Do you allow your DC to invite a a class mate to their party when they haven't had one to theirs

[zez]

Just wondering how do you all deal with your DC party invites.
The way I see it is that my DS should only ask classmates that are his most favoured friends.
Unfortunately my DS is quite sociable and seems to want to invite everyone even those classmates that in my opinion he doesn't seem to bother that much with.

He is asking to invite one particular classmate who I know is having his party next week and my DS has not had an invite to his.
I am not sure if my DS is aware of the party
but he wishes to send him one for his.

I always feel a bit sorry for my DS when he misses out on a party which I know is silly really.

What would you do would you invite this particular child.

Yes, I would, but then my dd has been in the awful position of being the ONLY ONE in her whole class not to be invited to a party by one of her class mates.

That is awful Was it a genuine oversight?

Yes, I let DD choose who she wants to invite to her parties.

I go with what ds1 wants... but mainly because I have a memory like a goldfish and don't actually remember whose parties he went to throughout the year...

DD had a halloween party this year, as her bday is only a few weeks away from it and I knew we wouldn't have the time for a bday party.

She was allowed to invite a certain amount of friends, the only time I stepepd in to make any kind of decision WRT invites was when I told her the two people whos parties she ahd been to she ahd to invite and the two girls she has playdates with she ahd to invite, that was it.

She told me friday that one of the girls she invited was having a party this weekend and she wasnt invited, I just said 'maybe she ran out of invites, I only allowed you so mnay remmeber and there were people you couldn't invite' she was fine with that, I got 'oh, yeah, maybe she'll invite me next year' and that was it.

So I wouldn't worry too much, just let him invite who he wants, unless there is a reason for certain children (like the 4 I made DD invite-she wanted to anyway but I reminded her of them) or if you know certain children are horrible, rather tha just not inviting him themselves.

I absolutely would - I don't see parties as being reciprocal at all - a party guest list is the list of people the person wants to share their birthday with, and as others have said, some parties can have 20-30 guests (soft play etc), some are 10-15 (swimming), others are 3-8 (home). So sometimes people may simply not be able to invite everyone.

Also, something that happened to us and is worth checking - a girl in ds1's class was having a party, and ds1 wasn't invited. They are 'quite' good friends (better now actually), and I was a little surprised he wasn't invited, especially since his best friend was, and they are a bit of a twosome, and don't 'tend' to get invited separately. But I resolved 'not' to mind .

A week before the party, the girl's mum asked if ds1 was coming to the party - turned out the invitation had gone astray and he WAS invited after all. A few of them had gone missing, and for another party as well, which I was similarly surprised when ds1 wasn't invited. But I'm so glad they checked with me, as it's impossible to ask yourself - there was ANOTHER party where ds1's best friend wasn't invited, but I'm convinced he was actually invited and lost the invite - but there's no way of asking without sounding strange!!!

Angonamo. You're hesitant about inviting child A to your son's party, because your son hasn't had an invitation to Child A's party?

But Child A's mother could surely be saying exactly the same thing! Unless someone invites first, nobody will ever get asked to any parties at all.

I leave it up to my dcs and i let all the mums know that. It's their birthday party after all...

You can set a limit on the number if you don't want the whole class (or the venue may impose a limit), but within that its up to your child.
I think its very nice he wants to be inclusive.

Yes. A child's birthday should be his or hers to decide upon. Makes no difference who invited whom previously.

Mind you looking at the last thread on this subject I thought I was almost the only MNer who felt this way

Yes. Dd has invited a certain couple of friends to her parties year on year who have never asked her to theirs ever.

It niggles me a bit (I'm being honest here but I never let on I've noticed) but you can get horribly tied up in knots over this sort of thing and it's not worth the angst. Dd is happy and unworried and if she's happy I'm happy.

Hi
Yes I do now believe that it should be up to my DC who he asks as its his party.
And he has sent an invite to the classmate who is having his this saturday.

Not sure if he will come though, TBH I don't know if anybody feels the same but I find the whole party invites saga a bit pathetic sometimes as I am sure that the parents lean their children towards inviting those classmates whose parents they talk to the most on the playground.

I think you tend to get these little cliques on the playground.
Does anybody else think the same.