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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

End of relationship and need to move house but DD sue to start reception

16 replies

Asteve15 · 18/08/2021 16:50

Hello

Just looking to get some thoughts on what to do about my situation please as I am super stressed.

I've been in a relationship with DP for 12yrs but we are now separating. We currently rent and have 3 months left on our fixed term lease, which means, like it or not, we're stuck here together (he should be leaving but that's an issue for another post/time).

DD is 4 and is due to start reception in September, she has a place at a school near our current home but come November, when the lease is up, I'm looking to re-locate out towards my mums, which is a good half an hour drive away.

What do I do about schools??! Do I carry on and let her start at the school she's got a place at, knowing she won't be there long? Do I try to get her in somewhere close to my mum's (I know there are still places in one of primary schools). Can I even do this before we move? Do I keep her in the school she's allocated to even when we move and just deal with the travelling?? Aaah, I don't know??

I know the start of term is looming and this is a really bad time to be having this problem. DD is shy and will already find starting school and making friends hard (as I guess many will). I'm worried she'll finally get settled/make friends and then she'll have to go through the whole process again when we move. I'm also worried that this, coupled with moving house and her dad not being with us anymore will just be too much in one go.

If the time frame wasn't so short with her starting school in weeks and then us needing to move in Nov I wouldn't feel quite so worried. It's also the fact she's starting reception.

I just don't know what to do for the best and was wondering if anyone had been in a similar situation please?? Am I just over thinking this and should I just start her in her allocated school and deal with the other things as and when they come up ie sort out our house, then school etc

OP posts:

MamaTutu2 · 18/08/2021 16:51

@Asteve15 if you know there are places contact admissions and ask for her to be transferred to that school. Consistency is so important for young children

NautaOcts · 18/08/2021 16:54

If you’re positive you’ll be moving near your mum in a matter of months, and you plan to put down roots there, then look into her starting school there so she doesn’t have to move.
I’m guessing with covid she won’t have had too many settling in type sessions at the current school?

But if you need more time to work out where you’ll be, or are not sure about that school/area then just proceed with the current plan. She will be ok moving schools in reception, kids that age adjust quickly in my experience

NautaOcts · 18/08/2021 16:56

And yes you can apply from your current address it’s just if there were not places you’d be behind anyone that lives closer, but if they’re under subscribed you should be able to transfer even before you’ve moved. Talk to admissions at the council that cover the area your mum is in

xyzandabc · 18/08/2021 17:01

If it's possible for you to do the travelling, and you know you will definitely be moving close by, it would be nice for her to start at the school near your mum's. But I assume that will be at least 2 hours a day travelling for you, there and back twice. If you work, probably not possible?

If it's not possible then it's not the end of the world, at that age they adapt so quickly to new situations and surroundings. By Easter, her and her new friends will have forgotten that she didn't start in September with everyone else.

Separating and moving are both stressful so only do whatever you can manage without overloading yourself.

PotteringAlong · 18/08/2021 17:03

Could you live with your mum for 6 weeks before you move?

OverTheRubicon · 18/08/2021 17:06

Parents unhappily living together AND then splitting up AND starting school AND then changing school AND moving house is too much for a 4 year old unless there is no other option.

Is there an option to apply with your mum's address as your future base? Or do you have savings to cover 3 month's rent and moving early? Or for the sake of 30 mins, could you even consider renting closer by this school and then moving in a year? Or if there are spaces available in your new place, do a month of longer commutes and move after or even if she's young you could just start her in the next term.

She's going to be going through a massive upheaval, as a separated parent I know it can he necessary but also think that children should be put first during a split, to lighten the impact.

Someoneputthekettleon · 18/08/2021 17:09

If you can manage the travelling now and are sure that you will move area then I would start her at the school she will be staying in. If the school has spaces they can (and have to) allocate out of area if someone applies.

Hope it all works out. It is going to be a tough period for you but you'll get through it.

averythinline · 18/08/2021 17:11

I would contact council admissions and do an in year application at the school near your mums...don't start her then move......
Is there no way you can move earlier? Even if into your mums?

gogohm · 18/08/2021 17:16

If there are spaces and you can drive her there then I would start her at the new school as long as you are positive you will move there

gonnabeok · 18/08/2021 17:17

Definitely start her at the school near your mum 's and do the travelling or stay with your mum until you sort your new address out. Ring the school ASAP or email them- they normally monitor their emails in the last few weeks of August.you will need to get some uniform too for the new school.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 18/08/2021 17:18

Depends a lot upon her father. He might object to you moving and insist that she is kept in school near to him if he is aware in advance that you intend moving away.

itsgettingwierd · 18/08/2021 17:19

[quote MamaTutu2]@Asteve15 if you know there are places contact admissions and ask for her to be transferred to that school. Consistency is so important for young children[/quote]
I agree.

It's better to do 2/3 months of the journey than do it for 3 years.

Contact the LA and ask about add missions and application process for that school.

LadyCatStark · 18/08/2021 17:21

Yes, I’d try and stay with your mum if that’s at all possible.

starpatch · 18/08/2021 19:04

If you do an application for the school near your mums, if you get a place you won't need to take it up straight away. School isn't compulsory until the term after they are 5 and schools legally have to keep a reception place for you until Easter if you have accepted it. If you need the childcare that is another issue!

Orchidflower1 · 18/08/2021 19:09

Can you not cut your losses and either move in with your mum or move closer to school now. What is keeping you this property @Asteve15 ?

LIZS · 18/08/2021 19:16

Agree, if there is no reason to stay for three months can you move earlier. Stbx can stop there short term. If the school has spaces and no waiting list they should allow her to start there in September.

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