hamster; a trampoline, etc?

And is the new house really far from the old place? Do you know anyone there?

Yes the new house is in a different town. The city we live in is ridiculously expensive and there is no way we could manage a 3 bed house here.

I know one person in actually the same street but he doesn't know anyone there.

I have explained that I understand his concerns but sometimes adults need to consider other things too.

We have viewed it and he loved it especially the garden but still makes it clear he wants to stay where he is. We made a big deal of the garden saying we could get a trampoline or a slide.

I'm sure he would be fine but is loving school just now and I don't want to ruin that. The school in the new town looks great.

Is it close enough that, while the move goes through, you could join a weekend activity there? Like a sport he likes etc, so he could get to know some new children before he moves?

It would help him get used to it too.

Honestly he’s so little. I moved school age 5 and I don’t remember my first school much, and I don’t remember being upset either, but apparently I didn’t want to.

Thank you. That's a good idea of a weekend activity. He is doing one where we are currently which we can keep up as it's about a 40 minute drive.

Yes of course. He'll forget very quickly.

they have been in school a couple of weeks and its probably been not full days anyway. You have found a better house so go for it , hes only 4 he will settle in quickly I dont see why you are letting him dictate to you

We moved house when Ds was moving into year one. We were in a two bed and needed a three bed...he had to move school. It was fine. I certainly wasn't prepared to stay in our two bed place when we needed more space just to avoid moving school. It's no big deal

Move. You know what is overall best. Stop trying to persuade him, just get on with it. Tell him you are doing it 'because we know the new place will be better for the whole family'. Also tell him 'any worries or changes we will help you'.

Millions of families just have to do things every year - forces families, refugees, relocating workers etc.etc. etc.

Yes, he’s so young that he’ll be fine.